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Joie De Vivre! (...or maybe NOT)

Monday, January 05, 2009

The Beginning: "I am worthy of positive changes today."

The First Time I 'quit' SparkPeople

... or, 'Living With Joy (Vitality)!' I just like how the French sounds!

Hey there, everybody. I hope your new year is starting off well... with goals, dreams and inspiration all lined up and working for you and toward the life you desire! "The realization of dreams begins with responsibility."

Part of my plan is to be more active with my four year old daughter... to make moving together part of our daily experience. To that end, and because we live with snow five months of the year, she received skates from 'Santa' for Christmas. And, despite not having been on skates for approximately 15 years, Mom and Dad bought skates so we could take advantage of the opportunity, too.

This afternoon we had a BLAST! Our faces were glowing with the fresh air, her delight and determination were sooooo inspiring. It's that exuberance I'm rekindling in myself. It was her first time on skates, and she's skating like she was born with them on her feet. I didn't want the afternoon to ever end....

...That is until I slipped trying to avoid another little person, fell, and slammed the back of my head into the ice, giving myself a MODERATE to severe concussion and whiplash. Yup. They called the EMT guys (I was 'unresponsive' for a few minutes), and I was carried off the ice on a backboard. Yet another 'new' experience my adventure in fitness has afforded me ( was a bit scary for a few minutes). And no, I wasn't wearing a helmet... I grew up in an era where life was to be lived with joy, not fear... the catch phrase 'safety first' didn't get coined until I was well into my 30s. SIGH. 'They' do have a point though, don't they? (...although I don't remember a lot of people getting hurt, either... perhaps because there was no false sense of security?)

However, I've NOT given up! I actually love to skate, and I've missed it. I just have to be a little more cautious until I get my ice legs back... and I get used to hockey skates (LOVE how they feel on my feet!) rather than figure skates. And the afternoon WAS priceless... even the two hours in the ER....

I had plenty of opportunity to consider under what circumstances I might return. Just over a year ago I spent a day in the ER being evaluated for the possibility of a brain aneurysm. My blood pressure was through the roof (220/110), and I had a headache I would not have believed possible. Today I smiled quietly to myself as my blood pressure, even under duress, read in the normal range; and even though my head was POUNDING and I couldn't exactly see straight, I felt an enormous sense of well-being.

I now understand why athletes are such restless patients... once you get used to moving, it's HARD to be still... there is medicine in the movement. Even thought I fully understood why it was important, all the while I had to be still, my muscles were screaming at me, "Get up and walk this off! We'll take care of you, but we need to work this out through movement." Even now, I feel better moving around the house (albeit in a limited way), rather than lying still. My body hurts less as I move. A year ago it would have made complete sense to me to lie around until my body 'healed' (stiffened up would more likely be the case). I wouldn't have even questioned it. Now, not only does it not make sense, I couldn't do it if I tried. My body speaks to me with greater authenticity. It has a wisdom I can once again hear and, if it told me to rest, I certainly would (...and it may do so tomorrow morning). I also now understand the feelings of those who incur injury living life and pushing their own physical limits. There are no regrets. Just a sense of satisfaction at living life on their own terms, and a burning desire to get back out there and do better! (...maybe with a helmet next time!)

I just wanted to let all of you know that I may be rather quiet for a few days... I still can't see straight and typing this was a bit of a challenge; but I'm here and I'll be back very soon. I guess I'll also have to put off my own boot camp challenge for a week or so. However, I won't stop moving (unless I wake up tomorrow and am persuaded differently), and I'll be all set to go hard at it beginning next week! I'll also be waxing my cross-country skis... the landing is A LOT softer! :)

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}

P.S. GROAN! :) It's Monday morning, I'm still enthusiastic, and I'm still moving... slowly and wobbly, but moving. I'm sore, but not as much as I anticipated, and my balance and vision are still wonky... but I'm free of any 'trouble' symptoms, so it's going to be fine. I'll work on stretching and relaxing the overly strained muscles over the next few days, and I should be 'good to go' by the end of the week! I had a doctor tell me this a long time ago (all but forgotten until now): "You heal a weak and injured back by using it." ...and I thought he was nuts... I wanted HIM to heal my back. SILLY ME! :)

Back to the ER... still extremely dizzy, and I started throwing up! Moving is good, but feeling good isn't the best indicator of HOW MUCH one should move... and I felt REALLY good until late afternoon. It was all downhill from there. And, as the doctor so succinctly put it (this one was a lot more explanatory than the first!), MY BRAIN NEEDS TO REST. So, any activity that requires thought, is a no-no. "!!!!!!!!" I was born to think!!!!! And THIS doctor gave me something for the vertigo and it's helping... I actually couldn't 'rest' last night because every time I laid down, the room would twist and turn, and I'd throw up. Now I have to stop this thinking and typing and GO REST!

January 22/09:
It's almost three full weeks since I SMACKED my head... I no longer need the vertigo meds... I'm functioning well in the house as far as basic daily tasks go. I can sit down and stand up without getting dizzy, but I can't lie down, or bend over and then get up (or shake my head) without getting dizzy and losing my balance. SIGH. I figure since the back of my head is still tender, sore and puffy, so must be my brain. I am really FRUSTRATED and RESTLESS, and I feel my momentum ever so slowly trickling away. Reading and typing still tire me and give me a headache (though not as quickly), so I'm using these activities here on Spark to keep myself motivated and learning while I'm still side-lined. Turns out my lower back took a significant hit as well, so I'm 'icing' and doing physio-type exercises to reduce the discomfort, and to hopefully retain some strength.

The continuing 6-year plus saga of my SparkJourney:

I've Fallen and I STILL Cannot Get Back Up

I'm Mostly 'UP'... and I'm Focusing on CHANGE!

Just checking in...

My 'Inner Athlete' Met Magda!

You've GOT to be kidding!

A Goddess in Training! (...Stop laughing!)

I'm Better, But...



Dancing in the Rain

Let's Talk...

Singing a different tune... OR YES, I AM strong... but what does that have to do with anything?

It's baaack! (MRSA... round two)

The Divine Miss O: UPDATE... of sorts.

(HEALTH update BLOG) A picture is...

How far are you willing to go?

'Paleo... do you know what you're talking about?'

In Answer to Your Questions (Letter to Our Family Regarding Our Nutritional Plan: RESEARCH LINKS)

LIVIN' Mi Vida Loca!

True Story

SparkHeroes... and musings about my own journey...

Amazing how much things can change...

The Week That Redeemed My World (and my heart)

Amazing how much things can change...

The Week That Redeemed My World (and my heart)

No more Mrs. Doubtfire... or Picture UPDATE at nearly 100 lbs. ELIMINATED!

Leaving NORMAL

DONE Girl Love...

(the footsteps into which I place my own feet)

...and the journey continues!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KITTYF54
    I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Ramona. what a discouraging journey you've had. hope it's all behind you by now.
    25 days ago
    I have been considering skates ... but this teaches me a lesson ... my snowshoes keep me upright and if I do fall ... well ... it's on my butt in snow ... no damage to be done.

    Yikes ... I'm gonna keep reading ... I know this took a long time to get over ... and in fact you are still working on some of the issues ...

    2450 days ago
  • BIGDAD1211
    Oh man! Please take it easy my friend. I just met you and it would be fair for you leave now. Who else is going to make sure I stay on the narrow road? emoticon Please rest up and know that you are in my prayers. Talk to you when you feel better. Now go rest up.
    2835 days ago
    I have found that getting back on that horse even when pain is telling you otherwise is many times exactly what the Doctor ordered. with that said we have to be cautious not to worsen the injury by over doing it. I have a back injury from 8 or so years ago that has contributed to my weight gain and when it tells me that its time to sit it means it! but i do try and push through any small pain that it tosses at me and honestly it hurts not that often any more so I think dems is wise words about using your back to heal it (to a point lol) good post.

    As Ever
    2836 days ago
    Heal well, I'll take care when I take out my skates - Haven't used them in AGES! Same with cross-country skis, but they will also get used this winter. I am glad you're ok-ish and healing!
    2852 days ago
    WOW! Honey!!! See, this is why skates are evil - I broke my arm roller skating, and leg ice skating... and people wonder why I don't want to think about rollerblading!

    I'm so glad you're ok-ish and it stinks we don't bounce or bounce back as quick as we used to (Heh, remind me to tell you sometime about Norm's 'adventure' on a skateboard a year ago). But, as always, you have an amazing attitude towards it - lessons to be learned and all that. :)

    lots of gentle hugs and enjoy the recovery!
    2852 days ago
    I hope Monday morning leaves you feelings as you did yesterday, enthusiastic! No pain and easy movement.

    Hugs, Sonia
    2852 days ago
    Hi Ramona,
    I saw your blog post listed on the WATP Sisters In Sweat Blog list. Wow! Thanks for sharing your story and insight. I read your sparkpage and just wanted to tell you that you are amazing and inspiring! Thanks for shining your light!
    God Bless!
    2853 days ago
    Holy cow!!

    Heal up soon! And be sure to listen to your body. There's nothing wrong with movement,as long as it won't cause further injury!

    Take care!
    2853 days ago
  • TAMI1691
    skating , haven't done that for years. Hope you enjoy your active time with your family
    2853 days ago
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