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    RAYLINSTEPHENS   185,505
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This is who I am.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

This is who I am!

I blew up in the 4th grade at age 10 when my mother had to go back to work. But it wasn't her fault although everybody told her it was. It was my dad and sisters fault because all they cooked was spaghetti and garlic bread and I just couldn't keep up with all that starch. I had been very active but it just was never enough.

I don't blame anyone, I just feel badly that my mother carried the guilt for almost 20 years before I found out.

We were very close for all of my life and I was sorry to lose her 5 years ago but I have few regrets as we did spend a lot of time together before her passing. Before she was diagnosed with Diabetes (which I never did believe she had) we used to enjoy each other and would get ice cream sundaes now and again. We still had fun after that but quit the ice cream when we would go out together. I think we always felt we had lost something. Mama's passion was ice cream and it just became the thing to do when she needed a break from reality.

I wish I had found SparkPeople when she was still alive as we could have "sparked" together.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIVNFITNHAPPY 1/7/2009 10:50AM

    Linda, What a lovely sharing!

It has been my experience that as we release the weight, the emotions and experiences that were present when we put it on rise to the surface waiting to be released too. This time we are not stuffing them back down with food.

I have had struggles with weight all my life and thought that I finally had control over it until Oct. 2003 when my Mother passed. It had been an extremely challenging year with health issues of my own, forced retirement from my career of 30yrs., and beloved animals passing. Since I was out of work at the time, I spent every day with Mom. We played cards together and I took her to her doctor appointments. When she passed I comforted myself
with food again.

It has taken me all these years to work my way back. My Mom was a cheerleader for me all her life and I feel her presence daily. I know that your Mom is cheering for you too!!! She is your angel Spark Buddy!!!

Her guilt is gone and now yours is flying away too!

emoticon Janet

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_VALEO_ 1/3/2009 7:11PM

    You've made significant changes in your life and for that you must be proud. And I'm sure your mother was proud of you, and would have been proud of your weight lost.
Guilt is a burden we have to lost too. Glad you found time to communicate with her and ease her mind -over an ice cream ;)

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DINA:-) 1/3/2009 6:23PM

    your mom would be so proud of you, linda! you have worked so hard to become healthy.

emoticon

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LIFES*2*SHORT 1/3/2009 12:27PM

  Aw... it's nice to have that bond, isn't it? I wish you would have had SP then too! Hang in there.

N

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SUPREME5 1/3/2009 12:20PM

    MY MOTHER PASSED AWAY WHEN I WAS 19 OVER 20 YEARS AGO BUT SOMEDAYS IT SEEMS LIKE YEATERDAY I REMEMBER HER WITH FOND THOUGHTS SHE WAS MY BEST FRIEND
DORENE emoticon

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MARTY19 1/3/2009 9:57AM

    You have a point. You can't really blame anyone for the weight. Back then starch was cheap and filling so all families used it. Mine as well.
My mom died when I was 17 - never really had a chance to know her. I was my dad that I grew so close to. I still miss him.

Marty

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