I need hope. I'm losing grip.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
I know everyone has there own obstacles in life but I'm getting so peeved.
My Ex. gave me $50 for a bed for my son like that's going to buy him one.
Found out today that he took our engagement ring he promised to give me since I wanted to save it for our son and tore it to pieces to make a new one for his new GF.
He took the ring and spent $1,000 to make a new ring with the pieces from mine for her and $500 on a dress. But tells me he has no money for his own son.
After arguing with him all morning he finally agreed to let me order a dresser, nightstand, toy box and bookshelf online for our son, but now the credit card won't go threw since he never buys anything online. It finally went threw but he put the wrong address and had to cancel it. Now he wants me to order it but his credit card won't work again. I don't see why he can't just send me a check but he complains if he does he has no proof I'm spending it on my son. My son needs things I'm tired of feeling like he's being punished because his dad wants to be a deadbeat when he's mad at me. When he does help he gives the minimum effort he can then gets upset with me. We broke up 8 months ago and has sent me one check for $50 for the bed and $100 for cloths which he wants me to pay him back. Seriously is this to much to ask? My son has been sleeping in the bed with me. He's to big for this and deserves to have his own stuff.
I'm stuck again with my weight so it's getting on my nerves.
I'm unemployed and am broke. I worked from June - August and got fired and since I've been a stay at home mom for 4 years no one wants to give me a chance!
Mike is threatening if I go after child support he will take my son away from me. He takes care of his new GF's son but wants nothing to do with his own. Only wants him because he feels he shouldn't have to help me sense Anakin isn't with him.
I have a major headache from the stress and found all this out today and I just feel like I'm going crazy. Non stop yelling at my son (he's driving me crazy with his screaming and not listening but he's autistic I know I have to be patient but I'm in such a bad mood)
I can't stop crying all day knowing what Mike did to my ring since he knew how special it is to me. I'm just so frustrated with everything. I think I'm losing it and all I want to do is binge eat, and I know the minute I touch food there is no stopping me so I'm starving since I haven't eaten anything.
He tells me he loves me when he's argueing with her and wants to fix things with me but when she's around does nothing but yell at me and makes me cry or wants nothing to do with me.
I feel like such a loser because I couldn't even afford to buy my son a single present but my family is helping and each bought him presents since they know I am struggling.
PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME HOPE!!! Just a little that's all I need.
Member Comments About This Blog Post
So sorry for you and your son. Get in touch with your local welfare deprtment. They will go after him for support. Best of luck. Mary- Lisa's Mom 5/15/67-12/12/85
2827 days ago
Mmm.....start by kicking his ass. Seriously, there is a way you can do this with little money, but it may take some time and research. I am sure there is legal aid available to help you take his booty to court, which is what you should do, since he is not supporting his child whatsoever. That is not right, especially since you don't have a job (or didn't have one). Every father should want to make sure his child is doing okay, whether it be financially, emotionally, etc. And any money going to purchase things for your son shouldn't have to be paid back....that's ridiculous. What a creep. Does he get to see your son? Because if I was you, I would just stay away until all this is resolved. Sit back and let the courts take care of it. Then is he wants to see him, he can petition for visitation or something. Otherwise, forget it, since he seems to not care one way or the other.
It makes me angry that someone is treating you this way, and frustrated that I can't do anything except give you crappy advice. If you need to talk or vent, just send me an e-mail, k?
3029 days ago
Hon, I hate to say it, but men think with their "crotch", so that GF will get what she wants as long as she is taking care of what he's got.
YOU need to get a lawyer and get some child support, or have him in jail. That GF will hike down the road if he isn't bringing any money in for her and her kid. You are TOO nice.
At least go to see a Social Worker and find out your rights.
3048 days ago
Think'n about ya from North Carolina... and remember, tomorrow the sun WILL rise ;)
3049 days ago
You are a Done Girl right?
Be done with him. You got the far better end of the deal: a gorgeous little person, who while challenging, is the best thing to come of that relationship.
Have legal aid go over what you need to do to sue to child support, you won't be the first person they've seen in this situation, so maybe they can help guide you through it. I am a list person; I like writing out my goals and the steps to accomplish them.
You are the world to that little boy and you need to show him how to be strong and how to not give up.
Look to your family for love and support; this will also help your little guy see how a family is supposed to be. It is unfortunate that your ex is immature and cannot see the bigger picture, but be done with his behaviour.
You can do this. You have hope. You have faith. You have support online and off. You can fully do this.
3049 days ago
I'm sending all the cyberhope I can fit into this computer your direction.
I'm older than you but I recognize bits of your story as mine. I was madly in love with my (ex)husband when he walked in the door with a neck full of hickeys (I know, how classy) as his way of letting me know he'd been cheating. Turned out that was his 3rd time around and silly me hadn't figured it out before. I was left with two beautiful children ages 3 & 5, a pile of bills and a house I couldn't afford.
Jump ahead a couple years and the "practice spouse" as I now call him had fortunately dropped out of the picture after he begged me to come back and I finally grew a backbone and said never. He still attempted "Disneyland Dad" appearances but I blocked him at every turn. My own mental health and that of my boys was way, way too important for his game playing.
Fast forward ten years and it's now been at least 5 or 6 years since I've even heard from the practice spouse. During this time my boys are growing up happy and healthy, I've survived cancer and I'm happily planning my second wedding to my real hubby when the practice spouse decides to sue me for child support. Keep in mind he owes the boys about $70K at that point. The judge literally laughed at him and that was the last time I heard from him - except when my oldest son was killed in a traffic accident and his "father" called me for the sole purpose of telling me that it was all my fault somehow.
Some people just never get it and I have a sneaking suspicion that your ex is one of them. My advice is to cut your losses and find a local free legal clinic to get some advice. Most states have very specific criteria for how child custody is set up and his saying that he'll go for custody holds no weight. He's holding a mother's fear of losing her child over your head and then backing it up with the money issues. Start documenting his behavior and then do something about it.
Don't get too hung up on whether or not you bought your son a Christmas present this year. There are alot more Christmas' in his future. And honestly...do you remember what your parents got you for Christmas when you were 4?
You already have the most precious gift on this planet - your son - and he has you. The rest will work itself out.
Wishing you Peace...
Penny - Sean's Mom
3049 days ago
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