Saturday, December 20, 2008
I'm fat and have been fat since I was about 8-10 years of age. Ok, so I am not so fat anymore, but I am still fat. I have a mirror and I am not afraid to use it.
Mentally I accepted myself almost 20 years ago. I learned through OA that I am ok. My shell is XL but I am ok and worthy of being loved. I had a glorious 20 years of eating whatever I wanted and feeling free! I quit worrying about the scale and I can tell you the joys and pitfalls of overindulging in just about any food you can think of. Cans of chocolate covered nuts? I can tell you about it. I can even discriminate the different brands of chocolate! Would I give that up if I had the chance to do it all again? Heavens, I think not!
I am 57, was 56 when I came back to SP ready for a change. Why? Did I no longer accept myself? Again, heavens no! There was and is nothing wrong with me; there is just more of me. So why this sudden urge to drop this extra baggage? Drugs. Medicines. Prescriptions.
I am the youngest in my family (ok, brother is but he's a boy). Everyone else in the family is on some form of medication - most are on more than one prescription. I am on nothing! Nada! Zilch!! And I desire to keep it this way.
I woke up March 27, 2008 at my all-time high weight of 210. I tried the tricks I know to use to get below 200 again and nothing worked this time! Time to count calories. I remembered joining SP 2 years back and found I never quit - I just left. So this time I got with the program. It took time just learning how to change the weight from 205 to the 210 I now was, but learn I have. It still took me 2 months before I switched from my own log to the Nutrition Tracker and "let go and let SP" be in charge of me. The rest is history.
If I can do it, anyone can do it. If there is one thing I have learned in my life it is that I am "terribly average" when it comes to things like this. The only difference I can see is the level of commitment. Some folks just haven't reached this level yet but when they do, they will get with their programs too.