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    CARYNBRIT   18,048
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Caryns Guide to running....

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Part one: Preparation Don't go with the friend who throws water bottles at you if you manage to run more than 50 steps.

Part we go! Night 1

Warn the dog that instead of the usual 3 mile walk you will be going for a run. Put on 3 sports bras because mother nature doesnt need any help in making things go south. Set off at a nice brisk pace. Get to the corner and debate which tree is a good marking point for your first 'run'. Run to tree..check stopwatch to see that it says more than 30 seconds. If 31 seconds or more..pat self on back and walk slowly while waiting for your heart to check back to your chest. Get to main road that you have to cross.. Run across road. Collapse on other side. Continue walking. When breathing is normal and people arent stopping you to ask if you have ashtma..consider running again. After 10 minutes seriously consider running again. Tell legs you are going to run. Set watch..aim for one minute. Start running. After the longest minute EVER in the life of anyone..stop running. Tell dog to stop laughing at you. Continue walking. Get to the turn around point and start to walk back..vowing to get to the next street and run one block. Walk that block telling yourself the next block looks better.. continue in this theme until you are only one block away from home. See neighbour pulling out of drive and remember you told him you were running..start running in true althlete form. Wait for neighbour to drive past at incredibly slow rate. Wait for neighbour to pass the corner so you can stop. Stop! Sit down on pavement and put head in between knees as you are now hyperventilating. Tell dog to quit laughing again. Get up slowly and check watch. You ran an amazing 50 seconds. Pat self on back and go home. Manage to sit down on chair and remove shoes. Go inside and peel off clothes and get in the shower. Reward self with a little snack (ice cream.nuts. chocolate sauce) . You've earned it!

Part 3/ your second attempt at running.

Coming soon.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
ELFITZPA 12/11/2008 1:25PM

    THANK YOU for giving me a much needed chuckle!! Unfortunately it's eerily familiar, and it makes me think of each time I return to running after any considerable time off. Urgh!!

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LIBERTYGIRLFLA 12/11/2008 12:27PM

    Written like a professional humorist! Thanks for sharing.


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HISTOMOM 12/11/2008 11:40AM

    Absolutely HILARIOUS!!!! emoticon

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FLORIDAFLUTIST 12/11/2008 11:21AM

    Very funny, thank you!

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