Friday, December 05, 2008
My ticker has been standing still for a few months now. It mocks me, and it frustrates me seeing how close and yet so far I am from my Spark Goal. Why? Because I have gained a couple of pounds, but not for the reasons you might think... I haven't fallen off the wagon and I haven't let the holidays get to me. The reason I haven't changed my ticker, and the reason I haven't reached my goal, is because I'm growing a human being inside of me. :) I am VERY happy about this, but I'm just crazy enough to let it bother me that my "goal" is now in the opposite direction of my long-sought-after 150. Don't get me wrong, I am stoked about being pregnant and it was something we were actively pursuing, but I didn't expect it to happen so quickly, and to be more specific, I didn't think it would happen before I reached my weight goal. I KNOW that it's just a number, and that the sensible and intelligent thing to remember is that my goals really haven't changed at all. I want to live a healthy life, pregnant or not, and I want to make wise choices for myself AND my family. So why am I so frustrated to know that that blessed number is going to start going up again?
To remove ANY shades of doubt gentle reader, hear this: I LOVE being pregnant, I am blessed and privileged to get to bring another beautiful child into our family and I wouldn't trade this baby or this experience for ANYTHING in the world. But as with most miraculous things in life, it's not that simple. It is/will be a enormous challenge for me to balance the "job" of changing my life for the better with my new all-important "job" of being the best expectant mother I can be. I know that the two callings don't sound that far apart, but when high-levels of hormones are involved, things are never as clear-cut as they seem.
Rejoice with me and pray for me, that I will continue to choose the "better part" for myself, my baby, and my family. My health is more important now than ever, and forging a responsible lifestyle is a gift that I can give my children that will last a lifetime.