Tuesday, December 02, 2008
So I've finally rejoined the Y and couldn't be happier because of it. I've gone a few times already and have had the chance to work out a great deal. It feels awesome to go back and be excited about working out once more. I now remember what it felt like when I was joining the first time. Of course, with the previous joining I weighed a little more and was probably more anxious than excited really. But it didn't matter. Just like then I knew this was going to be something that was going to be good for me; not just physically but mentally too. After a work out I just feel so much better about myself. Even though I haven't changed in a appearance at all after one work out. I know I'm doing something good for my body, my mind, and my spirit. I know that what I'm doing will help make a difference not only in my life but in lives of others. I know that I'm altering my future. In a sense I'm conquering battles before they begin. Preventing disease and reducing my risks left and right. Plus, I'm feeling better about the way I look and well I'm sure self-confidence just adds to one's hotness. So as you can see I'm getting back in the swing of things. but......
I'm also struggling a bit too. Mainly with eating right. I think it would be easier if I had internet access 24/7 in my apartment that way I could plan my meal situation a little better. At least it seams like it would be easier, but internet costs money. Also I wouldn't go as far to say that I'm failing. I just haven't seen super fast results like I'm used to seeing, but I'm going to keep at this. I need this, especially now more than ever to keep me out of a funk. My boyfriend recently broke up with me and though I know it's not my fault, I still feel for him and get quite lonely. So working out helps me in a cathartic and therapeutic way. Plus it gets me out of the house, and i don't feel like I'm annoying my friends again about "that guy." It just really gives me time to reflect and work out aggression that I would otherwise bury away and never deal with sitting at home--in front of the TV or a book.
All in all I'm optimistic about my situation. I'm just taking one day at a time and focusing on me and how I can be my most authentic and best self. I don't ever want to go back to the person I was before and I now I just want to find out just exactly how awesome I can truly be.