Saturday, November 15, 2008
Sunday afternoon, I went to a wake to be supportive for several of my friends. A dear woman passed who had left her mark on a lot of people that I love and hold dear to my heart. I knew Monday would be chaos for me and I wouldn't be able to attend the funeral. I had a catering engagement that Monday night, but I planned to prepare some food for my friend's family too. My health has been a big issue for me and to be quite honest--- I never know from one day to the next what to expect. I have learned not to make plans-- to just do what I can do and hope for the best.
Saturday I had overexerted myself and my body was really calling me on it. I got up Sunday and against my body's agonizing pleas, I went to church, then out to eat with some friends and my parents. Afterward, I took me a quick nap before the wake. My head hurt, my body ached and my spirits were low, to say the very least. I took extra care in my make up. I figured I could maybe "fake" my way to looking presentable.
I know that I have been looking "rough" lately. I see myself everyday and usually more than anyone else does. My mom is wonderful but she is also truthful and she has told me how poorly I have been looking lately. My body seems to be a battle of extremes--- either I get a lot of sleep or none at all. Either I feel good or I hurt everywhere. There are no middle grounds with me.
Imagine my surprise and pleasure when I entered the viewing room and a man I have never EVER laid eyes on before, walks up to me and tell me "You are as pretty as a picture" he was quick to tell me he wasn't flirty and wasn't hitting on me, but that I was very pretty! You could have knocked me over with a feather. He then walked out of the room and I didn't see him anymore the rest of the night!
I told my mom about him and she asked if he was still there, she thought maybe she knew who he was or how he knew the family. I looked for him-- but he wasn't there. I playfully told my mom that he was an angel, sent just for me! Winning the lottery couldn't have been more beneficial to me! I walked on clouds for hours, even days later. Matter of fact, I still am!
It's amazing how something like that can change your whole outlook! I am not a troll, I know this but I have battles with myself all the time. I have tape recordings from my past that tell me all the time that no one will ever love me, that I am not attractive and that no one could ever be interested in me. To have a complete stranger, go out of his way to tell me I was pretty was music to my ears and medicine for my soul. It was just what I needed to hear and just when I needed it most! I still have no clue who this man was, but he was nothing short of a miracle for me!