Monday, November 03, 2008
I love the fall, for all it's color splendor. Bright sunny days that show off the leaves colors in all their glory and cool crisp fall nights good for cuddling up a with a good book or movie. However, this time change thing is playing with my emotions! (Well, now that I think about it, I always have trouble with emotional eating around this time of the year!)
Today was cool and gloomy, perfect weather for sulking, which is exactly what I did all day! Not working right now, which adds more gloom to my day since I am a major people person who thrives off interactions with others. Long story short, I was bored and down all day:(
So how did I deal with my emotions? I slept in and made excuses that I would get up soon to run an errand. I slept the morning away, awoke to eat lunch at around 1:00pm, a frozen Kashi meal, and sat in the recliner and played games on Facebook in desperation that there would be someone to talk to on line. No such luck. :( Watched Ellen and fell asleep near the end. Oprah came on and then it was another reason to delay getting out and running the errand, which by the way was to purchase some stationary for my resume. (Oh, by the way, I didn't sleep worth a crap last night. Awoke every hour on the hour fighting temptation to go down stairs and eat to get back to sleep. So I justified my sleeping in with that excuse.)
It seems I just can't get my work life together lately. I quit my job, during my orientation phase, because of nursing ethics and not to mention, all the BS with my co-workers. I worked with a group of ladies in an ambulatory surgery clinic were there was poor management and thus no structure. I am a very structured and organized worker who plays by the rules. When someone is orienting me to the job and I ask why something is done the way that it is, I'm not questioning their authority, I am trying to learn the reasoning behind the way things are done to associate. Not a good method of learning for the environment that I was in evidently.
For example, I was being oriented to recovery one day by my preceptor. She started the orientation with the equipment. Included in her orientation she made a big deal about how to make a stretcher bed. Taking at least 15 minutes on showing me the "proper way" of making the stretcher bed. Ok, I have been a nurse for over 6.5 years, I think I am pretty confident in making a bed whether it be a stretcher or not. I listened intently though, awaiting for some new revelation in bed making that would woo and wow me. The only thing different in the bed making was the way the sheet was laid on the bed, she doubled the sheet on one side and proceeded to make it as I or any other nurse would. So, not ever working in a surgery clinic and realizing that maybe there was a reason for the sheet to be doubled on one side, I asked what was the reasoning behind the method. I was told, "That's just the way we do it" and "Because the recovery room likes it that way". Really? You just spent fifteen minutes with me teaching me how to make a stretcher bed because that's the way YOU do it and the recovery room likes it that way?!?! What BS and a waste of time!! I could have had 5 beds made by now if there is no reasoning behind it, yet she made this big broadcast of stating that it was very important on how to make the stretcher bed "correctly". I'm sorry but I am not a follower who jumps off the cliff because someone else does. It really pisses me off to be given these excuses and makes me loose respect for the one orienting. How hard is to admit that you don't know the reason but will find out if it truly mattered or made a difference in patient care?? Why make a big deal of doing it one way only if you yourself don't know the reasoning behind the so called "rule". GEEZ!! How ignorant she looked in my eyes! I couldn't decide if she was just a control freak or really ignorant. Found out later she was both.
An example of the lack of structure and communication in the department follows;
Another nurse who had company seniority, would argue with my preceptor on the correct way of doing tasks. You see, my preceptor supposedly set up the clinic that I was working in from scratch and thus was the unannounced team leader, even though she worked per diem and the older nurse who had been with the company longer and worked full time was given no say in things, even though she was very knowledgeable and had been in various leadership roles before. (My preceptor acted and functioned like a manager, even though she did not have that title, thus she was very important to the real manager of the department. She kissed upper management butt so much it was sickening.) So when I was being oriented by the older, more experienced nurse, I was being given explanations on why things were done the way they were in the department in an organized manner. Yet, when my preceptor was there, she contradicted the other nurse's statements and thus caused havoc. It was like the left hand and right hand were not communicating and the poor body in between, me by the way, didn't know which way was up or down. I just knew enough to be safe with the patients and carry out basic care regardless of the paperwork and other small details. So, I managed on my own while they would argue it out on the correct way to do things. Geez, what control freaks!!! Give me a break, all I want is structure and reasoning. Is that too much to ask for in a job?!?! We needed a real manager and leadership, which we were not getting because the current manager of the department did not know squat about how to run the department and depended on my preceptor for EVERYTHING!! The manager was also the head of two other departments, and her plate ran over.
I had been on this new job for about two and half months when I realized that the environment was one that I could not adapt to or make it work for me. Especially when I was told by my preceptor to chart ALL patient respiration's as 16 unless they were in obvious distress during pre op check in. I couldn't believe my ears!! She stated that it helped them in consistently charting in the procedure room. What?!? Needless to say it went in one ear and out the other. Another incident that added to my decision to resign involved me assessing an elderly patient and noting that he was incompetent to sign his consent for the procedure, but my preceptor stepped in and had the patient sign because he had always signed before for his other procedures. Granted, she didn't assess him to notice the huge lump over his right eye that resulted from him falling the evening before and hitting his head on his lawn mower. Nor did she assess that he didn't know his own son's name!!! That was the final straw for me. I would not partake in that type of health care nor did I want to be associated with the facility.
Looking back, I saw all the tell tale signs, but wanted to give the department the benefit of the doubt because patient satisfaction seemed high. It should have dawned on me when I gave a suggestion to improve a process and my idea was immediately shot down without discussion, that this was not the right place for me. I was told that basically "that was the way we always did it and they were not changing". The real icing on the cake was when my so called manager told me I had her staff in a turmoil. That a newbie, does not come on board and make suggestions for improvement in their processes, no matter if it was a great idea or not. I needed to "serve my time". Ding, ding, ding...Major clue right there that I was not in the right place for me. Why oh why are nurses that way? Didn't we all take the same oath to protect and care for our patients? To be a patient advocate and give the highest personal quality care possible with out intentionally hurting the patient??? Geez, I knew I was amongst some lazy, ignorant people but these nurses eating their own?? I wanted no part of that and thus resigned. I tell you health care needs to get those rotten ass kissing apples out of the barrel in order to provide cost efficient quality care to patients. My preceptor was also one to sit around and milk the clock for every second. AGGH, writing about it just makes me madder! I wonder why I joined this work force.
Sorry, got off topic a little but it sure helped to get it out of my system!!! Maybe that was the real thing bothering me today and the gloomy weather just kept it in for me to subconsciously mull it over.