I wasn't sure if I was going to share our not, but I need to be accountable for ME so here it goes...
It FINALLY happened...Friday night I had a meltdown....like you all know I am always pushing...then pushing harder and harder....always reaching and shooting for that next goal...I want it all yesterday (don't we all...lol)
I had worked out Friday morning at the gym..65 minutes on the elliptical, arm weights and a walk and run on the treadmill....day was great, ate a little low and was a bit sluggish but was off to the pool....hum...I was all ready...
G@ and water by the side of the pool, goggles on....AND nothing...I just stood there staring at the water...I literally couldn't get in...I had NOTHING left...I was physically exhausted, emotionally beat up from the constant OCD of the #'s game (scale and food)....was just numb from it all.
So I got in the car and just cried...I called my daughter and just cried and cried..she came home from friends house and we talked...I let it all out....and so did she...UGH...I was worrying her and didn't even stop to notice...I had/have replaced my food addiction with exercise....the burn, the rush, the ME time, the feeling of accomplishment...LOVE IT....
It felt so good to talk about my fears....I am completely scared....scared to death (wakes me up out of a dead sleep some nights)....scared to gain it all back...scared to gain even 2-3 pounds...scared to the bone! I have done that many.many times before....so what makes this time any different, right?
So here I am...in the best shape of my life...and I am tired...so tired...I NEED to learn MODERATION...I NEED to learn it for everything in life...for the amount of exercise I do....the food and the scale....EVERYTHING...
So here is my plan...
~ I WILL be a role model for my daughter...first and foremost EVERYDAY
~ I WILL NOT weigh myself everyday
~ I WILL do 1 high intensity work out day...1 lower day
~ I WILL add more protein and fat to food intake to better fuel the active lifestyle I love and am so accustomed to
~ I WILL take time to relax...EVERYDAY (been neglecting that to work out more)
~ I WILL find a happy balance for all the exercise I do each week
~ I WILL listen to my body more and not push for everything yesterday
~ I WILL be honest & accountable for it all
~ I WILL ask for help instead of trying to do it all myself
~ I WILL do things in MODERATION...(gosh I hate that word already)
OK....so now I need to ask a favor of all of you....Can you please hold me accountable? Make sure that I am living up to my deal?
Thank You...and as always Thanks for listening....