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Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I'm going to be traveling over the weekend and am presently frying all my circuits trying to get ready to leave. In the midst of the craziness, my brother sent me the following via e-mail. I had to stop and laugh. (especially since I "fit" into several of the mentioned categories!) Hope it brings some comic relief to your day as well.


In 2009 the government will start killing
all the mentally ill people.
I started crying when I thought of you.
Run little friend, run!


Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want,
stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and
your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully
and a little voice will tell You which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, hang up.
It doesn't matter which number you press,
nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep
or before the beep or after the beep.
But Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up.
Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down,
hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry.
You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons.
You'll just mess it up.

This coming week is National Mental Health Care week..
You can do your part by remembering to contact at least
one unstable person to show you care.

Have a great rest of the week, friends!


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
LUCRECE 10/7/2008 1:22PM

    very funny. i especially liked the low self esteem directive.

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THEGRACE2B 10/6/2008 10:29PM

    That was great! I copied and sent it on to some friends... the "Friday Funnies" a few days early! Thanks, I needed a good laugh!

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STARTSPARKING 10/5/2008 6:18AM

    I hope you are enjoying your weekend trip. Thanks for sharing such a hilarious piece! emoticon

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TRECECOOKS 10/4/2008 3:28PM

    I'm just curled up in a ball, howling with laughter!!

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PUPPYWHISPERS 10/1/2008 2:02PM

    I just dialed, and I didn't press any buttons because I'm blonde, but then the a voice in my head started whispering, "press 8, press 8, press 8" But another voice (this time female) said, "press 0, press 0, press 0." Then the voices began to argue.

What do you think that means?


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ROYALETBONE 10/1/2008 11:18AM

    Yup, I had to forward this one. Too funny.
The Mother Ship will be coming for me next Monday at 7pm!

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MOJO-REAL 9/30/2008 11:13PM

    I think I've seen this before but how would I know for sure....

Made me laugh so hard - I've sent it to everyone I know! I needed a good laugh this week and I think this is it!

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    Ha ha ha, that gave me a good laugh! I needed it. Thanks, my friend.
Hope all goes well with your travels.

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