Sunday, September 14, 2008
I have had multiple problems with the PC, No time, Exercise is to hard, Can't get on SP due to PC problems, Interuptions, and that old familiar twang.. I am tired of "dieting."
With all of these "reasons' I know why I eat..With every little problem I pick up food... When did I begin consulting food for an answer to every little deviation in my life.
Some would say and I would agree that this is an emotional eater problem. But, I am not sure I even have emotions. ..after all I consulted food and it took the place of love, hate, sad, glad, became my lover at night, my boss during the day, my family I didn't have.
Still, I got on the scales this morning and I haven't gained any weight back that I have previously lost but, for whatever reasons I continue to weigh he same as when I first joined SP so long ago. Well, I have lost 9 additional pounds. Perhaps I like myself way to much, Perhaps I need to start NOT liking the way I am ..my physical looks. Perhaps I should concentrate on the healthy aspect of losing weight. Perhaps, but if, I think to hard on it. I will consult "food".
I decided that when I have problems..whether it be pc problems or the a preceived problem I need to keep a handwritten journal. I am thinking that is what I need to do. Would this help. Some have said it does..Could writing my frustrations down be the answer. Well, I am going to give it a try. Its great to be back online be able to post, vent my feelings and thoughts. But, I am thinking it would be great to do so in a journal when I am not able to get online or those times I conjure up a problem.
I will see... I guess the first step was recognizing I was consulting food of any kind to solve my problems. What did it give me.. nothing but acid on the stomach, that hateful feeling that I had no control, and the wishful thinking of where I could be IF I had just followed my plan.
So, now for this day I will NOT consult food. I will be the boss and control the happenings. At least for this day. Tomorrow will be faced when it happens..