Sunday, September 07, 2008
The last two weeks I have been making changes to my life and deciding what works and what doesn't, what I really want, what I am willing to do for my wants, taking that personal inventory AND doing something about it.
When hubby and I moved up here part of the idea was to slow down the pace of life. I am a great work-alcoholic. I enjoy the hunt, doing all that I can to suceed, showing others that I am the kind of worker that my generation is not known for being. But at what expense? I let my children slip behind in the standings. I was reading an article on work habits versus life habits and the question was posed as to what is really important to oneself....and not just what we say is important, but what do one's actions say are important.
I say that my family is most important - but I spend the least amount of time with them. I say that I want to lose weight, but I won't dedicate time for me to get beyond the calorie counting. I say that I want to spend time with my animals - but I go to the barns less and less.
The rubber hits the road.
I quit my second job. I will cut back on things/services/stuff to make the budget work on less.
I have made a point of spending time with my children and husband these last two weeks.
I spent time with my animals - including one of goats as he was dieing.
This time - I dont feel guilty for not doing more of something else. This time, I could care less what others think of my paring back in things etc. This time I dont care to keep up with the Jone's let alone even know what the Jone's are doing. This time, I dont worry about apologizing for taking time for me.
This time I feel whole.
This time I feel like I am doing the right thing not just the acceptable thing.
This time I feel like a winner.
This time - I will succeed.
This time it is not just a change of diet but a change of life.
This time - the rubber hit the road.