Friday, August 22, 2008
Thanks, everyone, for your encouraging words & ideas about my obsessing. It's not that I'm actually hungry; I'm going higher than my calorie range pretty much every day (where it looks as if I have not gone over, usually it's just that I quit tracking when I saw that I would be over). It's something in my head. Or it could be that hormones are making me feel weird.
I have not been cutting back much on sweets either, even though I did bring low-fat cottage cheese to the office this week & have had 0.5 cup of it every afternoon. Sigh.
Some clothes I ordered arrived a couple of days ago, & last night I tried on the two jackets. Both are too small! They are size 10T; I'm going to have to exchange them for 12Ts. I know fit varies with clothing style/cut, but it's a bit demoralizing. I don't look like a size 10 in the mirror either.
On top of all of this, my husband is mad at me about a really minor thing. I don't seem to be able to reason with him about it. We are supposed to work on some bookkeeping stuff together tonight, but since he hasn't chatted with me all day I'm sure he isn't planning on it--but he'll say it's my fault we had to postpone it. I hate those vicious cycles.
A list of good things to make me feel better:
1. I went running this morning & continued experimenting with intervals.
2. I am rereading To Kill a Mockingbird & loving it even more than the previous times I'd read it.
3. This week I wrote a poem (about a rainstorm in Colombia) that I'm really happy with.
4. The break in my freelance project is continuing, & I was starting to get a bit worried about cash flow; but the project coordinator just wrote to propose that I take on another editing project for this church, which would be sent to me in short segments. That will really help!
I wonder whether I should keep the 10T clothes & use them as further motivation to lose weight. They are fall clothes, so I wouldn't be wearing them till later anyway.