Rough day

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Well, I was doing pretty well being consistent. Today, I just fell off track. Not completely a bad thing. It happens. I'm just exhausted today. Couldn't sleep well. I'm not going to beat myself up over it, just try to figure out why I couldn't be motivated at all today, not even to drink water.

My daughter decided that last night was a night she HAD to sleep in my bed. emoticon Pretty much screwed up my sleep for the night. She goes through these nights every once in a great while where she has to sleep with me. You never know what the cause is, when it's going to happen and she's not willing to tell me why. But it really messes me up. Then, of course, we had to be at both services of church this morning which meant getting up early and not getting home until 12:30. All I want to do is sleep in tomorrow.

Unfortunately, that can't happen. Son gets up at 6:45 to get ready for football practice. I get up with him (for one to make sure he's up - can't stop worrying that he won't). I want to ride tomorrow morning, anyway. I just honestly don't know if I'll have the energy to do it.

Maybe my calories are too low. I'm trying to hover between 1200 to 1300 and still put in 60-90 minutes on my bike at a good clip (15 mph). I usually average around 10-16 miles. I love to ride, it's my favorite exercise. I just couldn't today, although I really wanted to do it.

Another thing I've thought about is maybe I'm pushing too hard and not really letting myself rest enough. I walk at least 30-40 minutes on days I don't ride. It's a way to get some weightbearing exercise in that cycling doesn't do. I put in 425 minutes last week alone.

I think I'm pretty stressed out, too. So much to worry about, including the job hunt, which is going nowhere. Maybe part of my problem is that I'm not making my exercise time simply ME time. I try to have my daughter walk with me, or ride with a friend of the family and the kids. Always someone around. Maybe it just needs to be me, by myself, not obssessing about everything that isn't working in my life. Like not having a job. With school starting, not sure whether I qualify for unemployment extension (ends in Sept.) and the lease on my car ending in November, I'm just completely beyond stressed. emoticon

I need to look at exercise as relaxation and that relaxing is going to be a better contributor to getting everything on track, including a job. My neighbor is extremely devout and she keeps telling my to be patient, that God won't let me down. But I'll. be honest, I just don't think God is listening. He seems to have a lot more important things to do than worry about me getting a job. OK, enough religious pondering, don't want to go off on the religious deep end.

Well, enough for tonight. Maybe tomorrow will be better.
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