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    SAVINARED   69,591
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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Hiya everyone,
I have not been here for a while for which I apologize.
I have been on an eating roller coaster and since first joining spark over a year ago I have been feeling less than motivated and angry with myself and in all sorts of denial that "I could get back to it whenever I wanted"(kind of the reverse of when I quit smoking way back when LOL). I have never really admitted before when I have had failures. I mean other than the "having a bad week but will pull myself up" type posts. I think that is why I haven't been posting, because I would then have to admit that I have been doing so poorly. I have been walking a lot and riding the bike but I know that this is not enough(no matter what I tell myself). The food and stepping up the heart rate are really needed now.
I still don't like admitting that I have messed up, but I don't think I can move forward until I hold myself accountable again. I really want to get back to that place where I was when I was really "sparking" , I want the energy back and the self esteem , and all that came with feeling better.
So what now? well here I am and I am going to give this my best or better. I will cut and paste this to all my teams as well as my page, I will start over in stage1 I will start the c25k again from at least week 3. I will post and track.

Thanks for that I needed it!
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