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    MALISANOY  
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Where life has taken me... lately


Sunday, August 03, 2008


I have been absent for some time now and feeling closer to being ready to come back. Its not quite there yet, but I'm getting closer.

Most of my friends on SP know that my Daddy was very ill with cancer and that I was spending as much time with him as I could. GOD allowed me to spend some very special time with him before he took him home. My Dad's battle with cancer ended almost one week after my son turned 1. He had acquired another terrible infection and doctors ignored our concerns with symptoms we verbalized. The infection was so bad, doctors gave him 2 months and it wasn't 3 days. The infection took his life, and not the cancer that had been in his lungs, liver, bronchial, and brain. He beat the cancer!!!He fought a long, hard battle!! He will forever be my inspiration and HERO. He went to be with GOD exactly the way he wanted. He was home, family around, BBQing going on and the laughter of all our children. Just before he left to be with GOD, he puckered up his lips for a final kiss with my mom. He took two breaths and was gone. I wasn't able to be there for his final breath. I was only 10 blocks away and driving like a maniac. I had been fighting with DH the night before. I will not go into detail. I will tell you this: if you are fighting with a loved one who has an addiction--- the addiction usually wins.
A day after my Dad passed, my niece went spastic---biting, kicking, throwing metal horseshoes, rocks and a 25lb wooden lawn chair. I was bit over 7 times and it resulted in her being placed into another foster home and then another and another until she was just placed into yet another treatment facility for her emotional and physical disturbances. Talk about STRESSED OUT!!!! Then I turned around and got a Urinary Tract Infection that spread to my kidneys. OUCH!!!
Today 8/3/08 I am at my moms house, separated from my DH and helping nurse my mom back to health after having a kidney stone removed the size of a golf ball....It just keeps getting better these days. LOL
I firmly believe that the separation with DH is going to result in Dissolution of Marriage. My Dad told me, before he passed, that "You cant fight a bottle". He had a lot of love for DH and DH continued on this path of destruction. I WILL NOT!!! I am stronger and I will overcome this lifestyle that has consumed me into depression.

I miss my Dad, and I will never forget him. I love him with all of my heart and will miss him and mourn him forever. The time I had with him was not enough, but will be cherished for the remainder of my life.
Rest peacefully Daddy 02/05/55-6/23/08
I LOVE YOU!!!

For all of my SP friends: I miss you and love you! I will be back, I promise. DONT GIVE UP ON ME!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
WHYMZECAL 8/14/2008 9:19AM

    Oh sweetie, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I've been away for a while as well. I'm sorry that you are going through so much. You are SO strong. You are NEVER alone. We'll be here when you are ready.

I'm making my way back too...

Big hugs beautiful!

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KANANIPOD 8/9/2008 12:45AM

    We'll never give up on you!! Know that there's a bunch of us praying for you and that each time you look up to the heavens your dad's blowing you a kiss.

emoticon

Me ke aloha pumehana (with my warmest aloha)
Jenny

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GLITTER9 8/4/2008 9:27AM

    You are a Sensationally strong person and I commend you for your strength ( not that you need it from me but you got it girl!) . I wish you the best of prayers and sooo many hugs! I am here if you need a friend! LOL, Julie

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KERIBELLE 8/4/2008 1:39AM

    Honey we would never give up on you! You will find your way through these times and be stronger for it. God never deals you a hand you can't handle.

Keri : )

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CATHERINEKIRBY 8/3/2008 7:12PM

    As a wife to an addict that stopped drinking over 15 years ago, I so understand. Your dad's parting words were true, you will never win the bottle, but for me, my hubby chose to live without the bottle without any ultimatim from me, or dramatic leaving--- even thou it wouldn't have lasted without his choice.

Some people can make that choice to change, just as many of us here on sparks are doing the same with food. BUT--- you will not be the reason he changes, you may be the incentive, but you do not want to ever be the reason.

You were so blessed to have your dad and use his wisdom and love to get you through the next journey in your life. Hold on, this to shall pass.

Call on me if you need... been there, done that... just happily my hubby and best friend made his choices to allow me to be in his life so many years ago.

Catherine

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