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I hate this

Friday, August 01, 2008

OK I know when I have hit my limit for walking. A small voice in the back of my head told me to get a wheelchair when we got to the zoo today. But I wanted to get my excersie in, so I walked. I took my cane and and was ready to burn off the calories!! (we walk around the zoo in a circle from right to left.) Yea by the time I got to the back right corner of the zoo I was in pain. By the time we got to the far left I was in LOTS of pain. So we made it towards the exit and I was walking super super slow. I left the stuff home to help with my pain, of course, but I didn't want to ruin it for my kids. It was a 30 min drive home so the time off my feet helped. I used the stuff I have for pain and went on with my day. Now it has all caught up with me. I am tired from the walk but am in so much pain I can't sleep. At 32 I shouldn't need a wheelchair just to take my kids to the zoo!!! I am just so angry that I am this way. The fact that I can't have a fun day with my kids without hurting so bad I can't sleep upsets me. I know all to well that there are plenty of other people out there in more pain than I am in. I don't want to offend them in anyway. It just upsets me that I was just doing my job, a job that I loved, and now not only am I missing out on life my kids are missing out on a parent that can do things and take them places. My son has no memories of me not being injured. I was hurt when he was little so he only knows me as someone that needs help doing a lot of simple tasks. I couldn't teach him how to ride a bike because I couldn't run along side him. I can't play soccer with him. I am the one that is supposed to take care of my kids. Not them taking care of me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I know exactly how you feel. In June I went on a cruise and my feet swelled up so bad I really didn't enjoy myself and my friends who were with me. They felt so bad about it and then I was guilty. I couldn't carry my child upstairs to go to bed or take a bath. Then I joined spark people. This is where all of that can be changed. Just take it one meal at a time. DRINK alot of water. It is bound to make you feel better. emoticon
    3007 days ago
    I understand what you are going through but you need to stop looking at this in a negative light and start looking at the positives.
    First and far most YOU DID IT emoticon you walked the zoo knowing that it was going to be a lot of work. Then you went home took some pain meds and did more. Your children had fun and your son is see how you want to be there for him. You are changing.
    3008 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    3008 days ago
  • LUKESMOM1220
    I'm sorry to hear about your pain and frustration. Just remember that there is more to parenting than the physical stuff, and you have so much to offer. Think about the lessons you are teaching your kids without even trying: perseverance, persistance, hope, compassion, etc... You are more than your physical limitation.
    3008 days ago
  • LM1272
    I'm sorry that it has to be that way. From the kids perspective, me and my brothers had to take care of my mom too. Though some times hard, I appreciate and respect my mother. It made me a stronger and more responsible person that I am today. I don't know if that helps any.
    3008 days ago
    No apologies necessary. I know I get ticked off when my I feel good and I think I can make it, and really I can't- I go through pretty much what you faced today. I do that a lot. On "good" days I push myself way beyond my limit, then the next day I end up almost in bed all day. Believe me, you're not alone. I just joined a group here for chronic pain suffers. Also one for chronic depression. Actually mine goes hand in hand.

    Here's big hugs for you!
    3008 days ago
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