Wednesday, July 16, 2008
So I run across this book called "Eating, Drinking, Overthinking: the Toxic Triangle of Food, Alcohol and Depression and How Women can Overcome..." and something in me just CLICKED....
I think I have been OVERTHINKING all my food/body/weight issues to death. I mean, we are all intelligent people, but do we over-analyze and try to FIGURE things out too much? Talk them to death? Live w/ them every day hoping for a breakthrough thought to come "save" us ... finally?
Maybe we should focus on JUST BEING. Be present in each moment. Not judgmental. Not analytical. Just be the beautiful hearts that we are. And watch. And wait. And marvel at the awe of what we see, feel, hear. The book "eat, pray, love" (one of my favorite books of all time) picks up on this exact same thing.
I truly believe that the harder YOU try to FIND something, the more elusive it becomes. Leave it to your "higher power" (as they say in Overeaters Anonymous) and let it come to you.
You know...all is pretty darn RIGHT in my world. I want to be more grateful for who I am, what I am (imperfect yes but still awesome) and yes what I look like. It could be much much worse. My children could be chronically ill; I could be addicted to drugs or alcohol; my parents could be dying. Much of the stress in my life is caused by MY anxiety and MY overthinking. No one has the power to stop that but ME.
By FOCUSING on weight loss, body image, what I eat or don't eat and the surrounding guilt/shame, clothes size, comparing the size of my ass w/ everyone else's....aren't I setting myself up to obsess about just those exact things? How bout we get our minds off of them and focus on ANYTHING ELSE, EVERYTHING ELSE! I find that the less I think about my weight (and thoughts about my weight come w/ negative self-talk and beating myself up)...
For me, I find that the the LESS I THINK/OBSESS about that stuff, THE LESS I EAT! and of course then the LESS I WEIGH. Mind you, I will always have to be "vigilant" when it comes to what I put in my mouth and getting myself to the gym, but I don't need to ruminate and overthink it either; I find that hurtful rather than helpful.
I'm making a pact to get focused on all of the OTHER STUFF that makes stirs my juices, makes me joyful, and brings me no shame or guilt: for me, its art, jewelry, beads, glass, photography and creativity. I've pushed this to the back burner for most of my adult life. I'm re-discovering the little things that make me happy and I'm NOT ignoring them anymore: scented lotions; going to the library to look at magazines and books for free; keeping my bills organized; listening to classic rock on my iPod while I do the dishes...
Don't push what makes you happy down and smother it inside yourself...get it out, let it breathe, take it for a walk, show it a good time. Ten bucks says your obsessions with negative things (food, self-hate) will fall away fast.
All of this is biblical-based, which is where I ran across it last year; in all my "Battlefield of the Mind' readings (truth: we are our own worst enemies). The Bible tells us to "cast down and refute arguments and theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God; and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ. (II Corinthians 10). " I have to stop letting my mind take me on little guilt trips because nothing my mind tells me during those trips is true; its all LIES designed to keep me down, keep me away from Christ and His Perfect Love. I also think "theories and reasonings and every proud and lofty thing" means any faith I put in my own self and my own thoughts that I think can solve my own problems...we're supposed to put 100% of our trust in Christ and what he's taught is true: i.e., he loves us exactly as we are, he's coming back for us, we're forgiven, etc. Again this is reinforced w/ Overeaters Anonymous 12 Steps, except they call it turning everything over to your "higher power" because you finally admit you are helpless to overcome the eating addiction alone. And "eat, pray, love" is more about getting in touch w/ the positive power within yourself but to clear your mind, stop thinking and just start living and being.
So TO SUM IT ALL UP, MY FRIENDS, I OFFER THIS :
Let's get the focus off of how depressed we're feeling, how much we ate today, how disappointed we are with such and such, how much so-and-so is driving us crazy ---
Let's each find some thing that really excited us and gives us joy and LETS FOCUS THERE most all of the time!
Wouldn't this world be an awesome place if we were all HAPPY?!