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    CAROLANN59  
SparkPoints
 
 
06/23/08

Monday, June 23, 2008

I am starting all over...day 1. I am determined to be successful. I just came home from my niece's wedding. I am very inspired by what she has accomplished. She has had tough times..gained weight, drinking problem. she is 27 y rs old and has put it all together...a wonderful husband (who she has been dating since college), and a job she loves. And she lost weight and ran a 9 mile race in cincinnati.

I can do this. I am almost 60 yrs old and am not going to be a "glamor girl" again but I can try to do my best with the time I have left in this world.
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MOV4WARD 6/26/2008 2:11AM

    {{{carolann}}} it's ok to start fresh ~ we get to do that each day, each meal, each snack! And eventually, through the struggle, it will ease and we'll find balance, just like we've done with other past struggles!

emoticon btw, congratulations on the quit smoking & the quit drinking!

I also had to quit smoking ~ i'd been trying since 1983, 2 or 3 serious attempts each year and after 3 hours, 3 days, 3 weeks, when something happened or stress hit or I found it too hard, I'd throw down the towel and smoke my brains out again... until i'd get the wild hair and courage to quit again.

I had to unravel smoking from almost everything I did ~ get up & smoke, b4 & after all meals & breaks at work, to & from work, talking on the phone with friends, over drinks... well, i'm sure you get the idea, eh?

and... eventually I relearned how to do it all without sickerettes! Sometimes, at 2 1/2 years later (almost on 6/30), i still get a whammo urge, especially when it's super stressful or i unexpectedly run into someone smoking..... but it passes.

the thing with bingeing is we can't quit cold turkey. We still have to keep eating ~ but we actually have to relearn our eating...

relearn how to eat appropriately ~ keep the good reasons, times, ways, what we eat...

replace the inappropriate eating (over-eating/undereating, wrong reasons, bingeing, emotional eating, tired eating, etc) with better.... and that will take time and practice...

and for me, it's turning out to be harder even than quitting smoking, and it's taking longer... but i think it's because it's so complex ~ part physical/genetics/hormones but also social attitudes that go way back to early childhood for me, advertising that makes me drool... a "love2eat, don't wanna quit" feeling/rebellion where I need to get my heart to understand and feel what my brain already knows... that diving into food and bingeing hurts me...

:::sigh:::

the very good news is that as we keep doing this, the time between binges get longer, the binges get shorter, the reasons we dive into binges gets to be less and less, other ideas and distraction alternatives begin to work... our habits and our preferences begin to change.

and some of it may not ever go completely away because food is such a huge part of our lives, but this really can and will get better!

methinks u really rock! u have already beat a lot of "addictive" habits ~ methinks u will get much better at this too.

emoticon have patience with yourself, be gentle & don't beat yourself up! think of an athlete who's trying to learn a new dive ~ they look at the oops, try to figure how to do better next time, and keep practicing until they get it!

& u will too :)

cheers, jules :)



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