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    PLAYFULLKITTY   125,860
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A Note To Dad On Fathers Day-Triggering

Sunday, June 15, 2008

As much as i have tried to avoid this day...even make light of the day... the fact is...it's fathers day... the reminders are every where... even in my own little world where i tried to block it out... when i'm upset-i clean... plain and simple... i do my best work when i am either mad or upset... this weekend being no different...i wanted to work through this... and then last night i was cleaning out some files that were years old... and found the receipt to the graves... today i am reminded he's not here... the kids are going over to see their father...and i... might go visit the grave...he's not there...i know this... he's here with me.... he in fact reminded me of this just a few minutes ago... i have piles of papers to sort through... and only me here... no breezes... no nothing... and they fell... some of you may think i nuts...but... as tears came to my eyes.... and my heart twists... i know it was dad saying in his own way that he was right here with me... i laughed...yes...even through the tears... and told him i'm sorry, but i still missed him (he never could stand to see me cry) so... here is my note to him...

Dad, i know you don't like to see your baby girl cry... and i try to be strong as you had taught me to be...but as i sit here, i can't help but still miss you... i am glad that you are finally out of pain...that you finally get to rest... you with your heavenly father...but even that doesn't stop my missing you.... from the moment you laid eyes on me, so it has been told, i was your little girl... i remember our fishing trips...you know, the ones where i was in ruffles and lace, dressed by mom, with warnings not to let me get dirty... and everytime... you got in trouble, cause in fact i was filthy, from head to toe... i remember you teaching me to dance... i never could do the twist quite as well as you...but the music never stopped... and even during our rough times... the laughter that followed... i remember no guy was ever good enough for me..in fact dad...i knew that already... no boy could of ever measured up to you dad... i just wanted what you and mom had... a love that was always and will always be like a fairy tale to me... i rememeber you always being there...even during my teenage years when i didn't want you there... you never gave up on me...even when i gave up on myself.... i still remember the day you found out i didn't have enough food to feed myself and hadn't ate for days...how mad you got cause i didn't just ask... yea... i knew you would be there...but i didn't want to be a burden....i also remember the lesson in that... it wasn't a burden...it was me still needing daddy... dad...i know your're proud of the way i took charge of the way i've changed directions with my kds...i know you like the place i live... you can thank our dear friend for finding it... i know, if you were alive, that it would hurt you to see me struggling though...and you would be there with money, or even a place to come back to.... but dad... it was also time for me to grow up... i needed to learn to take care of us... yea..it's been hard...but dad... you taught me to face each day with humor...and keep on keeping on.... so yea dad.... even through my tears...through the pain of missing you... i do see you in everything...i do hear your voice.... and yea...i can still laugh at things that i know came from you...like papers falling for no reason....dad... i miss you... and i love you...i just wish i could thank you for all that you had and still continue to teach me....

My Little Girl by Tim McGraw: www.youtube.com/watch?v=
9I5UV4VWCSk
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILDCARD1 6/16/2008 11:14PM

    awww Kitty, what a beautiful tribute to your father!

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NM_JAN 6/16/2008 8:16AM

    What a beautiful tribute to your Father.

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FROGSTYR 6/15/2008 10:44PM

    Sending you extra hugs on this day. I know that it's a tough day for you. I love the note to your Dad. You can tell that the two of you had a deep and abiding love for each other. You were very blessed to have a wonderful dad like that. Not everyone gets to have that close relationship. And that makes it all the tougher when they are gone, because those of us so blessed know just how precious that relationship is.

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KYLIEMC8 6/15/2008 5:22PM

    Bless your heart! And I love the song too! Hugs

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