Monday, May 19, 2008
So i had my first appointment with the dietician. We logged onto Sparkpeople to look at my food log and she was not pleased with what I've been eating. Way to many calories and way to many carbs.
She said that my maximum amount of calories to lose weight is about 1630. That number scared the heck out of me. 1600 calories did not seem like enough food at all. I started feeling panicky and felt the anxiety creeping up. I left there feeling like i had an impossible task ahead of me. This past weekend I kept eating like i was and didn't even count calories or spark at all. I was feeling like a defiant 5 year old. 1600 calories? She must be crazy. I'll show her. So I ate and I ate and i ate. I didn't binge exactly but i definitely over ate. And no, i didn't show her. I just let myself down and felt bloated and gross.
Finally late last night I realized that I can't just give up even before I try. I can't just lay down and die. I have to fight for what i want. So at 11 pm i went to the grocery store and bought healthy food. Lots of fruits and veggies and lean meats. Then I went to sparkpeople and formulated a plan. I played around with different menus until i got my calorie range within 1600. I made sure i was eating every 3-4 hours and because fruits and veggies are low in calories i can eat more. Seeing it on the food tracker made me realize that it was plenty of food and i can do this.
I also talked to my boyfriend and told him how worried i was about keeping to 1600 calories during the weekend. We decided that we would eat at home more often. That way i can control the calories and fat and it would also save us money. Plus I must admit that i want him to have better eating habits too. At one point this weekend he drank one liter Dr. Pepper and used a twizler as a straw.
Today I was a little worried that i would be hungry and turn to fast food but low and behold, i was not hungry at all. I ate plenty of food and felt satisfied most of the day. So far so good. This seems so much more doable then last week. All I need was a plan of attack.
I also promised my friend i would go for a walk with her tonight to get some exercise in and then of course there's my softball game so today I will definitely get in my workout and it will feel good to log in some exercise since it's been quite awhile.
I'm feeling good and confident right now. I love logging on here and looking at other peoples pages and blogs. I feel like i'm not alone. Someone out there in the great big world is going through the exact same thing as me. If they can do it so can I.