Sunday, May 11, 2008
Someone said something to me the other day that started me thinking about my weight loss efforts, etc.
I was at the acupuncturist getting a much needed treatment for my migraines. I'd been faithfully going for some months then gradually petered out and stopped. I finally found myself going again, only because I spent two days in bed and off work.
So there I was laying face down on his table trying to explain why I hadn't been in for my maintenance visits....
"I've just been SOOOOOO busy with work and everything going on...... "
"Are you sure that's why?" he asks
"What do you mean?"
"Are you sure it's because you're too busy? or is it because you don't think you're worth it?"
"No no I'm worth it. I'm just too busy"
"Hmmmm..... okay maybe."
At first I didn't give much stock to his words but yesterday I began wondering about how close to the truth he really was. Not just about my treatments but also about my weight loss efforts (or lack thereof lately).
I think I REALLY need to stop and ask myself............... "Am I worth the effort?" Do I deep down, below the surface, really feel that I deserve to be at a healthy weight.
I often talk about comfort zones. My past has taught me that a 'comfort zone' doesn't have to be a good place but it is always a place where we know how to act and respond to those around us. Breaking out of a comfort zone isn't easy but it's often for our own good.
I've come to realize that I am in a comfort zone. I've been obese for 20 years and I know who to act the part. I know how people will treat me and I've come to accept it and in some warped way expect it or deserve it. But the bigger question I'm realizing isn't whether or not I need to get out of this comfort zone...... but do I deserve to be someplace else, rather than here?
Am I worth it?