I won't give up
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Ok, I know I have been away for a while, and honestly I’m not sure why. At first I stopped coming onto SP because I started writing down what I eat instead of putting it into the computer. I liked this better because it was always there in my hand. I just liked it better. I also think I stopped coming on because my search for a weight loss buddy has failed. I had a few, then they would trail away, I try to email but get no response. I can’t blame them, how can I expect them to do what I can’t; stay motivated. I was doing really well for a while too. My weight hasn’t changed at all. It seems permanently stuck on 157; wait that’s not true, my weight will gladly increase. I was working out 3-6 days a week, and my eating improved (it wasn’t fantastic, but better). And now my last entry in my food journal was a week ago and I took a 7 day work out vacation. I also have been relaxed in my eating and I binged yesterday after work on a bag of Combos and M&Ms. I did work out when I got home, mostly because I didn’t want to feel like a blimp for the rest of the night.
Now, 2 days before my cruise vacation and I couldn’t keep my weight loss efforts long enough to see some difference in my body. I didn’t care if the scale moved, just that I fit into my clothes better. A part of me wants to blame everyone and everything else for my failings, but I know better. I know that if I truly wanted to lose weight I would. I know that if I really tried, I put 110% into my goals I would do it. But then I ask the question, why haven’t I? I want this so bad it hurts, but I just can’t seem to make the changes.
So what propertied me to start on my blog on SP again? That email that was sent out about those 5% of people who lose weight and keep it off. I realized that there are things on that list that I don’t do, and one is I feel a lack of support. I don’t feel accountable. I have said this from the start, I need a buddy. So I am going try again and search for a weight loss buddy to keep me accountable. To email me everyday and we can help each other in our weight loss goals.
So here I go…… again.