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    SJS963   472
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Fear


Saturday, April 26, 2008

I've been thinking about this for a while. I don't know how to be a healthy weight. I KNOW how to be fat, I KNOW how to be obese. Being a healthy weight is like visiting a foreign country without a passport and not understanding one word of the language. I'm scared. After 2 months, I am feeling better in my own skin. Many of my clothes are too big. I have more stamina and I sleep better. I am really hoping that sticking with SparkPeople will teach me how to be a healthy weight. How I'm supposed to act when I get there. Who I'm supposed to be when I get there. I try to visualize it, but nothing comes. NOTHING. I've tried using the
Virtual Model, and still can't see it. It doesn't look like anybody I know, much less like me. And how in the world am I going to afford all the new clothes. I know there are thrift stores, yard sales, consignment stores, etc., but they are all so time consuming. I really can't afford to lose weight, in terms of time or money, and yet it's what I'm striving for. I'm afraid I'm going to destroy my life by losing weight. But isn't that how you succeed in life? By facing your fear?
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
TAZZIE5 4/28/2008 1:44PM

    Your vision will come. Keep on the look out for it! Just when you least expect it is when your watch tower will start beaming a light on the matter. Stay alert during your waking hours, but be well rested & ready to get up & go when your time to move ahead comes.

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DOCHOMES 4/27/2008 9:01AM

    Looking from the Humorous side. The clothes should cost less, because they will be made with less yards of cloth. emoticon emoticon Seriously, I have clothes in my closet from High school, I need to start replace them and item at a time. I have the money, by I usually get mine at a flea market. Also, look at the money your saving by not smoking, and use that money to replace your old clothes. You can do it. There is an old saying, If you're too busy to take care of yourself, you are too busy!

Don

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HLTHAPPINESS4C 4/26/2008 1:46PM

    Look at the benefits you have gained thus far....better stamina, sleeping well, weight loss and learning healthy habits. You are doing this and it is not going to destroy you. It will help you to live a healthier, more productive life and it will build your self esteem back up. You already said you are feeling more comfortable in your skin. That is major progress!

About being fearful of becoming healthy weight and how to act and whatnot. You are you....You are special, unique, and you will be you no matter what weight you are. There is no right way to act or behave. The only thing to do is be yourself and practice your healthy habits you have learned.

I understand about the financial issue of it. I am having the opposite problem though. I have gained 40 lbs and nothing fits. I have little money to buy new clothes. I simply shop thrifty and buy a couple of things at a time. Maybe when you quit smoking, you can take the money and put it in a jar. It will add up and you can buy yourself something nice.

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You deserve happiness and I think you'll find it as you travel further into your journey.

Cynthia



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