Saturday, April 26, 2008
I've been thinking about this for a while. I don't know how to be a healthy weight. I KNOW how to be fat, I KNOW how to be obese. Being a healthy weight is like visiting a foreign country without a passport and not understanding one word of the language. I'm scared. After 2 months, I am feeling better in my own skin. Many of my clothes are too big. I have more stamina and I sleep better. I am really hoping that sticking with SparkPeople will teach me how to be a healthy weight. How I'm supposed to act when I get there. Who I'm supposed to be when I get there. I try to visualize it, but nothing comes. NOTHING. I've tried using the
Virtual Model, and still can't see it. It doesn't look like anybody I know, much less like me. And how in the world am I going to afford all the new clothes. I know there are thrift stores, yard sales, consignment stores, etc., but they are all so time consuming. I really can't afford to lose weight, in terms of time or money, and yet it's what I'm striving for. I'm afraid I'm going to destroy my life by losing weight. But isn't that how you succeed in life? By facing your fear?