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Nobody to blame but me...

Friday, April 18, 2008

The worst possible thing I could have done today was go into that d ressing room and try on clothes. Especially since I really thought ( maybe it was wishful thinking) that the shirts and pants I tried on were going to fit. Nope, they were still too tight. I just instantly felt like such a failure, and as I'm walking out of the store feeling sorry for myself I'm realizing that I really have noone else to blamebut myself. Have I really been giving it 100% of my efforts? If I'm being honest with myself then I have to answer no. Some days I'm really on and committed and enthusiastic and then other days I feel like " eh screw it" I don't know why I can't stay consistent, it frustrates me and makes me so sad to think that I am so weak of a person that I cannot accomplish this goal of losing this weight. I feel like I've dug deep and tried just about everything to keep myself motivated, but if I have then why am I not seeing success? Maybe I will never reach my goals until I can answer that question....but in the mean time, I just feel miserable...I can't stand the way I look and the way I feel, I have no confidence, no self esteem and I hate feeling this way...but alas, maybe I don't really hate it as much as I think I do because otherwise wouldn't I have found a way to reach my goals already?! I've only been trying for 10 years!! The one and only positive note on this blog is that despite my dissapointment and bad mood I did not turn to food today to make myself feel better....maybe that's why I'm so grouchy right now! Okay, I'm going to go and finish my pity party now - hopefully I can find a better attitude later on!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    after reading your post today I wanted to pass along something my coach has been telling me, keep in mind I'm making something very detailed into a few sentences here, but I think I can get the main idea across.

    Basically, your feelings are normal and typical of a high achiever type personality. (this is a good thing actually) But it makes you overly hard on yourself.
    The way around it is to focus on the ACTIVITY, not on the result. Don't try to change too much all at once. Focus on one or two changes you want to make and ONLY those two for about twelve weeks before you add something else. Like each day I'm going to drink 8 glasses of water and walk for 30 min. Then here's the best part. You reward yourself for doing the activity. If you do your walking and drink your water each day for a week you get a manicure on the weekend.

    You don't focus on the end result, just on doing what you committed to doing each day, and each day that you keep your contract with yourself is a day to celebrate success!

    There's a lot more to this but that is the main idea and has been the most powerful tool for me.

    Tomorrow is going to be a great day!
    3620 days ago
  • ME4CAM
    I hope things are better now !! ??
    I swear it's something in the air today. Today seems to be the worst day I have had since January.
    Hang in there !! Tomorrow will be brighter !!
    Lots of love,
    3620 days ago
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