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Who is this new me?


Thursday, April 17, 2008


This morning I went to a friend's blog and read about how she is recognising and dealing with the emotional aspects of the journey we are all on, and it got me to thinking.

I realize that I have been dealing with several issues...age and weight.

I sometimes feel that I have two emotional sides. One is the side that is proud of making it to this place in my life:

1) Almost 50 and still going strong

2) More independent and resourceful than ever.

3) Incredibly close and loving relationship with my husband.

4) Kids grown and doing well in their different paths.

5) Business owner with a second company that showed a profit from day one.

Her blog also made me realize that I am dealing with other issues that I tend to stuff down inside of me:

1) I am no longer the young girl that looks great in little sun dresses and I must watch what I wear in order not to look like that dreaded older woman trying to wear her daughter's clothes.

2) After 3 children and nursing for years, my stomach and breasts will never again look as they did when I was in my twenties.

3) And shock of all shocks, I look in the mirror and see an older woman! Grin. It seems, at times, that the person inside does not match the person outside.

So, where do I go from here?

I will continue to grow and embrace myself for who and what I am. I will try to realize that each age brings a new beauty, a graceful confident beauty.

We buy roses to watch them start from little buds to soon open up and reach full bloom with an incredible aroma.

As older women, we are opening up and exuding an intoxicating fragrance.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
GAYLLYNNE 4/26/2008 11:02AM

    Can I relate?? hahahah Of course! When I turned 50 I felt as if the world were going to collapse. My health was bad and I felt old. I couldn't even look in the mirror. It was awful. Between the hysterectomy and my husband leaving me there was no life....but, yes there was. After pulling myself up by the bootstraps I started to live again. I became more involved with my children (I had them late so they are still young) and now, with the help of sparkpeople I'm getting smaller and looking better. True, I want to be that 30 year old that was so hot everyone wanted to be with her LOL - but hey, I'm not. I have her inside of me screaming to get out!! Now, I have a wonderful boyfriend who tells me I'm beautiful all the time and that makes a huge difference. There is life after 50, we just have to remember to embrace it and live in and for the here and now. You are a perfect, beautiful example (although not quite 50 yet!)

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MCBETH45 4/21/2008 11:55AM

    Great blog-I feel the same way. Some days I look in the mirror and see all the yucky imperfections that have come with age. Sometimes I think, hey you look pretty good for 45! It's definitely been a struggle for me to age. Thanks for putting it into words and getting me to think about it. I try to remember how far I've come in my life and all the joys and accomplishments I have-I guess we've earned our lines and wrinkles & they've helped to make us the beautiful people we are!

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NAVYMOM133 4/17/2008 11:17AM

    What a wonderful blog! You know, that is really true. There ARE different sides to this journey, and the road doesn't end at the fountain of youth. Our skin, muscles, hair, everything is 40something, with a lot of living invested. I think you really raise something important questions for me - what *DO* I really expect to get out of this Sparkpeople journey to a healthier me? Do I have some false expectations that I am not even consciously aware of that may play a role in my level of success and gratification?
I just sent my youngest on his way into the Navy yesterday. My husband and I sat outside last night and talked for a while about how our lives are really going to be different without any kids around now. A whole new chapter in this Sparkpeople book that I'm absolutely ENGROSSED in!

Thanks so much for sharing! And I'm glad you've joined the 40-something team!! Welcome again.
Melly emoticon

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