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Exhausted & Still Struggling

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Only have a few minutes to blog, so I'm gonna make the most of it.

My life is CRAZY. I know everyone's is, but it seems like mine comes in tides. When I made the decision to eat clean, I also made the decision to cut out some of the craziness so that I could focus. That worked great - for a couple of months. But now it's "that time of year" and in the past 2 weeks I've had to (and need to continue to)...
1. taxes (Big project this year since the robery last year when we lost the laptop and all our tax info from last year. Thank HEAVENS I had hard copies.)
2. Define my job for next year... this continues and I'm even taking time out of a personal day to go in to work for a meeting on this.
3. Co-create the schedule for next year. Again - no easy task with 15 teachers teaching 3-5 classes each. Trying to make a.) the schedule WORK and b.) as many people happy as possible.
4. Log all my mentor hours with my truancy kids. Meet with each one (yeah, right) once a week. Call each of their parents once a week (yeah right). Get it all on paper.
5. Turn in my teacher mentoring hours. (Since I haven't kept track of this on the official log sheets on a week-by-week basis, I've got to go back to my calendar and fill it all in the appropriate forms.
6. Look up each and every senior for the 2008-2009 school year. Look at their records and decide if they are good candidates for our pilot college algebra program. Hopefully someone else is going to track the kids down and talk to them.
7. Get my progress grades done (Monday)
8. Parent conferences (tonight)
9. Continue to create engaging lesson plans each and every day.
10. Continue to look at student work and give feedback each and every day.
11. Interviews for new teachers.

I feel like I do such a crappy job at so much of my work. Yet everyone keeps telling me that I'm doing a great job - and giving me more responsibility. The truancy mentoring has been a big failure for me, yet no one but me will admit it. I am relieved that the job will no longer exist next year so I don't have to turn it down - even though we will certainly miss the money! At least I won't feel guilty every day that I am not earning the $600 a month that they are paying me to do this job (half-assed).

Anyway - quite a rant here. So what has suffered?
1. my exercise. I have only gotten to it 2X last week. Not at all this week. Tomorrow (my personal day) I am getting up and back on the treadmill. Saturday I'm doing the HIIT video. Sunday back on the treadmill. Monday I'll pick up the weights again. Tuesday - treadmill. Wednesday - rest. Then I'll be back on my regular schedule. I keep thinking that once today is done (at 9:00pm, after confererences) I'll be able to scale back again. PLEASE LET IT BE SO! I got up at 4:00am the last 3 mornings, only to work. This morning I THINK I got the schedule worked out. What a project!
2. my eating. I'm succumbing to the crap again. Stress does that to me. Right now, I'm strong. Half way through the day, I'm a mess. There are cookies. I eat them. I feel like crap, but that doesn't seem to stop me the next day. I know I need to do 2 things...
#1 - pick up Tosca Reno's book and read it again. It was such good inspiration the first time, maybe it'll get my thinking straight again.
#2 - Write down what I want to eat (cookies, etc.) on a notecard every time I'm tempted. Save it for my cheat day (which I never needed before, but now I'm thinking a cheat day/meal might help out). Then pick 1-2 things off that list on Sunday (my instituted cheat day). I know I won't want them anymore, and just giving myself permission to do this might do the trick to get the crap out of my body so I won't want it anymore.

I've gained a pound this week. To be expected. June is coming faster than I expected. Here we go...
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