Thursday, April 03, 2008
You will never have to worry about interval training again... if you have a dog, that is.
1. Warm Up - numerous squats and push ups thanks to your Lab/Aussie Shepherd cross enjoying an epiphany. OMG mom, you're taking me for a walk... as he knocks you to the ground. He has this same epiphany every day. Meanwhile, your collie is trying to smell everything in the room before the door is even opened and your corgi, who is only ankle high, is going ...See mom, I'm not causing any trouble... as you trip over him, because he is only ankle high. (Substitute your dogs here)
2. Interval 1 - The mad dash up the steep, rock & snow strewn driveway. You pray that your feet never touch the ground during this phase, because if they do, you trip on a rock and end up face down in the mud from the spring thaw.
3. Interval 2 - Stop dead to smell a bush.
4. Interval 3 - Walk extremely fast down the rock strewn road, each dog pulling in a different direction.
5. Interval 4 - Stop dead to water a bush, after smelling.
6. Interval 5 - Run like a madwoman down the road, hoping your arm is not pulled out of its socket, because your neighbor decided they needed to drive down the road at that particular moment.
7. Interval 6 - Stop dead to smell another bush.
Repeat ad infinitum for the next 30-60 minutes... Oh, and make sure you wear a heartrate monitor or you'll never have the faintest idea how many calories you burned participating in Iron Man Dog Walking.
P.S. My dogs are always on leashes. We have too many predators to do otherwise. I want to be able to gather them close when I start swinging my walking stick over my head like a quarterstaff at the next coyote or mountain lion I see.
Neighborhood Stats: Coyotes: 3 Small Dogs: 0
Remedy: Don't let your small dogs out without them being leashed to you.