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The hidden dangers of Chap Stick!

Friday, March 28, 2008

I actually was told the stupidest thing I have ever heard today. My baby girl has chapped lips. So what did I do? Well being the good mommy that I am, I sent her to school with Chap Stick to use. Well she came home yesterday and said the school secretary took away her Chap Stick and said she couldn't have it at school. They told her I had to bring it up there and she'll have to use it in the office.

So of course, being me, I called them and said wtf, it's Chap Stick. According to the school nurse, steller woman that she is, Chap Stick is an over the counter medication and therefore it breaks the "zero tolerance" rules if they have it on their person. I asked her what's the child going to do with Chap Stick, OD on moisturizing her LIPS! She thought I was funny. I was serious. The nurse then tells me that one of my girls (she can't tell them apart and I guess didn't bother to ask them which she was) came in yesterday to her office because of her lips (it was the Chap Stick offender) and the nurse gave her a little cup of Vasoline to use throughout the rest of the day. WTF difference is there in Vasoline (which I think is gross on your lips) and a tube of Chap Stick??? She finally said she'll call her supervisor and ask if it's allowed and let me know. I said please do, my 17 year old carries Chap Stick to school every day and if it's "illegal" then I need to let her know before she gets expelled. I can just see it now, my 4.25 GPA Honor Society student getting expelled in her Jr. year for carrying Chap Stick and moisturizing her lips. The horror! Good bye college over a tube of Chap Stick.

Oh yeah, they can't share Chap Stick either, not even with their identical, placenta sharing twin. You know, they sleep together, shower together, use the same toothbrush sometimes, use the same inhaler, eat after each other, drink after each other, used to play in each others POOP, but god forbid they share a fricken tube of Chap Stick.

So my solution is, if she can't have her chapstick, I'll go buy the baby some lip gloss to use and DARE them to say anything about it. Maybe I'll get some hooker red glittery lip stick instead and send her to school in that. I definately plan on going to the school on Monday and speaking with an authority figure (not the nurse) about the evils of Chap Stick and how I seriously do not want my children given Vasoline. If nobody's taking their temps up their butt, then they don't need vasoline. And they're long passed that stage.

So don't say you weren't warned! Chap Stick...the newest gateway drug! New at 10: 3rd Graders caught with moist lips!

*Stomps off muttering: stupid zero tolerance, inflexible morons, VASOLINE gross.*

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
SHEENA_D 3/29/2008 10:11PM

    You are hillarious! Wow the schools can be so utterly rediculous!!! Its amazing anybody could be that stupid!

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GRACED_BY_GOD 3/28/2008 8:18PM

    You are too funny about a not too funny problem! Sorry you have to deal with such morons! You deserve a pat on the back for keeping your sense of humor!

Hugs from your team member,
Project Mayhem!,

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PROTOTD 3/28/2008 5:41PM

    Educators are warning of the newest threat to our children... lip balm! Yes, lip balm, that seemingly innocuous little tube of relief that is tearing our school yards apart. Apparently, experts say, it can only lead to... (dum, dum, dum!) BLISTEX!
Sorry you're going through such frustration but you seem to be taking it in stride. At least you haven't lost your sense of humor! Give 'em hell Monday!

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STEPHBONTHEGO 3/28/2008 5:38PM

    OMGosh! Some people need to get a life! Schools are so overboard on being "pc" and "personal safety" that reality has gone right out the window. Its chapstick, for crying out loud!

As an FYI: Although petroleum jelly is not considered toxic, it can produce very bad side effects, if ingested in large amounts

Further, in Europe it was decided that some brands of petroleum products may contain cancer causing agents

I feel for you, as a mom. Good luck with the school district; go get 'em! ~Steph

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NYMPHAMOI 3/28/2008 4:28PM

    I'm so glad you recognize the dangers! I would hate for another child to fall victim to the evil Chap Stick.

Yeah it is pretty funny. The nurse obviously has been playing in the vasoline for far too long.

Thanks for the comment.

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SEAOFRED 3/28/2008 4:15PM

    Sorry about the stupidity of it all but that was hilarious! Not for your sake and I do apologize but just the ridiculous-ness of it all. I can't believe she has to check with her supervisor. That is the craziest thing I have ever heard....over chap stick! Thanks for the info, I will be sure to warn my children of the dangers, yes...chap stick! TOO FUNNY

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