Friday, March 28, 2008
I actually was told the stupidest thing I have ever heard today. My baby girl has chapped lips. So what did I do? Well being the good mommy that I am, I sent her to school with Chap Stick to use. Well she came home yesterday and said the school secretary took away her Chap Stick and said she couldn't have it at school. They told her I had to bring it up there and she'll have to use it in the office.
So of course, being me, I called them and said wtf, it's Chap Stick. According to the school nurse, steller woman that she is, Chap Stick is an over the counter medication and therefore it breaks the "zero tolerance" rules if they have it on their person. I asked her what's the child going to do with Chap Stick, OD on moisturizing her LIPS! She thought I was funny. I was serious. The nurse then tells me that one of my girls (she can't tell them apart and I guess didn't bother to ask them which she was) came in yesterday to her office because of her lips (it was the Chap Stick offender) and the nurse gave her a little cup of Vasoline to use throughout the rest of the day. WTF difference is there in Vasoline (which I think is gross on your lips) and a tube of Chap Stick??? She finally said she'll call her supervisor and ask if it's allowed and let me know. I said please do, my 17 year old carries Chap Stick to school every day and if it's "illegal" then I need to let her know before she gets expelled. I can just see it now, my 4.25 GPA Honor Society student getting expelled in her Jr. year for carrying Chap Stick and moisturizing her lips. The horror! Good bye college over a tube of Chap Stick.
Oh yeah, they can't share Chap Stick either, not even with their identical, placenta sharing twin. You know, they sleep together, shower together, use the same toothbrush sometimes, use the same inhaler, eat after each other, drink after each other, used to play in each others POOP, but god forbid they share a fricken tube of Chap Stick.
So my solution is, if she can't have her chapstick, I'll go buy the baby some lip gloss to use and DARE them to say anything about it. Maybe I'll get some hooker red glittery lip stick instead and send her to school in that. I definately plan on going to the school on Monday and speaking with an authority figure (not the nurse) about the evils of Chap Stick and how I seriously do not want my children given Vasoline. If nobody's taking their temps up their butt, then they don't need vasoline. And they're long passed that stage.
So don't say you weren't warned! Chap Stick...the newest gateway drug! New at 10: 3rd Graders caught with moist lips!
*Stomps off muttering: stupid zero tolerance, inflexible morons, VASOLINE gross.*