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how to prevent going in the other extreme?

Thursday, March 27, 2008

i just don't know. i don't know why i can't be in the middle, it's so typical of me and it frustrates me so much.

i was worried about today and rightly so i guess. i had noone at home to eat dinner with, and i was so tempted to skip it. noone was going to know. but i needed to do my second set of strength training for the day and i knew i was already lacking in protein today, so i had a small can of tuna in water worth 75 calories virtually all of which is protein. which is great and everything, but today's total is 964 calories, 154 carbs, 17 fat, 53 protein and 21 fibre. it's now 7pm and i can't bring myself to eat anymore. i see that number below 1000 calories and i can't bring myself to "ruin" it, to go over. even though my aim is 1000-1200. it is SO, so pathetic and it would or should be so easy for me just to get up right now and i don't know, have an apple, kiwi, yogurt, anything. but i. just. can't.

i'm 20 years old and should not be like this. i'm aiming for HEALTH, for slow progress, to tone and love my body. why why why do i have to get into this stupid mentaliity all the time. argh.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

L1TTLEONE 3/30/2008 10:15AM

    I agree with shootingstar--this sounds like disordered thinking. Is there any way you could get REAL TIME help to curb these destructive thoughts/behaviors? You are worth it.

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SHOOTINGSTAR04 3/27/2008 7:12PM

    It is your ED talking not you. Have you thought about reaching out and getting help in real life? Could SAVE your life :hugs; Hang in there

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SERENDIPITY22 3/27/2008 3:26PM

    i have the same problem. i am a very extreme person and it's tough to find the moderate path which will bring the most success. when i struggle with this, i try to remind myself that even if i "starve" myself for a few days, a week, a month, etc. i know i will eventually eat more and will put the weight back on. healthy living can endure. starving yourself cannot. good luck!

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