Thursday, March 27, 2008
i just don't know. i don't know why i can't be in the middle, it's so typical of me and it frustrates me so much.
i was worried about today and rightly so i guess. i had noone at home to eat dinner with, and i was so tempted to skip it. noone was going to know. but i needed to do my second set of strength training for the day and i knew i was already lacking in protein today, so i had a small can of tuna in water worth 75 calories virtually all of which is protein. which is great and everything, but today's total is 964 calories, 154 carbs, 17 fat, 53 protein and 21 fibre. it's now 7pm and i can't bring myself to eat anymore. i see that number below 1000 calories and i can't bring myself to "ruin" it, to go over. even though my aim is 1000-1200. it is SO, so pathetic and it would or should be so easy for me just to get up right now and i don't know, have an apple, kiwi, yogurt, anything. but i. just. can't.
i'm 20 years old and should not be like this. i'm aiming for HEALTH, for slow progress, to tone and love my body. why why why do i have to get into this stupid mentaliity all the time. argh.