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    PRETTYBLKGYRL   35,603
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Inconsistent acts of inspiration

Monday, March 24, 2008


For the past few weeks, I've been having an extremely difficult time staying motivated - let me re-phrase that FINDING MOTIVATION. (that's why I haven't been around many of the message boards or visiting my friends pages like I KNOW I should) :(

I wake up every morning with the best of intentions - but often once 3:00pm rolls around, I find a way to sabotage all of my efforts for that day. And once I board the train to SABOTAGE-VILLE, there's no turning back. And once I start binge snacking - all hope for the day is GONE!!!

I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I continued with the fitness plan I established for myself. But needless to say, I've disregarded that as well. Truthfully, I'm too ashamed to even document my exercise minutes in my fitness journal - or should I say the LACK OF exercise minutes. I think I've worked out a TOTAL of 60 minutes for the entire month of March.

And I don't have an excuse for WHY I haven't worked out this month. I have an apartment full of fitness equipment: a treadmill, elliptical machine, stair stepper, pilate's rebounder, an indoor trampoline, a stationary bike, a magic circle, free weights & resistance bands. ((You'd be surprised at how I found the space to fit all of that into a my modest 2 bedroom apartment :P)) The only explanation I have is my lack of inspiration/motivation

I really don't understand it - because I want this so badly. But for some reason, mentally I'm just not on board. I've resumed my late night snacking. (EXCEPT FOR TONIGHT!!! I'm taking any victory I can find.)

BUT - on a more positive note - the one thing I've tried to keep an eye on is my sodium intake. (some of my friends may know I'm borderline hypertensive) On my bad days I'm averaging approximately 3000mg of sodium - keeping in mind my range is 0 - 2300mg a day.

I suppose if you take into consideration that the average American consumes between 4,000 to 5,000 mg of sodium a day, I'm not doing to bad. BUT, due to my blood pressure concerns I'm not average - I'm someone that NEEDS to be more mindful of a lot of things.

I'm just prayerful that the motivation I need to get back on track hits me sooner than later :(

If you could send up a prayer for me- I'd really appreciate it, because right now I'm in dire need of a divine intervention.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NELSON071 3/25/2008 9:17PM

    Hello Beautiful.

This is a journey and we are all going through the same emotions. Trying to "drop" the pounds. I don't use the word lose anymore is very frustrating to say the least. I feel you. I had to take some time off just to re-focus. It becomes overwhelming, especially when you look at other's progress and start feeling sorry for yourself. First off, this is your journey. It is your thang do what u want to do. Give yourself permission to take a break, ditch the guilt. You are not accountable to anyone. To thine ownself be true. Honey, I understand. This is a lifestyle change. It is going to take time. I am still trying to do what is good for me. I have only dropped a pound and a half. However, I gained you as a friend along with many others. I care about my health, I am making an effort to go to the gym. However, I am not working, not in a relationship, kids are grown, and basically I am able to concentrate on eating healthy and going to the gym. If I was still caring for the kids, working, trying to love a man that did not love me back, trust me, I would not have this motivation to do this. Further, I am proud of you my young beautiful sister. You care enough to change. When I was your age, I had no clue. So here I am at 57, trying to get if right. I will be praying for you. I am so glad that you came back to let us know how you are doing. Whether, I hear back from you or not, know that you touched me in a powerful way. You became one of my first friends, you inspired me to take "better" pictures. I love taking pictures on my camera phone, thanks to your help and insight. You are in my heart and forever in my prayers.

Love

Jurline

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MOV4WARD 3/24/2008 7:01PM

    (hugs) i soooo understand :) Please don't beat yourself up... you have a lifetime getting to where you are today, and today is the beginning of your new lifetime of better ~ to set out your hopes & dreams and to work on them... to learn how to cope with things w/o the food, to find ways to eat and exercise that make you physically good and emotionally happy too... to know that you aren't alone in this struggle and that it can get better.... but it takes time.

that each time you fall on your tukus, that you just need to get back up, dust off and start trying again... don't use it as a reason to keep blowing it... think of the baby who is learning to walk... sometimes they take steps and land on their tukus, and sometimes they do cry, but they do get up again and keep trying... and eventually they walk with a wobble, fall a little more, keep trying until they are on their feet and walking... and later running and you wish they would stay put for awhile ~ lol

for me, changing has been a lot like that... it starts by climbing up, and trying, again and again, as many times as it takes.

don't beat yourself up for struggling... we all do... but keep trying and find the things that work for you that you can embrace and enjoy...

i once heard a doctor on a show Scientific American Frontier who said that to lose weight, we should make small changes that we can do the rest of our lives...

said another way... we should not do anything while we are "dieting" that we aren't willing to do the rest of our lives...

i used to really rebel at making healthier new lifestyle changes... i just didn't want to give up the goodies or over-eating and kind of grieved and mourned for what I was giving up...

until i realized that the things i had been doing had been hurting me, and that I had to stop hurting me... and that i needed to replace those things with things I could do, would want to do and would enjoy doing... it didn't mean i could never have cheese or choklit again... just that I shoudn't eat 2 lbs at one time! some to satisfy me but not stuff me (like eating only dessert was not a good thing... dessert should top a meal and it's ok to schedule it in... just eat the meal too...)

2 quotes i found reflected that change in direction in my thinking...

"Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in ones own sunshine. When we turn towards the light everything looks brighter and we have a much brighter view of the good things coming our way." ~ Emmerson

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." ~ Helen Keller

don't know if any of this will help today... so it's just a thought for now or for later...

but in the meantime, be kind and gentle with yourself, like you were encouraging a friend to do something difficult... b/c the changes you are making are emotional and difficult at times...

(((hugs)))



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TZOLTEK 3/24/2008 1:51PM

    hey missy, I was wondering where you went off to! I know from experience we all have bad periods in our struggle to be healthy. Just today I had to blow off my work out because I slept in and I have to do too much around the house before I leave for a trip tomorrow early! and then I had some easter candy! it's very bad I know! but then I just get back on that horse as this is all I can do. Sometimes, I really have no motivation as it seems I'm not losing weight either. But then, the working out is what matters to me anyways, because I want to be able to go up a flight of stairs w/o getting out of breath so that's why I do it. I think it helps just to reframe what we want out of our healthy lifestyles, for times when our old goals seem to far out of reach.

I know you can do it so keep up! find something that does motivate you and stick with it. :)

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MYTURN401 3/24/2008 12:21PM

    I too was always wanting to eat around 3:00pm and didn't want to stop....I figured out I was physically tired, so now instead of eating I take 20 minutes for a power nap. I get up feeling better and not craving something for a quick lift. Thought it might help. Good luck with getting on track.

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REDHOTDIVA 3/24/2008 11:47AM

    Good job controlling that late-night snacking! Pat yourself on the back for that one - you deserve it!

I understand not logging your exercise minutes. but go ahead and do it. Just think how proud you'll be when you can look back and say, "last month, I only exercised 60 minutes, but I doubled that this month!" Use your down times as a starting point and just try to do a little better tomorrow (or next week or next month). Maybe set a couple mini-goals that you know you can reach - for instance, "I will exercise at least 30 minutes total this week." Write your goal down, and re-write it every morning so it's fresh in your mind. Then when you reach your goal, be sure to reward yourself (pretty new nail polish is one of my favorite rewards)!

We all go through times when we lack motivation and our goals seem way to far away to ever reach. Just remember, you can do this, and while we sometimes take a step backwards, we're going to reach our goals. Take care!

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KISMET1428 3/24/2008 11:28AM

    Honey... you can do this. I'm sending you a SPmail because you have really touched my heart today.

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CHERIE55 3/24/2008 10:58AM

    Hi, YOU ARE RIGHT, YOU ARE NOT JUST PRETTY, YOU ARE REALLY BEAUTIFUL! Now, as I see it, there are a couple things going on here! 1. Do you really want this bad enough to do it? If you do, first thing is to get all the junk food out of your house and buy apples, grapes, mangoes, kiwis, oranges, salt substitute, baby carrots, celery, tomatoes, green peppers, olive oil, whole grain cereals, whole grain breads. Then if you want to snack...you got plenty to snack on and your daughter has healthy things to snack on too! A whole cup of grapes is 23 calories, want to binge...binge on 2 or 3 cups of grapes! Follow that with a couple of tomatoes for about 25 calories a cup, then green pepper strips! You will be so full and healthy before you know it and the desire to eat healthy and stop the binges might start to set in. You have all that wonderful exercise equipment so first thing in the morning, jump out of bed, stretch a few times and put your tennis shoes and sweats on. Then get on one of the machines and start exercising! Putting on the exercise clothes will become a habit and you will be all ready for exercise! When you finish 1 exercise, put on some great exercise music and move to another machine and get started girl! Don't continue on an unhealthy path, and wind up seriously ill or in the hospital. Look at your child, do want a heart attack before she is even grown? No, you don't! Get excited about becoming healthy! You've got the looks, now get the body too! Use your SparkPeople tools! Track your fitness minutes, and your nutrition. If you cheat, you are not only cheating yourself but you are cheating your daughter out of a healthy mother! And you are setting her up for unhealthy habits too! I know, because I have a daughter and a daughter-in-law who struggle with their weight and my 2 granddaughters are both young and my daughters are seeing that my granddaughters are starting to have weight problems. One is 16, she has lost 15 pounds now and joined the cheering squad at school, the other is 10 and I told her mother to buy her a hula hoop and she got a pink basket ball in her Easter Basket! I told my daughter to take all 3 kids on bike rides to the park as soon as the weather breaks! Invite your daughter to get on the exercise machines with you. I wish you lived near me, I'd be your personal trainer and exercise with you on all that great equipment! That's what made Bob Greene such a great personal trainer for Oprah, he exercised with her and ran with her every step of the way! Hugs to you, have a great day and make the rest of your life and your child's healthy! Cherie

Comment edited on: 3/24/2008 10:59:46 AM

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