Wednesday, March 12, 2008
I have had a couple of weeks of really hectic family events going on. I have not maintained my diet or exercise regimen and have gained back a few pounds (I don't even want to see the scale right now). I haven't even been on Sparkpeople because my time on the computer has been limited to just checking my regular email account about 1x weekly.
My daughter had been in the hospital for a few days with a combination of vomiting, headaches, anxiety attacks and not being able to sleep. One thing kept leading to the other and back again. My daughter was not herself and fell into a depression because she didn't feel safe or even in control of herself anymore. The more nervous she got the more her stomach would hurt and she would vomit, get a headache, feel really weak and when she would try to sleep she wouldn't stay asleep or have terrible nightmares and the cycle would begin again. We are now dealing with different doctors, medication, referrals and a whole bunch of other issues that I have never had to deal with. It has truly been rough and my attention has been given to her and working on this situation to the point that there hasn't been much "me" time.
I've also missed many days of work which causes questions and sticky situations but, my child's health comes first. I don't really talk about the situation at work because talk spreads too quickly and often gets misconstrued. I have managed to leave home situations at home so that it doesn't effect my work performance but me not being there does cause enough damage.
The best thing that has happened in the past few weeks has been my brother's wedding. I am so happy for him and my new sister-in-law. The wedding was beautiful and they truly looked happy and excited to be married. I also got to dress up and felt really pretty that day. Having been 15 pounds lighter that day maybe me really feel good about all the hard work I had done since the new year.
Now, today, I am ready to start over and get back on track. Forget the old Biggest Loser Goal of 22 pounds by 4/1/08 and hello lose the weight I just gained back, lol. I know I set myself back but I'm okay with that considering the circumstances. I also know that the family problems I'm dealing with are not going away any time soon and I have to learn to concentrate on me while dealing with it. If my health fails how will I take care of my family? I ran through a bout of loosing sleep and not eating 3 meals a day because I was running from place to place and wearing myself out. I was so overwhelmed that it was scary so I don't want to let myself go through all those shocks again.
Please know that I have not been avoiding my teams and that you are all important to me. I needed to deal with these situations and could use your support as well to help get back where I need to be. If I'm not on as often its just because I'm really busy working on family issues. But, you guys are in my mind and heart because you are my support systems and motivators. I'll try not to be "missing" for this long again.
Thanks for reading this,