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A revelation while flossing

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Last night while flossing, I had a serious realization about my entire life and the way I've lived it.

I was always the bossy kid. I liked being in charge and telling everyone what to do. As I grew up and started to mature, I continued to micromanage everyone else around me, and disregarded myself. I wanted to control everyone and everything, yet I couldn't control my own overeating. As a teen, I was rebellious and unable to say no to ANYTHING. I just never ever worried about really controlling myself.

I guess I've never thought about those years in this way - it wasn't that I wanted to act out for attention; I just didn't know how to stop or control myself in situations with opportunities to make bad decisions.

Now, finally, 26 years in, I'm realizing that this micromanaging, obsessive control freak thing can have other applications - oh, like worrying about ME!!! I am finally taking control of myself. I am finally worrying about what I'M doing and being in charge of my own actions.

Why didn't this ever hit me before? I can approach weight loss like everything else - plan, organize, make lists, have visuals, and MANAGE it!

This had a lot more passion and fluidity when I was scribbling it down last night... but the revelation is still there! :)
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HISTORYHOBBIT 3/13/2008 9:23AM

    This is really interesting... It is not the first time I have heard of an epiphany happening in the bathroom-ha! There is probably some wonderful tibetan word that roughly translates to: "I had a great idea while my mind was blank in the bathroom. ha!"

I have a similar background as far as saying no to anything (even sporting an entire head of hemp wraps--yikes! What was I thinking!?) but mine stems from wanting to please everyone. I wanted to *be* Bob Dylan's girl who gave him a rainbow. If you are a rainbow giver you can't say no to others' destructive suggestions, right? :) Now I realize that saying no--even applies to myself.

Think about your control issues as tempered not by obsession, but by gentle guidance and equilibrium. Perhaps the obsession stems from your lack of control over yourself--you can't control yourself so you control others. A healthy balance--is (imho) key to a productive life. As I deal with my obsessions as I lie in bed at night, I visualize them hanging by rubber bands from me and I ask my self--Can I control this? Do I need to let this go? Then I visualize myself snipping the bands and watching the anxiety fall into the abyss. (on a related note--if you have watched Dead dancers you can actually see them building positive energy by gathering it to them through dance or giving positive energy by pushing it away)

Ok-enough of my rant! I I hope you don't mind me posting my thoughts about your blog. Congratulations your moment of enlightenment!

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GRACEFULTURTLES 3/12/2008 5:20PM

    YES YES YES (and the realizations are always most powerful when first scribbled)! Make a list, make a plan, each and every step should be a known entity and then you have a map to success - you cannot fail, it's a guarantee win-win situation. (voice of experience and still experiencing)

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