Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Last night while flossing, I had a serious realization about my entire life and the way I've lived it.
I was always the bossy kid. I liked being in charge and telling everyone what to do. As I grew up and started to mature, I continued to micromanage everyone else around me, and disregarded myself. I wanted to control everyone and everything, yet I couldn't control my own overeating. As a teen, I was rebellious and unable to say no to ANYTHING. I just never ever worried about really controlling myself.
I guess I've never thought about those years in this way - it wasn't that I wanted to act out for attention; I just didn't know how to stop or control myself in situations with opportunities to make bad decisions.
Now, finally, 26 years in, I'm realizing that this micromanaging, obsessive control freak thing can have other applications - oh, like worrying about ME!!! I am finally taking control of myself. I am finally worrying about what I'M doing and being in charge of my own actions.
Why didn't this ever hit me before? I can approach weight loss like everything else - plan, organize, make lists, have visuals, and MANAGE it!
This had a lot more passion and fluidity when I was scribbling it down last night... but the revelation is still there! :)