Sunday, March 09, 2008
Eating has always been an issue for me. Not over-eating, but eating period. I've struggled with what might as well be called an eating disorder for over a decade, where I will not eat for days on end, not because I consciously make a choice not to eat but because I've conditioned myself so well not to even notice, that I'd forget or wouldn't take the time to stop and eat something.
I also struggled with the consequences of that, which include things like not BEING able to eat more then once a day because it was painful, and being tired, and grouchy, and dizzy. It had gotten to the point that I was just constantly nauseated and would pass out or vomit randomly, just for doing things like standing up. For future reference, this does not equal sexy.
I am however, very proud of myself right this second, because I just realized that I have eaten at least two, if not three, meals a day every day for two weeks. This for me, is a huge gigantanormous parade-worthy accomplishment. I'm serious, I'm tempted to throw confetti at myself if I didn't have to vacuum it up later. I have also done 20+ minutes of cardio every day for two weeks, which isn't too bad either.
I've even met my calorie goals, and even a couple of times gone over! I'm so proud of myself! I ate too many calories! It's silly, but for me, who spent the last ten years sometimes eating only twice a week, it's a huge deal.
It's been tough, some days I have to force myself to eat, and I have to write what I'm going to have down and make myself go get it because otherwise I just won't.
Getting points for tracking food helps too, I'm 4th on my cities Leaderboard for Spark Points (6th for fitness minutes) and well, you know, I only need 76 more points to be 1st. Heh.
So, yay for me. Maybe I'll buy myself a present...can you buy Cabana Boys with Spark Points? No? Well that's no fun.