Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Well, looks like I've been doing it again!
Putting things off (like writing here LOL), feeling somewhat down, unmotivated, frustrated with myself! Yet I've had a couple of good steps forward...so why do I back off with the good steps?!
Probably I feel a bit afraid of what will happen when I take those steps forward...and wonder if they'll "last" or will things turn to the backward steps again, no matter how temporary! Guess I've just had so many setbacks these past 5-6 years, that any forwards seem hard to believe, let alone believe IN!
Like, I just got a temporary part time job in an office - 2 days a week, for 3 hours each day. Perfect! This is something I've been wanting and looking for now for at least 3-4 years! I've only done one day so far, but enjoyed it. The people were wonderful, friendly and helpful. So why am I nervous to go back this Thursday?? I've no idea...will have to post my thoughts and feelings after I've worked Thursday.
As I said, enjoyed doing the one day of work last week, and even stayed over at my daughter's...which I loved! Maybe they weren't as thrilled LOL, to have Mom there for 2 days, but I loved being there. Until it was time to head back to Orillia...and my car started Doing It Again! Acting up that is! A man in the drug store parking lot, stopped me and said my read driver's wheel was wobbling! Oh great! Is the wheel going to come off now??? Decided I'd take to Roger's mechanic when I got back to Orillia and headed out on the highway. Sounded like a sewing machine or snowmobile was beside me and I even looked around to see where the offending vehicle was! To my horror it was MY CAR!! Took my time on the highway back to Orillia, nervous all the way in case the wheel was coming off like it almost did on Roger's care last Fall.
Couldn't get the car in to the mechanics before Monday (yesterday) and after they looked at it, called me to inform me that it was a wonder I hadn't had an accident as 3 out of the 4 wheels had their bearings "shot" and the rear driver's side was completely gone - not even grease left!
So it was a "good step" that the gentleman warned me about the wheel, which prompted me to take it to the mechanic's, which saved me from an accident! But it was also a step or two backwards as well, because I had to rearrange my second work day because the car was in the shop and I wouldn't be able to get there. Not to count that literally the entire pay checks I'll get for doing this temp job, will go to paying the almost $600 car repair bill!! Maybe I was meant to get the job so that I could afford to fix the car so that I didn't have an accident?? I would think that is a "good step" to think about it that way.
A Good Step I did take was to take advantage of the time I would have been working, to re-book my dentist appointment to have the impressions made for my (soon to get) dentures! So that's just what I did, and today at 1 pm I went to the dentist and had the impressions done...and also had to have 2 teeth removed so the dentures will fit properly when they are done! The teeth were in very bad shape anyway, and I knew they would be coming out before the dentures went in; I just wasn't expecting to do it today! LOL
So here I am now, sipping on cammomile tea, getting ready to head to bed, have taken all my medicines for the day, drank almost all my 8 glasses of water (only half of one bottle left to go), taken my Tylenol for the pain that is creeping along my jaw and hoping i'll be able to sleep with my head elevated as I usually am a Tummy Sleeper.
If I can't sleep, you just might find me blogging on here - Doing It Again!! LOL