Beginning at the beginning--AGAIN!
Thursday, February 14, 2008
well, this has been quite an eye opener for me. where to begin?
I feel as though I need to get my thoughts down and really "own" them, instead of burying them. so here goes:
I discovered SparkPeople about a year ago, and told lots of people about it. had just joined a new gym for the first time in a few years, and was psyched to be on the journey. tried not to get discouraged when the scale seemed to barely budge even though I was tracking my (balanced, healthy) diet and working out. then the trainer at the gym put me on an eating plan and I stopped logging in at SP. hurt my shoulder and tried to deal with that setback -- couldn't follow my workout routine as before due to doctor's "rest" orders, but I still persevered. then at some point, I feel I really lost my way, and began reading up on a lot of different eating programs. [nutrition is a hobby, almost my major way back in college] all the different "theories" of nutrition overwhelms me--low calories, low carb, whole foods, high fat, etc.--and I literally jumped from one eating plan to another to another looking for the RIGHT one. of course, I would still get emails from SP but at this point I was no longer logging in or reading articles, etc. then the other day I decided to weigh myself and start fresh. I looked at my SP goals, and realized that it had been almost a whole year since I began, and I easily could have been ENJOYING life at my goal, but instead had barely improved from my original starting point. So I hopped on the scale expecting it to read 152 (like the last time I checked it) but it was 156.5 lbs. YIKES! Now I was feeling dejected, beating myself up for my foolish behaviors--and promptly ate my way through the day. :-(
so then I decided to read some success stories, and I found some encouragement in other people's journeys. I really thought
if lots of other people could be successful, even with different approaches, then I needed to dig deep and remember what worked for me in the past, face my demons and start again!
I'm hoping to find some support here. my husband means well, but isn't always helpful. I need to be accountable to someone. and I'll take any encouragement people are willing to give me. I don't want to be this tired, unhealthy, unattractive, undisciplined anymore.