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Day 8 - help me, please

Saturday, July 12, 2014

The essence of Day 8 is to ask for help with your weight loss or to specify what is is that you don't want people to do or say. Our team members listed all kinds of things:

emoticon Some want the compliments; some want nothing said or discussed;
emoticon Some want family members to be considerate/thoughtful enough to not bring home goodies

And, most agree that saying the following comments or questions are v. annoying:

emoticon "you're NOT fat", "why don't you have a bite?", "want to get ice cream?", "can you HAVE that?", "you eat too fast!", and "why bother, you never finish." And, on and on...

In my home, there is only my son and he really doesn’t say too much. He mostly supports me and is proud when I manage weight loss. He does talks to me about the physics of calories in and out, but I don’t know what the heck he’s talking about.

I have to tell this story: there was a show that didn’t last long right about the time I joined SP maybe around 2008. It had Dr. Oz and Dr. Roisen going to houses and throwing out the “bad” (chips, cookies, goodies, etc.) foods from people's cabinets. So, inspired by this, I went to the cupboards and threw everything out. Sometime later, I overheard my son exclaim to a friend, “I don’t have anything good to eat because my mom threw everything out!” I had to laugh. I never realized how this affected him. But we have never looked back. If he wants something "good", he has to go and buy it himself and bring it downstairs to his semi-styled-apartment. He is actually into eating good foods and said recently, “you need money to lose weight – to buy the right foods". So true.

The idea of setting new boundaries is difficult and I hope I can change with that regard.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPEDED2 7/12/2014 9:20PM

    Setting boundaries is sometimes as difficult as dealing with negativity. Both can drain your motivation and mental well-being. Your writing is upbeat and causes me to reflect about some of the similar things that are happening in my life. Thank you so much for sharing your journey to better health. emoticon

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KEKEIKO 7/12/2014 2:40PM

    The most important thing is ... You are setting boundaries! and making changes and changing your attitude. Once you can change your mind about certain foods and people comments that's half the battle right there.

Just remember, you can't control what comes out of other peoples mouths but you can control what goes in and out of yours.

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GEORGE815 7/12/2014 12:12PM

    Lots of changes. It will work out.

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Day 7 - I CAN DO IT!!!

Friday, July 11, 2014

DAY 7 – I can do it!

WoW…one week down…WooHoo!!!! I CAN DO IT!!!!

Although I am unsure if I am losing this third week being back on SP (because it doesn’t feel like it), I am still keeping within my calorie limit. It’s so weird, but I am not upset about it. If I do not lose this week, I am just going to eat differently - more veggies and fruit and less carbs and meat. I am going forward.

Self-talk – I was just reading a person’s blog where she was talking about self-talk and how negative we can be toward ourselves. Most of us are very, very hard on ourselves and it truly limits us. As I think on it, I can’t imagine that people, like Donald Trump, confine themselves to negative self-talk. People like him just seem to “do”. They have an outward and inner confidence that propels them forward. And even if they might have a negative thought or two, it doesn’t stop them from going forward. They have a propensity toward success. It doesn’t mean they are always successful – just that most of the time they are. What does this tell the rest of us who limit ourselves to the negative mantras swirling around in our head?

Spangler talks about becoming our own cheerleader and repeating a positive mantra each day anywhere from at least 10 times to maybe up to 100 times daily. It is funny cause on Day 2, when I got weak, I repeated to myself over and over, “Am I just interested or committed?” It really helped. She says to “think about why you are so convinced you can be successful”; then, write, post, and verbally recite it everywhere.

So my goal starting today will be to read my phrases frequently, using them to strengthen my goals and build excitement/passion. By doing this, I am allowing these positive affirmations to reach the recesses of my mind. Some phrases to repeat daily to reinforce my determination are:

I can do this because, “I’m totally determined.”
I can do this because “I’m capable of accomplishing anything.”
I can do this because “others have done it and so can I!”
I can do this because I am a woman who likes to accomplish my goals.
I can do this because I am worthwhile & deserve to be a smaller size.
I can do this because I deserve to feel good about myself.
I can do this because I want to be proud of myself.
I can do this because I want to be healthier than I am.
I can do this because I want to lower my blood pressure.
I can do this because when I accomplish this, I can strut my stuff.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEKEIKO 7/11/2014 4:21PM

    emoticon Barbara, I think you have a lot to focus on.

Would you consider changing that you deserve to be a smaller size (ie. size 7/8 or 5/6) rather than thin. Thin may not be possible for many people and that sets them up for being discouraged and then failure.

Remember to keep your goals small and reachable. Small goals add up!

I want to see you succeed! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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IOWAGRAMMA 7/11/2014 4:13PM

    Great job! Great work! Great progress!! Wishing you all the best, Jeannie emoticon

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RAWCOOKIE 7/11/2014 2:48PM

Isn't it amazing that we've done a whole WEEK already?!

Those are great affirmations Barbara - and I know you are going to see great changes.

Onward and downward!

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Day 6 - protect your program

Thursday, July 10, 2014

I agree only I can take care of my weight loss program. No one else will do it for me. In fact, so many times after mentioning I was going do this, I found that a person or persons actually would (wittingly or unwittingly) sabotage it. Spangler tells us that the best thing to do is to avoid situations where you are pressured or feel it necessary to eat. She further states that if you are in this kind of situation, you can stave it off by saying, “not just yet; I’m going to wait a little while” or some variation of that reply.

But you know what I LOVE MOST about this chapter? She tells us that it is “best to avoid getting caught up in conversations about dieting and weight loss.” This happens to be the #2 reason I return to doing poorly, gaining weight, and quitting altogether. I blame it on being afraid of success. When people would say, “Wow, you look good, have you lost weight?” I blow it. Not because I feel that I achieved success and don’t have to continue, but because I realize I am afraid of the success I could have or because I just don’t deserve it. If that doesn’t make sense, join the club. I don’t understand it either.

If a person asks you about your weight loss, Spangler offers this reply. “My weight-loss counselor recommends that we don’t discuss the program because talking about food makes me want to eat.” My variation would be more direct because I cannot afford to have anyone discuss my weight in person. I have floundered too many times with this and some people don’t know how to stop. I’d say in the nicest way possible, “Thank you, but I don’t discuss my weight.” I might or might add Spangler’s “the mere mention of food makes me want to eat.” I like her mantra. “I must protect my program at all costs!”

My high-risk moments and what I will do to offset them:

emoticon No weight loss after counting calories for wks – eat more greens; less carbs

emoticon After going overboard, I get out of control and quit (Day 4) – not be rigid and won’t feel the need to overeat

emoticon Bored, restless, upset, stressed & I am off and running – exercise, journal or mantra (interested/committed)

emoticon Fixated on a food (Chapter 5) – journal and postpone the food

emoticon Haven’t eaten and am too hungry – make sure I eat in a timely manner

emoticon Someone tells me I look like I’ve lost weight (Day 6) – reply: I do not speak about weight loss

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEKEIKO 7/10/2014 5:17PM

    Personally, if someone asked if I was loosing weight I would respond by saying "Thank you, I'm eating less carbs". For me that's short & sweet and really doesn't allow them to ask about a plan because you've already addressed that. If they ask "what are you eating" then the response would be "I don't discuss food as it makes me hungry".

You seem to have it all under control and that's a big one "Be in control of what and how much you insert into that pie hole".

Keep focused, you're making things happen!
Here's a biggie ...
I'm so proud of you Barbara. Gentle hugs, K
emoticon emoticon

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MILLISMA 7/10/2014 10:30AM

    You are amazing. I so do appreciate you sharing this information and your feelings. You will do this and I'm here cheering you on!!!

big hugs....Mary Anne

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IRON_RESOLVE 7/10/2014 9:29AM

    Barbara, I am SO GLAD you are working your program SO HARD. I love your blogs because I always get a "take away" from them.
Just to make the effort to read, and live out the suggestions, is wonderful.

Also, if I may, you may also simply answer "Yes. Thank you, but I don't discuss it"

A lot of us have never learned to receive a compliment. I know it took me years to not use self-depreciating humour. Or counter with a compliment.
A simple thank you, can end the conversation.
I think you are so awesome, and I am so glad we met here!

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SPEDED2 7/10/2014 9:02AM

    It seems that fear of success is a problem for many of us. Your list can help all of us fight the good fight. Thank you for sharing!


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EVIE4NOW 7/10/2014 8:03AM

  With that list, you are on your way. Keep pushing. You CAN do it.

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Day 5 - Magic Notebook

Wednesday, July 09, 2014

So Day 5 (Magic Notebook) is about journaling.
Sigh…what can I say…I always WANT to journal, but rarely (and I mean rarely) do. First of all, my brain wants to type it, not write it. Ever since the computer came into existence, I don’t actually like to handwrite on paper. I used to enjoy writing letters all the time and now I never do. I send emails or just call instead.

Since this challenge started, I have had the accompanying 100 Days Challenge Journal printed out. I am supposed to write on it daily and have not done so. Even when I think of doing this, I feel overcome as it feels like a chore. The first day I did journal was on the SP planner. This appears to no longer be listed on the SP site even though the URL still exists. One can get to it by using this URL (if you are interested): http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/planner

Now in her book, Spangle says, “…recording personal thoughts or actions each day provides valuable insight. It also provides an outlet for emotions and struggles around weight-loss efforts.” So, with that in mind, I will journal as it is part of the challenge. Whether I do it online or write it out, I will have to figure it out.

1) I do like the idea of “just because you think about a food doesn’t mean you have to eat it.” She states, "when a food thought crosses your mind, remind yourself that you don't have to eat it." Still, my compulsion has always won over.

2) I do like the idea of observing food cues (smells, sight, hearing about it), writing it down, letting it go, and postponing it until another day.

TV food commercials send “eat this now” signals that I respond to…lol…boy, do advertisers love me. Seriously, I will see a food commercial and literally get up and eat that food if it’s in the house. Sometimes I will try to not do this, but the thought becomes an obsession – so OVERWHELMING – that I am compelled to go get it. I feel ashamed of being so weak, but then isn’t that just what the advertisers count on?

RESPONSE: NOW, I will observe the food, think about the trigger, and manage my response by writing the food own. I will remind myself that I do not have to eat it. I wait it out and see if the obsession dissipates. Perhaps, by writing and “waiting” it out, the urge will disappear.

RESPONSE: IF THAT DOESN’T WORK, I will write about “eating it sometime in the future” (amount and how often). Better yet, maybe I can change the channel before the whole commercial displays~!

PS: I want to say that this 100 Days Weight Loss book by Linda Spangle is mutually thought-provoking and easy to follow. Contradictory? No, not really. The exercises provide me a different way to think about what I am doing to achieve weight loss - unlike my customary approaches. At the same time, the chapters are short, to-the-point, and easy to follow. This relieves me of feeling overwhelmed with the overall “challenge”.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FERRNIE 7/10/2014 7:35AM

    I really liked Kekeiko's suggestion of using word document for the journal.

I do the same thing with food commercials. In the commercials the food item looks so delicious and I will try to fill that taste as close as I can get. That often causes me to overeat.

Thanks for sharing. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KEKEIKO 7/9/2014 5:04PM

    You can journal in a word document. I know what you mean about sitting down and trying to write something. Just seems to flow better for me if I'm typing it. I can also go back and edit it. I'm the only one that reads it but I want it to flow nicely.
Am I a perfectionist? emoticon

I'm glad that you are stopping and rethinking rather then getting up and grabbing for food. You could train yourself to get up and drink a glass of water or pop a sugar free mint in place of food. Redirect your thoughts to make the change.

I see positive changes in your thought process. emoticon

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MILLISMA 7/9/2014 5:03PM

    Barb, you are doing really great with this challenge. Thank you for continuing to share what you are doing and learning.

emoticon emoticon

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RAWCOOKIE 7/9/2014 4:27PM

    Nice one Barb!

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JILL313 7/9/2014 3:53PM

    Hi Barbara, I've been slow to get started on this. Is part of the Challenge to write a blog every day? If so this sure won't be my cup of tea. I'm not a good writer at all. . .Unfortunately, it does seem writing things down by hand is becoming a lost art, really too bad. Like you, I either e-mail or call a friend or family member, etc. You seem to have a really good handle on this Challenge. I'm still feeling under the weather with a headache & tummy ache. I want to start this Challenge soon and hope to do that today. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Day 4 - boundaries, not diets

Tuesday, July 08, 2014

DAY 4 – Boundaries, not diets

I love the sentence in Chapter 4 by Linda Spangler: “This all-or-nothing approach (doing everything right at first – writing down all the exact calories/points and then blowing it when you eat a forbidden food.) never works because when you are off your diet, you cancel out the progress you made while you were on it.” Saying it makes it so real. Boy, this was another thought-provoking exercise. barbara

Here are my guidelines (or path):

NARROW PLAN (boundary plan)

Eating -
*can’t eat certain foods
*can’t go over 1250 cal (1200-1500 cal limit set by SP) overall per week
*allowed flexibility: if you eat foods not on plan or over the 1250, it isn’t the end of the world, try to be responsible even with this. EX: you buy a meat and rice meal, but you skip the rice.

*must do chair exercises 2-3x per week until July 30
*must walk 2-3x per week until July 30
*allowed flexibility: if I miss walking 2-3x per week until July 30, I will add let it go.

WIDER PLAN (maintenance plan)

*eat any food as long as I stay within allowed calorie limit
*if I go over 1250 but within 1500 overall per week, I will have not failed and will need to continue my plan.
*allowed flexibility: You overdo the calories one day, tomorrow make it up by eating less to be 1250 overall

*must do chair exercises 2x per week until July 30
*must walk 2x per week until July 30
*allowed flexibility: if I miss walking 2-3x per week until July 30, I will add let it go.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JILL313 7/9/2014 3:56PM

    Great Goals Barbara. . .Sounds like a wonderful & doable plan for you. You sound like you're doing really well and sure have thought about some good to go new Goals. I'm be rooting for you to succeed by believing You can do it & then do this for yourself.

Prayers & Hugs emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KEKEIKO 7/9/2014 9:59AM

    I really like "Boundaries, not diets". emoticon

Diets really are food restrictions where as boundaries are a bit more flexible. There are food choices with boundaries. When you're out to eat you can request double veggies rather than rice or potatoes. Many people don't realize that and I like this because typically it's more colorful on the plate so catchy on the eye. What's better than something more pleasing on the senses?

Your plan for exercising is within reach so it's definitely doable. emoticon emoticon

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RAWCOOKIE 7/9/2014 4:04AM

    This is great Barbara.
I have a suggestion to make about your 'wider' paths: I think trying to 'make up' for your transgressions by doing more might feel punishing - how do you feel about letting any slip-ups go, and then just start again from where you are?
What do you think?
I am probably strongly influenced by the fact that I follow FlyLady - and her maxim is always to be kind to yourself, and just jump back in right where you are - playing catch-up just stresses you out and makes you feel bad.
You are welcome to disagree - but be kind to yourself!


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SPEDED2 7/8/2014 10:19PM

    emoticon shout it out!

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MILLISMA 7/8/2014 7:47PM

    I think I should print this and put it on my frig. It's great!!! emoticon

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UKNOWITNOW 7/8/2014 6:44PM

Sounds like a plan to me

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