Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Did you see the AMA is recognizing obesity as an illness. http://www.myfoxphilly.com/story/22627690/
I hope this opens up treatment for everyone, as insurance companies are forced to pay for obesity treatments. Right now, my insurance plan (and not the company, because I know for a fact that Blue Cross/Blue Shield pays for obesity surgeries in other company plans) will pay for NOTHING having to do with obesity treatment. I hope that changes before I turn 65, not that I'm a candidate for WLS anymore anyhow. But drugs can help and there are some new ones out there that seem promising, but are prohibitively expensive right now without insurance helping cover the cost. Even counseling might help and perhaps that would be covered by insurance eventually.
Dr. Nancy Snyderman, the Today Show's M.D., said this morning that two-thirds of the population is considered overweight. I am in that two-thirds with a BMI at my current weight of 155 pounds coming in over 25. I need to drop 10 lbs. to get to that magic below 25 BMI, but I also figure I've got at least 15 pounds of excess skin hanging around. So I don't consider myself overweight, at least not too much!!!
I don't think I look too bad in my exercise tights, ready to go walking this morning, even if technically I'm part of that overweight majority.
As far as I'm concerned obesity has always been an illness. It's a terminal disease, that kills, usually slowly, but along the way, a person's life is lost inch by inch, by the imitations imposed by being morbidly obese. I don't have ONE episode in my past that caused my obesity--so counseling is probably not going to help me, although it might help me discover things about myself that would help me control my eating. I did not have an abusive childhood or marriage, I'm a happy person who just enjoys eating, even when I'm NOT hungry.
So I'm ill. I've worked hard to conquer my illness, but it's definitely moment to moment and I still find myself obsessed with food--thinking about my next meal before I'm done eating the current meal. I'd like to tell myself that I'm so content with my new lifestyle, that I have no fear that I will lose that control I work so hard to keep, and regain all my lost weight. But I just don't think I'm all that confident......yet.
Right now I'm wondering if it would be okay to go on our local University Campus in my exercise capris (SEE PICTURE ABOVE) to purchase the Office Suite software from the Computer Store there? How many stares would I get? Right now the campus is over-run with middle and high school kids taking part in various camps and schools. Sometimes those kids can be ruder than college kids. But I think I'm confident enough that I look okay to venture down to Campus dressed like this. I'll let you know if I get any rude comments.
Monday, June 17, 2013
In 1989, our family of 3 boys, Du & I headed for a 2+ week vacation to sunny California in our 1977 Ford LTD. The LTD was roomy enough for all of us: Mark, my oldest turned 17 during the trip, Brady was 11 and Chris was only 3. We made many stops on our way to San Francisco, where we spent a few days touring the sights, before heading south to LA, Disneyland, Universal Studios and the Pacific Ocean.
My four guys, on the beach at Carmel-by-the-Sea, California, August 1989.
It was a memorable trip for many reasons, one of those being that we had to buy a new car! We headed for home, via Las Vegas, but the Sonoran Desert between LA & Las Vegas proved too much for our old car, it conked out. We called a tow truck, who rescued us during a rare desert downpour, at the rest stop, and towed us over 100 miles into Las Vegas. Hubby and oldest son headed out to the Ford Dealer (Lucky Ford--great name for a Las Vegas car dealer), where they learned our LTD engine was shot. While at Lucky Ford, Du bought a brand new 1989 Ford Thunderbird for the ride home, after considering all our other options. Our T-Bird was quite a bit smaller than the LTD, but the boys managed to squeeze into the backseat for the long ride home. That was before carseats were required, but thank goodness we all made it home safely. Du & I drove that T-Bird for many years, but when Chris turned 16, he inherited that car. By then it had close to 200,000 miles. Chris pampered his old T-Bird, and drove it for several years through high school, until the odometer went past 200,000 miles, before selling it to a friend for a few hundred dollars. It still ran!
I have always loved the picture of my four guys and it is hanging on my stairwell. I got it out a few weeks ago and scanned it and paid $25 to have it put in our local newspaper's "Celebrate" section for Father's Day. I want to make every holiday special for Du, and Father's Day, is HIS day! http://journalstar.com/celebrate/special/f
All the boys came out for picnic food yesterday. I heated up some pulled pork for sandwiches and also bought KFC fried chicken (but got myself a grilled breast). I made all the sides: potato salad, guacamole and chili cheese dip, baked beans, and watermelon. I made an orange poke cake for dessert. I sent a lot of cake and left-over chicken home with daughter-in-law and the last three pieces of cake went in Du & Chris's lunches which they took to work today. I did have one small piece of cake yesterday and it was delicious!
Brady (middle son) and his Princess Mia.
Oldest son Mark and his Princess Amber.
Du and his Princess Lola
For Father's Day, Mark & his family got Du a birdbath with a solar-powered fountain. It is beautiful. Here he is with daughter-in-law and two granddaughters, showing off his new birdbath. He always wears sweatpants when he goes out, to cover the catheter bag, but when he's at home--he wears shorts--when it's hot! So sorry for the shot of his "pee" bag. But I'm not embarrassed by it anymore and I don't think he is either. They have talked about removing his catheter, as his prostate shrinks from the hormone shots, but he is leery of that, preferring the convenience of being able to pee, after so many years of struggling with that normal human function. It truly sucks to have prostate cancer, but for now, he is doing well, feeling good, and stays super busy taking care of his "estate," as he calls our little 3 acre piece of Heaven.
Du put a fire in his fire pit (a Christmas gift from Mark & family--they give NICE gifts!), and I tried to roast two marshmallows, so the granddaughters could have s'mores. They didn't like them much. I had a bite of one, and it was yummy, but left them sitting there until everyone went home, and I threw them away.
Later, the girls had a tea party with the Strawberry Shortcake dishes (which my niece let me have--her 4-year-old daughter grew out of them), and rocks and pine cones they collected. Those two little girls have the best time playing together.
Me and my girls.
Duncan spent most of the afternoon in the basement playing X-Box games. He finally came out when it was time for them to go home.
Me & my Du.
Mia, showing off her collection of pine cones.
Du, giving Amber a ride on his shoulders. Every one of our boys used to ride on Du's broad, strong shoulders when they were young.
Duncan & Amber heading for home.
Lola wanting to go for a ride in Chris's truck--she loves to go for a ride. For Lola, riding in the car is a special treat and we take here whenever possible. She behaves better on car rides than any other time! With the cool Spring weather, she got to go for lots of rides as we took her along on our errands. But now that it's turned hot and summer is here, she won't get to go as often. Poor Lola.
It was a wonderful celebration for all three Dads in our family. My two sons have become great Dads, but they had a very good role model to emulate. For that I am so grateful. At the end of the day, after the older boys went home and Chris (youngest son) left for work, Duane and I sat quietly talking about the day and life. We have an uncertain future and much to discuss and difficult decisions ahead of us, but for now, life is good. I told him, my wish is for many more Father's Days like yesterday, with him healthy and our boys and their wonderful families spending the day with us.
As promised, here's a picture of me with my granddaughters from the recital last weekend. My sweet daughter-in-law shared her pictures with me yesterday---she is a wonderful daughter-in-law. We talked at length yesterday, I feel like I have a real friend in her, and love her like a daughter.
I am truly blessed with a wonderful family and I no longer take these special times with them for granted. I know I need to appreciate every single good day we have left together! And I do!!! I really do!!!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Went out for lunch yesterday. Hubby got a shot yesterday at 11, so we headed over to Carlos O'Kelly's for lunch afterwards. I had their new Caribbean salad. It has dried cranberries, mandarin oranges, and pineapple in it, along with a sweet vinaigrette dressing that is very good. It comes with either shrimp or chicken. Usually I get the shrimp, but yesterday substituted the chicken breast. It wasn't done enough for me, so I think next time, I'll go back to the shrimp. I have struggled at Carlos O'Kelly's in the past. I always say there's something at every restaurant I go to, that I can eat and stay low-cal. But Carlos' low-fat menu was not very tasty. I tried several items on it, and did not like them at all. The low-fat enchiladas were full of spinach and non-fat sour cream--YUCK!, and even the salad on that menu was not good, the low-fat dressing was horrible. So I started ordering the fajita cheese crisp, it's an appetizer, and it is truly delicious. But I don't think it's low-cal at all. It has a butter-garlic sauce that must be super high in calories and fat, and the fajita is so crispy, it's probably fried. I tried to only eat 3 of the 6 pieces of it, but usually ended up eating that 4th piece because it was so good. I can't find a nutritional guide for Carlos on-line. I thought chain restaurants had to post their calorie, etc. content according to stipulations in the new Health Care Bill. But Carlos doesn't. I wish I knew how many calories were in that new salad. Every summer they have a contest among the chefs in all their restaurants and pick 4 or 5 winners to feature on their menu. This salad is a contest winner. I sure hope they put it on their permanent menu! The only drawback is probably the dressing, it is not a light vinaigrette, so who knows how many calories are in it? There's no cheese on the salad, but I know those dried cranberries are high caloried. I'm hoping it's not over 500 calories total. AND....I only ate 2 chips with salsa. That right there is a victory for me!
For dinner, we went out yet again, because Du is bowling with grandson Duncan in a summer parent/child league. They are both loving it, and it is fun to go out to eat afterwards, like we do all fall, winter and spring on Thursday nights after the guys all bowl in an adult league. This is Duncan's first attempt at organized bowling. A few years ago we got him a bowling ball for his birthday. He didn't use it much and son told me it cracked right down the middle, so for his last birthday in Feb. (he turned 7), he asked for a Batman ball. We got it for him, boy was it expensive! But he is getting good use out of it, bowling regularly in a league. We're hoping he can get into a junior league this fall too. He improves every week--last week his 3 game series was a 50, and this week he had an 87. There's still a lot of gutter balls, but he is definitely getting the hang of his dad's favorite participation sport.
We went to Cheddar's for supper last night. It is not my favorite place, although I did find a salad the last time that came topped with grilled pears. It wasn't bad. This time, I noticed the menu has a "Lite" section. That was nice to see. Of course I gravitate towards steak, when it is offered, and sure enough they had a garlic Parmesan sirloin steak that came with a wedge of lettuce and low fat ranch dressing--only 440 calories! It was delicious. The steak came on a bed of caramelized onions, which I used to hate, but have grown to love. They were almost sweet.
Do you ever wonder if those calories that restaurants list for dishes on menus and on-line are 100% correct? We go to Ruby Tuesday's a lot too, and I always order from their lite menu. My favorite at lunch is their petite sirloin lunch, it is about 2-3 oz. of sliced sirloin, their delicious cheddar mashed potatoes and I substitute green beans or asparagus for the broccoli (I am SO TIRED of broccoli), and it is under 400 calories. But sometimes my helping of cheddar mashed potatoes is a little bigger than other times. Of course I always eat all of them--but I'm afraid perhaps it is more calories than their listing indicates.
Sometimes I think I do better, eating-wise, when we go to a restaurant than when I cook at home. I always try to make healthy dishes, but sometimes I make things that are too high caloried for me to consume much of....and then I go ahead and eat too much of it anyway. So yesterday, was probably one of my better days. I had a small 100-calorie bag of pretzel crisps, as a snack in the evening, and a bowl of cereal for breakfast, so without knowing how many calories were in that salad from Carlos O'Kelly's, I still think I came in close to 1,200 calories for the day.
I got my FitBit Zip in the mail yesterday and got it set up this morning. I can't wait to see how many steps I get in today and how many calories that burns. It is supposed to be super hot today, close to 100, so might have to WATP with Leslie in my living room instead of walking with Lola down the road. But then it is to be back to the mid-80's tomorrow and the rest of the week, so walking in the morning should be cool enough.
Monday, June 10, 2013
Last weekend was devoted to two little girls (my darling granddaughters) and their participation in the dance recital, which was a culmination of nine months of weekly dance classes. It was a lot of effort and work, and they made us get those little girls made-up, (MAKE-UP on 3-year olds??) Thursday night for dance class (as practice) and then again full make-up, hair and costume for dress rehearsal on Saturday, since that's when they took pictures, and of course again on Sunday for recital. What a time!
I fixed Amber's hair Thursday night for dance class, and together, Mia's mom and I did their make-up. That was a challenge. I sprayed Amber's hair and used lots of bobby pins and I thought her little bun looked pretty good. This is a picture of both girls made up, with their hair in buns before dance class.
For dress rehearsal Saturday afternoon, however, Amber's mom did hair and make-up for Amber. Oh my goodness, I had forgotten how talented my daughter-in-law is.
Amber's hair was perfect....her mom gelled it after washing it, and only had to use a few bobby pins which weren't even visible, to hold the bun. She used bright red lip stain on her lips, which was perfect for an event like this, when you were looking for something vibrant to show up in pictures and on stage. She tied the bow in the back of Amber's costume so beautifully, all the other mothers were asking for her to tie their daughters' bows! And lots of the other moms were asking her advice about make-up too! She did this trick with their tulle tutu-skirts, "combing" it with her fingers, that smoothed the fabric beautifully and it laid so nicely. Amber's mom is one of those people who is multi-talented. She was a math major in college, works with computer programs, is a wonderful writer (even though she says she hates writing), and is very very artistic. I told my oldest son privately, that his wife is very talented and his daughter looked perfect, which she did. Mia's mom is a wonderful lady as well and did her best with Mia, who was also a doll, if not quite as perfect as Amber.
I was extremely proud of both little girls Saturday and Sunday, and had tears in my eyes as I watched them do their "Cookie Monster" dance at the recital.
My daughter-in-law took some pictures of me with both the girls at rehearsal Saturday and I'll write another blog and post those pictures when she sends them to me. For all her wonderful qualities, "getting around to doing things" is not one of her strong points, but I know she will eventually share the pictures from her camera with me. If not, I know where she lives!!
Thursday, June 06, 2013
I have written about this before. It took me a long time after my 175-lb. weight loss to get rid of those old FAT clothes. I felt like I was tempting fate, as if when I gave them away it would mean I'd gain all the weight back. For the same reason, I waited a very long time to get my wedding rings made smaller.
Well so far....so good. The new smaller clothes all still fit, and so does my smaller wedding ring. About a week ago I finally grabbed ALL my spring/summer clothes out of the closet in the spare bedroom, took the winter clothes out, laid them on the bed in there and put the spring/summer clothes in the closet in my room. But there was still quite a few clothes hanging in that spare bedroom closet--too many so that the winter clothes that were laying on the bed, would not fit in there. I have two spare bedroom closets, plus a rack in my laundry room, all of them full of old clothes. I bought a lot of clothes on my way down the scale too, and that's most of what I had hung on to. I thought the original clothes, from when I weighed 328 pounds were all gone. But yesterday I finally decided it was time to get organized, so I could get those clothes that were laying on the bed, back in a closet.
This was a multi-step effort, and when I say steps, I mean STEPS. I was up and down my steps about 20 times---going UP to my bedroom and the spare rooms, and then DOWN to the basement. I know my legs sure ached last night. I took clothes from the basement and bagged them up to give away, then moved the clothes from one spare closet downstairs, while going through them too, and giving many away. THEN....I moved the clothes left in the primary spare bedroom closet into the second spare bedroom closet, leaving room for all my winter clothes that were laying on the bed. PLUS....I found way too many clothes that I thought were already gone.....Size 5X pants, Size 30 dresses, occasionally I would hold them up in front of me and reminisce about the day when those fit. It's hard to even imagine being that big now. My daughter-in-law came out about a year ago and went through a lot of the clothes I bought as I lost weight. I know it was silly to do that, but it was so exciting to fit into smaller sizes, to finally be able to wear a 4X from the mail-order catalog (many of the styles I liked were not available in 5X), and eventually be able to fit into 3X's which were actually sold in some of the stores! How could I resist being able to walk into a store and shop in the Women's Plus section, when for years I had only been able to order on-line? I couldn't! I've always been a clothes hound, and as I lost weight I certainly rediscovered that passion. Even now I have a hard time NOT buying MORE clothes while I'm out shopping, even though, I already have more clothes than I can wear.
I plan to keep my ONE before outfit, the one I'm wearing in my picture holding the bouquet of flowers. I also couldn't throw away the outfit I wore to my two son's weddings. But everything else WENT or at least, got moved to a less convenient closet! I finally feel organized, at least in that one small area of my life.
I used to switch my spring and fall wardrobes and silently pray that when the new season arrived the clothes I was putting away would still fit. Yesterday my prayer was the same, but also included a prayer that Du would still be feeling good, capable of going to work, and still able to walk, come next Fall.
Sometimes I think this cancer diagnosis is just a bad dream. For now, Du feels so good and everything seems normal. Over breakfast this morning, while he was reading his morning paper, he mentioned an ad he saw for someone selling two cemetery plots. He has done this before, years ago. I always said I wanted to be buried in one of the old cemeteries in town, Wyuka so he always looks for want ads from people selling their plots. In one of my favorite author's (Bess Streeter Aldrich) books, "A Lantern in Her Hand," which is about pioneer days in this part of the country, she talks about the new cemetery in Lincoln, called Wyuka, which is an Indian word for "A Place to Lie Down and Rest." I always liked that, I told Du about it, and he never forgot. But before when Du would talk about buying a plot there, I resisted. Finally I told him I hate to talk about dying, to even think about it. But now we have to think about it. We need to plan and make arrangements and it is so scary. My son asked if we had made a will. NO. We have done nothing. We talked about it, once, but never did anything. I know we need to have a serious conversation about these things, but I just don't think I'm ready yet.
I try to reason with myself, to tell myself this is part of life. Nobody gets out of here alive. Someone commented on one of my posts that a large percentage of woman will be a widow at some point in their life. Someone else said that dying is a part of life that nobody talks about much. I wanted you all to know how much I appreciate your comments. I read every one and even if I don't respond to all of them, I consider every one of them to be helpful advice from good friends. And when you read about it or hear about this kind of thing happening to someone else, you feel badly, but you don't really understand the reality of it. I am still trying to come to terms with the fact that I will be alone much too soon. I think what scares me the most, however, is the fear of him becoming ill and weak. He has always been so strong, and is my rock, taking care of me our whole almost 43 years of married life.
So perhaps getting organized in this area will be my next project. I just wish it was as easy as organizing my closets.
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