_SARIE_   8,109
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"You can't hate your way into loving yourself"

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Today was not a very strong day. I got a gym membership at LA fitness here in town, its more upscale than the other gyms around here and I have been apprehensive about going. Long story short, I didnt even make it out of the sink area in the change room. I had everything set to go but i felt so inadequate being there. Im sure the people were nice but it was overwhelming. I just cant handle big crowds especially at a place where everyone seemed to look their best. Beautiful women with amazing figures, post-workout hair that looked better than when I spend an hour on mine, perfect complextions. We should not compare ourselves to others and its a ball in my court that i am trying to deal with but it just seems that that isnt a place for someone like myself. But this wont deter me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DO4FIT 12/16/2014 10:16PM

    It can be so intimidating, but in the end you are all there to get your sweat on, feel better and get that endorphin kick. Just keep that in mind!

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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 12/16/2014 7:38PM

    Hang in there. You do belong and I would wager that if people there look at you (and they might not be because people can get very self-absorbed) they see you as strong and vital and inspirational.

Remember: "My world may not be stable, but I can be stable within it."

We should stop trying to think of places in the world as being "for us" or "not for us" because that helps to perpetuate a sort of fat ghetto. Believe me, I feel a lot of pain just leaving my house, but I also think I have a right to take up some room in this enormous universe. So do you! I am proud of you for joining a gym that will provide a lot of challenge and work-out opportunity.

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The app is DOWNLOADED and I am BACK!

Monday, December 15, 2014

I am so tired of saying the same thing at the beginning of every blog so let's get through it quick: I am baaaaack! ! We had an incredibly tremulous summer that I do not ever want to go through again. Non of the races I signed up for got done because of how things happened and due to circumstances beyond my control. But the girls and I are happy, healthy, and there's little more we could ask for. I feel very blessed that I have no put any weight back on. I still am hanging around the 145-150lb range. I have noticed though that my body seems to be settling into its new shape. This weekend past I joined a gym - a proper gym - and I am very excited to see where it will take me. Guess it's time to think about setting new year goals and evaluating the ones that have passed. Can't wait to catch up with everyone!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DO4FIT 12/15/2014 10:00AM

    WELCOME BACK!!! missed you around here! Sorry to hear about your summer, but awesome news on maintaining!

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44 days?!

Saturday, April 05, 2014

How the heck has it been 44 days since I last logged in?! Oh my god.

Things have been crazy - I'm not even sure where to start. I've been working hard at college to get good grades. I've dealt with a few sexist remarks but they seem to be more out of ignorance than true sexism. I'm one of the top in my class. I've also been executing some personal projects at the campus - including creating course related events and having rep's from companies in so we can get free product. I installed my first toilet!

Every day I'm in contact with potential employers - I've been trying hard to get my name and face out there which means a lot of job-shadowing and ride-along's, and interviews and on-site meetings with journeymen. I've got three potential employers right now and the DND; I've been hired on by two of them but its still only a trial period. This is HUGE, by the way. To put this into perspective... from what I understand, most students are still only typing up their resumes.

I have final semester exams coming up starting this week and I'm trying to wrap up my final project of the semester - getting everyone some tools at a discount from a local supplier that I've built a reputation with.

SO NEEDLESS TO SAY! it has been busy!

I've been working out, but not tracking it. I wish it was more but I do what I can. I'm also focusing on building muscle rather than losing weight. I've kind of been trying to accept that I'm never going to look like what I want to look like - not because I cannot reach my goals but because they're just not realistic. I'm not built like a model and I will never function like one - therefore I will never look like one. That skinny, frail, perfectly tanned and toned woman that I've always idealized as being the ultimate goal isn't the ultimate goal after all.

^ No matter how hard I wish, I'm just not built like Paulina Gretzky

I also have not lost anymore weight - actually not in a while. Not sure I've plateau'd, but maybe my body just doesn't want to go any lower. I've never been skinny so I'm not sure my body knows what to do at a low weight. When I get below 150, I'm uncomfortable - constantly hungry, moody, grumpy. I'm pretty steady at 151-152. As long as I can hold here for now, I'm ok with that. Especially while I'm trying to build muscle mass.

I miss you guys and look forward to catching up. Cheers to the future.

P.S. I downloaded the C25K app today for my phone - my first app ever! - and look forward to getting back into running for the season. t-minus 3.5 months until mud hero 2014!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DO4FIT 4/5/2014 8:59PM

    sounds like you have been doing great! Way to get yourself out there and getting your feet in the door at places!

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DMEYER4 4/5/2014 8:39PM

  sounds like you have been really busy. I am happy you are okay with your weight. If you feel good that is all that matters

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ROBBIEY 4/5/2014 8:37PM


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End of January!

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Wow it's been a whirlwind month! Things have been very busy with college, I'm getting right into it all. Of course theres been some other things with the girls and just the every-day challenges. I've been making it top priority to go to the gym. I'm still doing yRide (and collecting pledges!) for February 22. If you'd like to donate, please private message me or comment and I can send you the link :) I'm very excited, I feel good. I'm really appreciating being at a satellite campus of the college. It's nice to walk down the hall and know everyone and not feel like it's so big that I'm a nobody. I'm not sure about weight, I believe I'm down three pounds but that could definitely just be water weight. Hope everyone is rocking their New Year. Just because it's the end of the month doesn't mean you can let things slide! :D

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DO4FIT 1/25/2014 10:17PM

    Glad to see things are going well! Hope it continues like this for you!
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Happy New Year!

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

Happy New Year everyone! We made it past week one. My resolutions are proving to be harder than I thought and I could list all kinds of excuses as to why but the core of it comes down to lack of effort on my part, which I don't mind owning up to. Nothing like a good reality check :)

Things have been busy, I'm doing some major crafting for the girls birthdays at the end of the month, school started this week but its been blizzard weather so most of the roads, schools and businesses are closed. I'm also trying to support a family I know through the death of a loved one (not the ones that I mentioned late last year, however they seem to be doing better). It's been crazy. :)

I have been trying to get in as much activity as possible, I joined in a plank challenge with a group of mom friends that I have but I seem to forget about those kinds of things after a few days lol. Absent minded mom-ness :) I'm trying to hone in my eating but it's been a challenge, my sugary-food intake is up again and I need to clear some stuff out of the house.

It's nice to see so many people on here reaching their goals and putting in the effort, very inspirational! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DO4FIT 1/7/2014 9:27PM

    just keep trucking! You can do this girl!

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PJ2222 1/7/2014 9:22PM

    emoticon emoticon

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