_RAMONA   43,135
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_RAMONA's Recent Blog Entries

Buck Books PALEO Promotion TODAY Only!!!

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

They are HERE!!!
buckbooks.net/#sale

I just now purchased my books... great sale... except for the one book at full price... didn't get that one... I'm sending a message to the author to get with the spirit of the event (if I really want it, it will still be full price tomorrow, LOL).

I also looked through the other Paleo Kindle books available, and got a few other titles for under $2 each!



From Todd Dosenberry 'Primal Toad':

Dearest Buckamaniacs...

I'm very pleased to announce that the Paleo Event is live and ready for you at long last. But don't hesitate to go in there. These books will disappear at midnight central time (GMT -6:00).


Kaboom!
buckbooks.net/#sale


These events are never short on drama though! Holy cow! One price hasn't dropped from $9.99, and another dropped and then went back up over $7. Huh? So we've substituted a couple of books out temporarily for those until the prices change. So check in repeatedly today eh? Musical chairs up in there.

Also, be warned that not all of the books on there could be priced to 99 cents. You know the whole file size deal with cookbooks (lots of high-res images). If the file sizes are too large, Amazon won't let them go below a certain price. For some reason I thought traditional publishers were immune to this, but...

I was wrong :(

...But kudos to Victory Belt, the publishing company that has supplied so many of these amazing books at THE lowest prices they can be reduced to. Some of them are over $30 in print, and you can get them for $1.99 and $2.99 today!

Now let's get in there and repay them and all of these authors for being so incredibly kind and generous. If it's a huge success, we'll be having another one like it in 2015 with more high profile Paleo titles to complete your collection.

Go check them out HERE:
buckbooks.net/#sale





Check out the confirmed list:






































































This is not your ordinary bundle sale.

You can pick and choose which of these books you want for just 99 cents each. How cool is that?!

They are Kindle versions but you do NOT need a Kindle to read Kindle books! You need... an internet connection!

This is a ONE DAY sale... TODAY!




buckbooks.net/paleo-books/


(Ramona here: I use Buck Books for great deals ALL of the time!!! I have been buying books through BUCK BOOK promotions in conjunction with Amazon for months now with no problems... though Canadians pay a smidge more (sigh)... just so you're aware. )






























I pray someone is sweetly and enthusiastically loving you, TODAY, too!!!

My dear SPARKling friends, despite the continuing roller coaster that is life, may today and every day bring to you a ridiculous abundance of whatever you need. May you find peace within and all around you. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith and desire... a desire which even itself issues from God. May all your concerns, struggles, anxieties and fears fall like ashes as you rise on eagle's wings, SOARING above all that would hinder you along this tremendous adventure of being and becoming all you are created to be. May you answer your call and use those gifts that you have received to pass on the love that has been given to you. May the presence of God settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love beyond your wildest imagination. May you be overwhelmed by the grace of God as it simply "overtakes" you moment by moment... rather than being overwhelmed by the cares of life!

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}
Ramona








...Because PEACE, JOY, and HOPE will draw near in abundance when mindful, intentional, balanced living is my focus!

So, JUST DO IT.

UNTIL.





UNTIL. (My 'Just Do It' blog)
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=3541059



'BEFORE' Pictures (May 31, 2009 - September, 2011) & Continuing PROGRESS (February 2012)! Next pictures... who knows when, LOL!
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=2108514

(I'm now keeping these right under my nose... in addition to being part of every blog I post, they are printed off and taped to my bedroom mirror... and I update whenever I feel the need... to either see for myself what feel like significant changes, or to encourage myself to keep the faith when I feel no change at all despite my efforts)


I've Reached My Goal Weight!!!!!!!
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=2108522

NOTE: My weight tracker is NOT a truthful representation of my weight. Instead, I am using it as a tool to help me visualize my goal as though it's already been achieved!
(Tom Venuto)


DONE Girl Love...
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=3694266

(the footsteps into which I place my own feet)


Why I'm STILL here... my SparkJourney Saga
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=1656330



Words CAN Be Enough... page 4
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5745766












Paleo... Do you really know what you're talking about?
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=4964697



In Answer to Your Questions (Letter to Our Family Regarding Our Nutritional Plan: RESEARCH LINKS)
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5484209



Comparison Chart: Primal/Paleo/Ancestral, etc.
www.eat-real-food-paleodietitian.com
/support-files/dietcomparisonguide.pdf



What Does It Mean to Be Fat Adapted?
www.marksdailyapple.com/what-does-it
-mean-to-be-fat-adapted/



What Does It Mean to Be Fat Adapted? (Part 2)
www.marksdailyapple.com/what-does-it
-mean-to-be-fat-adapted-part-2-qa/#axz
z2q1LlNKZ4



Gender Differences in Fat Metabolism
www.marksdailyapple.com/gender-diffe
rences-in-fat-metabolism/#axzz2q1LwWzrG



Motivation Is Out, Mindfulness Is In – Why Motivation Doesn’t Make Lasting Changes
www.girlsgonestrong.com/why-motivati
on-doesnt-make-lasting-changes/












  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUNEAU2010 11/29/2014 10:09PM

    Awesome!

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NORWOODGIRL 11/27/2014 9:55PM

    Phew! Almost missed it. But I bought 2 of the books and have subscribed so I won't miss any opportunities emoticon

Thanks for the reminder!

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ICECUB 11/25/2014 6:33PM

    THANKS FOR THE INFO. emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 11/25/2014 2:52PM

    HUGS my dear. Thanks for the information.

HUGS and prayers.

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PRIMAL Test Drive... FREE Books/Book Excerpts

Wednesday, November 12, 2014


www.marksdailyapple.com/download-pri
mal-blueprint-ebooks/?awt_l=K5_zk&awt_
m=J4S0xMGq4xWvYa#axzz3ItLLf6oB


PASSWORD: PBFPBINTROPDFS













My dear SPARKling friends, despite the continuing roller coaster that is life, may today and every day bring to you a ridiculous abundance of whatever you need. May you find peace within and all around you. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith and desire... a desire which even itself issues from God. May all your concerns, struggles, anxieties and fears fall like ashes as you rise on eagle's wings, SOARING above all that would hinder you along this tremendous adventure of being and becoming all you are created to be. May you answer your call and use those gifts that you have received to pass on the love that has been given to you. May the presence of God settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love beyond your wildest imagination. May you be overwhelmed by the grace of God as it simply "overtakes" you moment by moment... rather than being overwhelmed by the cares of life!

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}
Ramona








...Because PEACE, JOY, and HOPE will draw near in abundance when mindful, intentional, balanced living is my focus!

So, JUST DO IT.

UNTIL.





UNTIL. (My 'Just Do It' blog)
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=3541059



'BEFORE' Pictures (May 31, 2009 - September, 2011) & Continuing PROGRESS (February 2012)! Next pictures... who knows when, LOL!
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=2108514

(I'm now keeping these right under my nose... in addition to being part of every blog I post, they are printed off and taped to my bedroom mirror... and I update whenever I feel the need... to either see for myself what feel like significant changes, or to encourage myself to keep the faith when I feel no change at all despite my efforts)


I've Reached My Goal Weight!!!!!!!
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=2108522

NOTE: My weight tracker is NOT a truthful representation of my weight. Instead, I am using it as a tool to help me visualize my goal as though it's already been achieved!
(Tom Venuto)


DONE Girl Love...
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=3694266

(the footsteps into which I place my own feet)


Why I'm STILL here... my SparkJourney Saga
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=1656330



Words CAN Be Enough... page 4
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5745766












Paleo... Do you really know what you're talking about?
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=4964697



In Answer to Your Questions (Letter to Our Family Regarding Our Nutritional Plan: RESEARCH LINKS)
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5484209



Comparison Chart: Primal/Paleo/Ancestral, etc.
www.eat-real-food-paleodietitian.com
/support-files/dietcomparisonguide.pdf



What Does It Mean to Be Fat Adapted?
www.marksdailyapple.com/what-does-it
-mean-to-be-fat-adapted/



What Does It Mean to Be Fat Adapted? (Part 2)
www.marksdailyapple.com/what-does-it
-mean-to-be-fat-adapted-part-2-qa/#axz
z2q1LlNKZ4



Gender Differences in Fat Metabolism
www.marksdailyapple.com/gender-diffe
rences-in-fat-metabolism/#axzz2q1LwWzrG



Motivation Is Out, Mindfulness Is In – Why Motivation Doesn’t Make Lasting Changes
www.girlsgonestrong.com/why-motivati
on-doesnt-make-lasting-changes/













  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAZZII4 11/25/2014 7:43PM

    emoticon emoticon I purchased a couple of books, myself.

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ALEXSGIRL1 11/16/2014 12:04PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NORWOODGIRL 11/13/2014 10:24PM

    Thank you!

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EDDYMEESE 11/13/2014 1:17PM

    Thank you for the post - great timing! I NEED to get back to Paleo and this is a great way to start!

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NEW-CAZ 11/13/2014 3:10AM

    emoticon blog as always Ramona emoticon

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RITZIBROWN 11/13/2014 1:56AM

    Thank you for the very helpful information.

emoticon emoticon

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IAM_HIS 11/12/2014 9:13PM

    WooHoo, this is a great help to me...you are awesome!!

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FEEDTHEHUNGER 11/12/2014 8:52PM

    Thank you for sharing the link to Mark's Daily Apple goodies -- he has a great website.

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JUNEAU2010 11/12/2014 7:50PM

    Amazing quote at the end!

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ICECUB 11/12/2014 6:02PM

    thank you for sharing what a wonderful message.

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1CRAZYDOG 11/12/2014 5:26PM

    Thank you for the abundance you continue to share. HUGS, peace and blessings.

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BOO!

Friday, October 31, 2014

"One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing material place."

EMILY DICKINSON






Everyone who knows me knows just how much I detest Halloween.

I have spent most of my conscious life trying to simply survive the day. Halloween, in my experience, is a day too many people use to excuse any and all behaviour regardless of how hurtful, selfish, or egregious, while costumes and masks create an inherent lack of accountability.

(I hate Mardi Gras, too... crime rates spike dramatically on these two days.)

However, my efforts over the years to live the day with some sense of comfort have begun to bear fruit over the last few years. I've discovered that there IS a true-hearted basis for the inclusion of this day in my life and in my faith... and for me, THAT makes all of the difference.

Halloween or 'All Hallows' Eve' is not a liturgical feast on the Church calendar, but the celebration has deep ties to the Liturgical Year. These three consecutive days: Halloween, All Saints Day and All Souls Day, illustrate the Communion of Saints. We begin with the Church Militant (Halloween, October 31 - those of us saints on earth, striving to get to heaven... the macabre a symbol of our sinfulness and human weakness), as we move on to rejoice and honor the Church Triumphant (All Saints Day, November 1 - the saints, canonized and uncanonized in heaven), while in the midst of it all we pray for the Church Suffering/Penitent (All Souls Day, November 2 - those souls who have died separated from God's love by unresolved pain in their hearts and souls). The month of November remains devoted to this act of love in acknowledgement, through prayer, of our oneness in struggle and in faith.

Halloween is the preparation for the two upcoming feasts. Although the daemonic and witchcraft have no place in church tradition, some macabre can be incorporated into Halloween. It is good to occasionally dwell on our impending death (yes, everyone dies at one point... even if 50 is the new 30), on the Poor Souls who have died without a sense of resolution to their lives and without an understanding of just how much God loves them, and on the sacrament of the Sick. Tied in with this theme are the saints, canonized and non-canonized (we are all saints at various points on the journey toward perfect love). What did they do in their lives that they were able to create in their lives an on-going communion with perfect love? How can we imitate them? How can we, like these saints, prepare our souls for death at any moment?

It gives me a great sense of wonder, awe, and grace to ponder these ideas, and suddenly it all makes sense in ways it hasn't for so very many years.

My search to make some peace with the day began (as it usually does) with the loving act of a friend who didn't even know of my yearly struggles, yet sent me a reason to finally look upon Halloween with a new vision....





"Being a person of Faith is like being a jack-o-lantern.

God lifts your pumpkin self up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you.

He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff – including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, envy, suspicion, rage, worry, confusion – anything that gets between you and His love.

Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside you to shine for the whole world to see."





My pumpkin self is still hanging' in there...





...But most of my past few months have felt a lot like this...



(I'm the little pumpkin...)


(...and my head feels A LOT like the one being carried by the horseman...)


...and it's not any one thing, it's the perfect storm of so many things... it's the human frailties that cause stress in all of our lives, it's everything within me that still needs the touch of God's deep and abiding peace on my heart and soul (not to mention that October has been overwhelming at every practical turn). October and November are my months to struggle on every level... battle actually (mentally, emotionally, spiritually)... and mostly God and I win each year, but the daemons always get a little too close (I inevitably get a little singed around the edges)... lately my nightly dreams leave me exhausted, bewildered and uncertain of myself.

I realize I sound awfully cryptic, but to say more right now is to upset my hard won and carefully balanced peace for the moment... and I need to hold on with all my might to the peace and blessings of the last couple of days... tomorrow we live the 'Church Triumphant' and I am claiming for myself triumph over the darkness with everything I have in me.

We continue our overwhelming balancing act... every day seems to be a tapestry of the most exquisite and impossible choices (woven together by grace)... where every moment reflects a conflict of priorities (how do you prioritize love?). My FIL's brother died this week - the first of eight to go... the funeral is Saturday. We are racing the snow to get all of our yard put to bed for winter (we were supposed to get snow this week, but it thankfully passed us by this time). We're hoping to clear enough space to take a short family holiday over Remembrance Day... though I'm not sure I have the energy for all it would take to make that happen. I feel the breath of Advent upon me already... I pray I can be present for all of the wonder it brings.

Despite everything, we LAUGH a lot... I hope you are able to claim the same!

I just wanted all of you to know that I AM HERE with you in spirit... that you are always in my prayers, and that I am rooting for YOU with every conscious act I continue to embrace toward better health and well-being, despite the struggles.

Always, I pray God's most tender touch inside your life and heart, as he scoops out all of the yucky stuff that gets between you and the love you deserve in your life... the love of self as the most perfect creation that you are, the love of others, and Perfect Love deep and abiding through all things. I pray you feel the deep, soothing, glowing warmth of that light within you, and that your own journey continues to bring to you an ever greater awareness of just how brightly you are meant to shine.

Happy Autumn & God Bless!





"If a man harbors any sort of fear, it makes him landlord to a ghost."
LLOYD DOUGLAS





I AM DONE living a life shaped by my fears.
I WILL live a life shaped by love of myself as God's most wonderful creation, and His unfailing love for me.
I WILL live my life as though I cannot fail; a life defined by consistency of effort; a life shaped by my passions and inspirations; finding the reasons to overcome, and find healing in, all that is keeping me from living the life I was created to live.

I AM DONE apologizing for who I am, what I want, what I need, or for my capabilities.
I WILL at every opportunity, celebrate who I am, what I want, what I need, and my capabilities.

I AM DONE living to satisfy the comfort level of others, while neglecting my own authenticity.
I WILL speak with my own authentic voice, and that voice will resonate in my choices, in my actions, and in the fruits of my effort.

I AM DONE lying to myself, and as a result lying to others.
I WILL be truthful with myself, no matter how uncomfortable or painful, knowing that the truth really will set me and those I encounter in this life, free.

I AM DONE backing off, backing away, backing down and backing into.
I WILL walk on despite conflict, walk toward in faith, walk up to with acceptance and compassion, and walk directly toward with conviction.





"Behind every self defeating behavior in your life is a lie that you are believing." RICK WARREN







...Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.
- REINHOLD NIEBUHR -









...No matter your circumstances, fly, my SPARKling friends, FLY!!!





  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NDKARIKARI 11/12/2014 8:39PM

    Hi Ramona,
I always read your blogs, but never comment. Today I want to say thanks for your thoughtfulness. Your blogs are always thought provoking AND resourceful. You are appreciated!

Also, thanks for the download password. I just downloaded some books and excited to read. emoticon

NDKARIKARI

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JUNEAU2010 11/9/2014 4:33PM

    I'm sorry to learn of a death and a funeral. I am headed to Missouri for the celebration of life for my "adopted" mom. I am speaking and am not sure I'll get through it without tears. I'll be offline for the duration, too. emoticon

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JUNEAU2010 11/5/2014 4:14PM

    When I was a child, I hated halloween. It was not fun to be scared, I could not see at night and Mother let me be only a witch, when she deemed I was good enough to even participate. As an adult, I have done my best to ignore it. Once, I dressed up as a purple cat and acted, for me, way over the top and had a good time. Now, the worst thing is the downfall that candy can present, especially chocolate.

I wish you deeper peace, continuing joy and that wellspring of gratitude that makes the sun shine in those darkest days.

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BERRY4 11/1/2014 6:38PM

    emoticon
Glad to know your pushing through and fighting the fight that this life journey entails. -- It would be nice to "have each other's back," so to speak, but it is what it is...

Sorry for the struggles and the nighttime difficulties. May you find light at the end of the tunnel... (NOT an oncoming train!).
emoticon


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NORWOODGIRL 10/31/2014 10:31PM

    Thanks for sharing, _Ramona. I have always hated Halloween, too, and appreciate the new perspective. Your blogs are always wonderful!

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RITZIBROWN 10/31/2014 10:22PM

    God bless and watch over you emoticon . Thanks for explaining the 3 days. I mentioned it to DH and he "uh hued" me. I learn more about Catholicism from you then from him. I'm curious; we'll talk about this sometime.

Great blog. Mind opening and getting to know you better. Thank you dear one.

ps Great pictures with the last being oh so true. emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/31/2014 10:23:55 PM

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ICECUB 10/31/2014 7:40PM

    I REALLY ENJOYED THE PUMPKIN PICTURES.

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1CRAZYDOG 10/31/2014 4:16PM

    "Being a person of Faith is like being a jack-o-lantern.

God lifts your pumpkin self up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you.

He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff – including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, envy, suspicion, rage, worry, confusion – anything that gets between you and His love.

Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside you to shine for the whole world to see." My dear, this is awesome!

Glad you are hanging in there. You are an awesome woman, an awesome person of faith, an awesome friend.

HUGS



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KAREN608 10/31/2014 4:09PM

    Well thought out! When you blog, oh wow, you blog!

I will pray for you, God's will for your life.
What more can we ask for?!

We can do this!!!

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FMIAYLA 10/31/2014 8:35AM

    {{{{HUGS}}}}}

I miss you so much.

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A_RARE_BEAN 10/31/2014 7:54AM

    Ramona I have missed you so much! Your blog blew me away and I love the jack o lantern analogy. Even when things are difficult for you you inspire which is such a gift you have. I really wish there was something I could do to make things a little easier on you, I wish you nothing but good things and say yes yes yes to your I AM done list. Love you just as you are so let it continue to shine forward, you are a light. Hugs to you and wishing you peace emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FEEDTHEHUNGER 10/31/2014 7:17AM

    What a wonderful, well-written meditation on these holidays. My prayer for you is that you receive exactly what you need today to enhance and bless your progress.

emoticon

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DMEYER4 10/31/2014 6:38AM

  wonderful blog thanks for sharing

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BONNIEB1947 10/31/2014 6:19AM

    The world is full of wonderful blessings; I am wishing many for you. I pray you have peace and joy today and I thank you for your heartfelt words. Find a patch of grass to stand in barefooted and be one with the earth; look up into the sky to feel God's love coming down to you and ignore the manmade things for a moment that are discordant and distracting. Sit with an animal and stroke it's head and feel your heartbeat slow. Everywhere there is the possibility of peace. Open yourself to it, and it will heal you. emoticon

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NEW-CAZ 10/31/2014 4:01AM

    emoticon blog Ramona! emoticon emoticon

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PRAIRIECROCUS 10/31/2014 3:15AM

    emoticon photos !
They really helped to convey your powerful message !

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PRAIRIECROCUS 10/31/2014 3:13AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
Fantastic blog !
Incredibly well-written !
emoticon

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For Women Only: The Weight Loss Solution On-Line Summit

Wednesday, October 08, 2014


women.paleohacks.com/registration/

GREAT video, and registration HERE:
women.paleohacks.com/registration/#s
thash.moMy7O5y.dpuf




This is your invitation to the most in-depth, life-changing women’s weight loss event of 2014!

40 of the foremost weight-loss experts on the planet come together to reveal:
• the real secrets to melting stubborn fat faster
• stopping premature aging in its tracks
• softer, younger skin
• creating youthful, abundant energy
• and so much more!

As you watch each FREE presentation inside For Women Only: The Weight Loss Solution, you’ll discover:

• Why your thyroid may be to blame for your weight gain (and how to fix it)
• The truth about digestion and fat loss…
• How to get your kids making the right food choices on their own…
• How to lose 20 pounds effortlessly in a month…
• The remarkably satiating food that stops bingeing and overeating…
• How to ‘cheat’ with desserts and still lose weight…
• How to conquer emotional eating disorders…
• Simple body “hacks” to balance your hormones…
• How gluten really affects weight loss…
• The surprising link between fat and fat-burning (it’s not what you think)…
• How to beat your sugar addiction
• How to heal autoimmune diseases that are stopping your weight loss in its tracks
• The #1 dangerous exercise to avoid
• The amazing truth about how bacon and chocolate can keep you happy AND healthy…
• and much, much more!





Your host: Neely Quinn
www.neelyquinn.com/





Also, check out:

Some GREAT PINTEREST Boards:
www.pinterest.com/paleohacks/


10 Reasons Why You’re Not Losing Weight By Neely Quinn
(44-page Guide)
s3.amazonaws.com/Paleohacks1/
10ReasonsYouArentLosingWeight.pdf








I've already registered! How about you?!?
(...and praying that I can make the time to actually attend, lol!)







Life continues to roll on... and in some moments roll over me a bit... but I'm managing to keep my head above water most days, even though I fall into bed exhausted, with my heart heavy (yet also strangely light), my mind overly full of details, and with a growing 'must postpone list'. SIGH.... though I am defending my personal minimums: 10 minutes exercise, maintaining the decluttering I've done so far... moving forward is 'on hold', and up at 6:00 AM... truth is, if I hadn't already established these habits, I'd be completely 'done in' at this point... I'm so grateful for having found some keys to balance for myself before all of this hit.

I haven't been blogging because I just cannot become a whiner at this stage of my life, LOL... I also cannot pause to think too much about any of this, or I'll never get back up.

Right now, when I look ahead and consider how far away "life as I want it to be" or "goal anything" is, I feel trapped, anxious and overwhelmed. I wake up every morning for the last nearly three months, and even before I open my eyes I feel the crushing weight of everything in front of me... and if I were to give in the least little bit (or, as I said, slow down to think about it too much), I know I'd just stay in bed... or look for ways to dull my senses (I'd probably choose Bourbon, lol). I go through my days feeling as though each minute is eternity itself... time itself, seems simultaneously relentless and standing still. How does that happen?

I'm trying to give myself little mini-vacations as I go along this very unpredictable and exhausting path I'm on... an hour here, an hour there (even though I feel like I'm stealing it)... giving myself the gift of fun/rest/fantasy/calm... anything I want in the moment without judgment (no shoulds or musts or guilt)... as long as my choices for coping/feeding my soul don't derail my own sincere goals, and rob me of what I want for myself and my family, anything is fair game (we're still geocaching whenever possible.. usually en route to some obligation or another)... even though I'm very tired today... I got up to watch the eclipse this morning (last night?)... so peaceful, and so wondrous... my second in three months.

Something of which to make note: from a purely behavioral perspective, depression (numbing?) is anger turned inward. I must also confess, I'm on a continuous slow simmer over here... I am pretty angry about a good number of things, and I'm having to be very careful about keeping it real while also being constructive... more than anything else, I cannot swallow/stuff my anger, or I'll really be in trouble. I've been writing some pretty angry missives (and burning them), doing some stomping around, and venting (mostly appropriately... I'm a bit of a door slammer).

I'm trying really hard to offer to myself the same compassion I would offer to anyone else... it's an absolute certainty that every one of us would do a number of things differently if we had had our present experience to guide our younger (less overwhelmed) selves, but as Maya Angelou says: "You do the best you can. When you know better, you do/choose better."

I remind myself minute by minute that nothing is lost as long as we can find our way clear to choosing better bit by bit. Accelerating into the skid continues to help... so does being a strong family.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time... washing it down with an occasional glass of wine/whine helps, too, LOL!

...so do good and faithful friends. THANK YOU to those of you who continue to think of me, and check in on me. YOU brighten my days in ways for which I don't even have words. Every one of my days begins and ends with a prayer for each of you, and for the grace to be back here in full presence SOONER.

So, my dear SPARKling friends, despite the roller coaster that is life, may today and every day bring to you a ridiculous abundance of whatever you need. May you find peace within and all around you. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith and desire... a desire which even itself issues from God. May all your concerns, struggles, anxieties and fears fall like ashes as you rise on eagle's wings, SOARING above all that would hinder you along this tremendous adventure of being and becoming all you are created to be. May you answer your call and use those gifts that you have received to pass on the love that has been given to you. May the presence of God settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love beyond your wildest imagination. May you be overwhelmed by the grace of God as it simply "overtakes" you moment by moment... rather than being overwhelmed by the cares of life!

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}
Ramona

P.S. GRACE is as much a part of my current journey as is anything else... in many ways, it is the foundation.








...Because PEACE, JOY, and HOPE will draw near in abundance when mindful, intentional, balanced living is my focus!

So, JUST DO IT.

UNTIL.





UNTIL. (My 'Just Do It' blog)
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=3541059



'BEFORE' Pictures (May 31, 2009 - September, 2011) & Continuing PROGRESS (February 2012)! Next pictures... who knows when, LOL!
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=2108514

(I'm now keeping these right under my nose... in addition to being part of every blog I post, they are printed off and taped to my bedroom mirror... and I update whenever I feel the need... to either see for myself what feel like significant changes, or to encourage myself to keep the faith when I feel no change at all despite my efforts)


Measurements, Musings & Motivation to MOVE!
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=2108455

(UPDATED/rewritten: JUNE, 2012)


I've Reached My Goal Weight!!!!!!!
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=2108522

NOTE: My weight tracker is NOT a truthful representation of my weight. Instead, I am using it as a tool to help me visualize my goal as though it's already been achieved!
(Tom Venuto)


DONE Girl Love...
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=3694266

(the footsteps into which I place my own feet)


Why I'm STILL here... my SparkJourney Saga
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=1656330



Words CAN Be Enough... page 4
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5745766












Paleo... Do you really know what you're talking about?
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=4964697



In Answer to Your Questions (Letter to Our Family Regarding Our Nutritional Plan: RESEARCH LINKS)
www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=5484209



Comparison Chart: Primal/Paleo/Ancestral, etc.
www.eat-real-food-paleodietitian.com
/support-files/dietcomparisonguide.pdf



What Does It Mean to Be Fat Adapted?
www.marksdailyapple.com/what-does-it
-mean-to-be-fat-adapted/



What Does It Mean to Be Fat Adapted? (Part 2)
www.marksdailyapple.com/what-does-it
-mean-to-be-fat-adapted-part-2-qa/#axz
z2q1LlNKZ4



Gender Differences in Fat Metabolism
www.marksdailyapple.com/gender-diffe
rences-in-fat-metabolism/#axzz2q1LwWzrG



Motivation Is Out, Mindfulness Is In – Why Motivation Doesn’t Make Lasting Changes
www.girlsgonestrong.com/why-motivati
on-doesnt-make-lasting-changes/



5 Emotional Roadblocks That Are Keeping You Fat
www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motivat
ion_articles.asp?id=1969



The Myth of Loose Skin
www.bodyfatguide.com/LooseSkin.htm










  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHY4ME 10/21/2014 7:36AM

    I registerd and now cant get the talks, this happened to me before. I go to the email they sent me and all I get is register and cant get rid of that page. So I re registered and still can't get them.... do you know what to do or why? I didn't bother trying last time but man I would love to listen to the first and the cardio one not so much but yea the thyroid one would be good. Darn.

Never Mind Perseverence and duh!!! worked. Got it working now to go listen. lol HUGS

Comment edited on: 10/21/2014 8:39:19 AM

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_BABE_ 10/15/2014 1:59AM

    emoticon

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JKPONYGIRL 10/13/2014 1:52PM

    I'm sending you love and hugs and a little reminder to love and hug yourself. I know it feels like steeling, but those mini vacations are not only good for you, but they are good for everyone around you.
emoticon

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ALEXSGIRL1 10/10/2014 7:17PM

    Ramona I wish you more peace in your days and a easier lighter life. I have been going though a rough slide also. sometimes it's hard to keep your head above water . Keep looking for those little happy moments hugs many hugs my friend

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A_RARE_BEAN 10/10/2014 12:59PM

    emoticon

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JUNEAU2010 10/9/2014 10:16PM

    YOU are awesome!

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KAREN608 10/9/2014 4:28PM

    It is hard to give our concerns to God, isn't it? we take them back and say, no, really 'I'll" deal with them... NOT.

DH's work schedule has me up at 3:30am to get his coffee/breakfast/lunch ready, and he is up at 4am. He gets home 11 to 14 hours later, so who am I to complain? I can go back to nap. Yet, I am feeling the strain of being tired with the strange schedule.

I'm still counting calories and adding some exercise and in a challenge. It was weird as this past week I was at my worse but the scale went down.
Hang in there!

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SHEILA1505 10/9/2014 5:34AM

    Missed you
Big hugs


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NEW-CAZ 10/9/2014 2:58AM

    Amazing blog as always Ramona, with so much to contend with I'm surprised you're still sane. Keep taking time out for yourself, depression is hard to deal with hun emoticon

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AJDOVER1 10/8/2014 11:47PM

    Very interesting stuff! Thanks for sharing it.

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POSITIVEHOPE 10/8/2014 11:11PM

    My day was brighter when I saw your blog. Please, you never whine. You are so awesome and always so caring. The cost is high right now but when you look back you will have no regrets. Lean into the curve and into the loving arms of your DH. Hugs, my friend.

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SUBMOM2 10/8/2014 10:51PM

    I'm sorry you've had so much going on. Take it one day at a time, one hour at a time if need be.

Thanks for sharing the link to the conference. Sounds interesting!

emoticon

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FEEDTHEHUNGER 10/8/2014 10:11PM

    Thank you for your (always) thoughtful posting of resources and checking in. I hope that all the abundance and goodness you hope for others comes back to you 100 fold.

emoticon

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ICECUB 10/8/2014 8:23PM

    thank you so much for the info

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FMIAYLA 10/8/2014 7:36PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Thinking of you.

Now off to check out the conference.

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JOJOSLIVIN 10/8/2014 7:35PM

    thank you for taking the time to share this. You have such limited time as it is. Hugs to you and your family. Keep taking the little bits of time for yourself. Know we are all cheering you on for some peaceful time soon. Remember God doesn't give you more than you can handle. You got this all covered....Unfortunately He does think you are superwoman right now emoticon


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HEALTHY4ME 10/8/2014 7:27PM

    Thanks Ramona, I too went and signed up and just finished reading her beginning and the 44 page notes. I need this as today has been a super painful day, my back and my shoulder are so bad. Bad enough that if I didn't have to wait at ER for the entire day ( cos triage on a sore shoulder would be hrs) and then them say oh we can give you a shot, I may have gone. OH well I too am so tired...... But have to find something to do about it, my pain is scaring me and making me wonder about my abilities in the future. So losing weight can only help.

HUGS we will do this and remember someday we shall meet on my trip back across Canada or yours east! HUGS

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CONFIDENTLYFIT 10/8/2014 5:50PM

    Ramona,

Ah.... I am so sorry for everything you are going through. I am glad that what you have already accomplished (getting up early, 10 minutes of intentional exercise, decluttering, etc) is a routine that is helping you coast a little, without thinking about SP too much. Don't give yourself anymore "shoulds" right now.

Be gentle with yourself. This is an emotionally and physically exhausting time. I understand anxiety very well, and know the lists and lists of care-taking responsibilities bring the heart and soul wrenching pain that you described. You are right with the elephant analogy, but can you offer yourself a better tasting meal once a week? emoticon I am serious though, that having something to look forward to, once a week with MR, where you can be taken care of.... like a waiter at dinner, maybe?

Sometimes, my head got so full, I would go into a panic attack. I found that if I would allow/force myself to take a break and I would find some clarity and calmness again. I hope and pray that you can allow yourself 15-30 minutes a day doing something that lets you breath...clearing your head strolling in nature, bouncing, (kickboxing with punches used to help me) dancing to your favorite tunes, the quiet of the library, intentionally eavesdropping on conversations in a coffee shop emoticon , anything that will allow your busy, static-full, mind a rest!

Trust yourself, and trust the guidance that is available to you from the Holy Spirit. My prayers, love, and hugs surround you and your family,


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1CRAZYDOG 10/8/2014 5:20PM

    My dear Ramona, you are not whining. Blogging as you have can be very therapeutic! I hope you utilize it more as you see fit!

That said, sending MAJOR HUGS your way and wishing you [eace. Life can have very overwhelming events happen, and you're doing the best you can. That's all we can do.

Just know you're not alone and you in my thoughts and prayers daily.

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NEKOCHARM 10/8/2014 4:33PM

    Thank you so much for the info, Ramona! I followed the link and registered immediately, and then came back to read your blog post. emoticon

I so wish that everything had already calmed down. It sounds like you have a good handle on life right now, especially considering what you're having to deal with. Good idea to coast along for now with your new healthy habits, and not push yourself to hit any goals. I think that accepting our limitations is a part of this getting healthy process. And allowing yourself to just 'be' is one of the most loving and nurturing things you can do for you. emoticon

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JENNY888 10/8/2014 4:22PM

    I registered for the conference and hope I have some time to view the talks. Thanks for posting this link.

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