Thursday, November 29, 2012
19.5 weeks, 100 miles, and over 17,000 calories burned just in jogging/walking!
Happy birthday to me! Next goal is to average 365 miles from Dec 1, 2012 through Dec 1, 2013!
I GOT THIS!!!!!!!!
Friday, November 23, 2012
When I signed up on SP, I filled out my website registration, closed the page and forgot about it for a month. When I came back, I fiddled around with the meal tracker and also started blogging like mad. After I got over that initial few days of dragging my butt around, I regained my energy level and then got that amazing burst of energy that comes with a nice detoxed body.
I cruised along on this energy for about 4 months and it was amazing!
Then I don't know what happened. Life happened, I suppose. My beau and I have had lots of setbacks financially, and I have had some setbacks physically. I made it through problems with my knee, fell and twisted one ankle, followed by the other ankle about 10 days later...then my nice big fall in the road banging up both knees and peeling the skin off both palms several days after that. There have been days that I have been so stressed that I felt like I was climbing the walls, and my panic attacks are worsening again.
Today, I realized something. I probably will not live to be very old. I have treated my body very poorly throughout my life and I cannot get the stress under control. I hurt. All the time. In doing some checking online and I am pretty sure that one of my falls twisted the cuboid bone in my foot. At the moment I am not able to get to the doctor to have him check it out....so brilliant me decides that while I cannot afford a co pay right now...I will try to manipulate it back into place myself. The result being that now the area surrounding the cuboid bone feels much better, but I put a lot of pressure on my ankle joint...so I am still walking funny. Along with the heel spur on the other foot...well, I have been hurting from my feet clear up to my hips from walking funny.
Both of my ankles are swollen 24/7, sometimes I wrap them, sometimes ice, sometimes heat, always elevated when I am at home. I have tried pushing my way past the pain while walking/jogging, and I have tried not jogging at all. Nothing is working for very long. I am only moving now out of stubbornness and refusing to give up. I have backed my walking/jogging down to 1 mile at a time, but I am going out every day now. Funny thing is that my feet and ankles hurt LESS when I jog, but I am not able to keep up a slow jog for more than a tenth of a mile.
I will be hitting the 100 miles of exercise in a few days, it is my birthday present to myself. Actually, I will hit 100 on the day before my birthday with doing 1 mile per day.
I am VERY bothered and upset lately with not being able to progress past 5k, and now not even being able to do that much. Every day that I have to limp through a mile, or limp to the bathroom from the living room, I feel like my goals are slipping away. I accomplished my 5k goal within the timeframe that I wanted, now I am worried that I will not make my 10k goal by the end of spring 2013 and my HM....I feel like I should just forget that all together.
Soooo....if you have made it reading this far, thats my excuse for being MIA. I just needed a break. I feel like I am slowly failing in all that I had set out to do in this. I am back to those few days in the beginning, congratulating myself for being able to actually make it out of bed and drag myself to work every day. I feel like my diet has gone to hell, I spent a couple of weeks playing with the same 2-3 pounds, but I am pretty sure at this point that I have just put those 3 pounds back on. I am, however, making the effort to get my water intake back up and have been getting my fruit and veggie intake back as well.
I just wanted to check in and let y'all know I am still here and I will continue to cruise on my pigheaded-autopilot for now.
I. Will. Not. Quit.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
*Waves* I am still here!
I haven't been doing too much for the last couple of weeks, I needed a little break from everything. I still do, but am managing the best I can with what I have to work with. I haven't been doing much in the way of exercise OR eating, my feet and ankles continue to be a painful problem, I did a 5k walk/jog on Oct 30, and another on Nov 6, and nothing in between or since.
I eliminated about half of my feet pains by loosening my shoelaces a bit...who the hell would have thought tight laces would hurt that bad?!?! Hoping that Santa has a new pair of shoes in his budget for me, I am thinking (hoping) that will help even more with my foot pain.
I slacked off on my eating as well...my mind just needed a break from what feels like endless meal planning, on top of trying to eat perfectly on a very tight budget.
I am thankful that my beau is able to get in to work now....now I am just praying that he get lots of sales done because he works commission only! One thing at a time though. We have been through the rough before and we can handle it again.
With all that has been going on and my focus being mainly on not flipping out, I have actually maintained my weight, pretty much, I have been bouncing 2 pounds back and forth, but its something I can live with for now.
I even got up the nerve to try on some of the other jeans that I have hanging in my closet, and while many of them are comfortable to wear standing up...I would not be able to sit in them for 8 hours at work. My muffin top is just still too much when I sit.
I am so frustrated with only having one pair of jeans that fit and was hoping that with losing 31 pounds, I would be able to get in to something smaller. I was in a size 26, but they were stretchy so I am guessing they are more like a 28, because the 24's are just not going to work if I want to sit.
I also noticed that while I have lost lots of inches, they seem to be coming off from my whole body evenly, which means I still have the shape that I hate...I will be working on my tummy and hips next.
So far, I have dropped 31 pounds, and my cholesterol is just about normal. Oh, and I also dropped 5 points off of my BMI....my next project is working on my tummy and core muscles....I think I slouch when I jog...I usually stop every 3/4 to 1 mile and have to touch my toes and let my back pop, it pops all the way from my tailbone to my shoulderblades!
I will be postponing my official 5k. Kind of a bummer, but there will be others. At least I know that I am ABLE go that far, whether it is with a big group of people or alone. Thinking about beginning my work towards my 10k that I want to be able to complete by springtime.
Peace to you and yours.
Sunday, November 04, 2012
Finally...a break! My car got fixed today. I am so relieved and now recovering from this weekends panic attacks....make that about 6 weeks worth of panic attacks...
I made it to the drug store and got all my scripts and picked up a few things at the grocery store....way better than what we have been eating!
No exercise today, we spent several hours at the mechanic's and I forgot to grab my pears and peanut butter on my way out the door so I didn't have anything to eat until this afternoon, along with being a bit dehydrated from yesterday and this morning along with the panic, I had a killer headache by the time we got home, right along with a ton of muscle pain and the weird pains that I get occasionally that feels like my bones hurt.
I picked up a new filter for my water pitcher and have been trying to drink extra to get re-hydrated and flush out the extra sodium that I have had over the last couple of days.
I love my Zero Water pitcher, but when that filter is full...blech!
Saturday, November 03, 2012
Yes, for today, it is a question.
I went ahead and deleted my last blog because it was nothing but venting bordering on whining.
Suffice to say that I HATE being without a vehicle and I LOATHE being stuck! The car did not get fixed today and I sat around all day and waited for the mechanic to call...so I did not go jogging, I did not go for a walk, ate Ramen noodles (1600+ sodium), and have ordered Chinese food to be delivered for dinner.
Tomorrows plan is to wait until 10am to hear from the mechanic and if he blows me off again, I will go buy tools, a jack, and a jack stand and attempt to fix it myself. My son gets off work at 10 and he knows less about fixing cars than I do, but he has muscle that I don't.
Tomorrow is another day, I will either get exercise by working on the car all day, or the mechanic will be doing it and I will be going jogging afterwards. Either way, I will be able to get to the grocery store as well.
I will continue taking care of my beau, some days I have to take a step back and breathe...it is hard to take care of someone who is in a tremendous amount of pain 24/7, sometimes I have to remind myself that it is hard for him as well....not only does he have to live with it, but he ALWAYS goes jogging with me, the only two times he didn't go were because he was at work late. He always goes at my pace...which is nothing for him, he is a tiny bit overweight (although I think he looks perfect), but is one of those naturally fit and muscle-y people.
It is what it is and I can only do what I can do. Surely, tomorrow will be a better day and I can get back on track.
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