Tuesday, November 13, 2012
*Waves* I am still here!
I haven't been doing too much for the last couple of weeks, I needed a little break from everything. I still do, but am managing the best I can with what I have to work with. I haven't been doing much in the way of exercise OR eating, my feet and ankles continue to be a painful problem, I did a 5k walk/jog on Oct 30, and another on Nov 6, and nothing in between or since.
I eliminated about half of my feet pains by loosening my shoelaces a bit...who the hell would have thought tight laces would hurt that bad?!?! Hoping that Santa has a new pair of shoes in his budget for me, I am thinking (hoping) that will help even more with my foot pain.
I slacked off on my eating as well...my mind just needed a break from what feels like endless meal planning, on top of trying to eat perfectly on a very tight budget.
I am thankful that my beau is able to get in to work now....now I am just praying that he get lots of sales done because he works commission only! One thing at a time though. We have been through the rough before and we can handle it again.
With all that has been going on and my focus being mainly on not flipping out, I have actually maintained my weight, pretty much, I have been bouncing 2 pounds back and forth, but its something I can live with for now.
I even got up the nerve to try on some of the other jeans that I have hanging in my closet, and while many of them are comfortable to wear standing up...I would not be able to sit in them for 8 hours at work. My muffin top is just still too much when I sit.
I am so frustrated with only having one pair of jeans that fit and was hoping that with losing 31 pounds, I would be able to get in to something smaller. I was in a size 26, but they were stretchy so I am guessing they are more like a 28, because the 24's are just not going to work if I want to sit.
I also noticed that while I have lost lots of inches, they seem to be coming off from my whole body evenly, which means I still have the shape that I hate...I will be working on my tummy and hips next.
So far, I have dropped 31 pounds, and my cholesterol is just about normal. Oh, and I also dropped 5 points off of my BMI....my next project is working on my tummy and core muscles....I think I slouch when I jog...I usually stop every 3/4 to 1 mile and have to touch my toes and let my back pop, it pops all the way from my tailbone to my shoulderblades!
I will be postponing my official 5k. Kind of a bummer, but there will be others. At least I know that I am ABLE go that far, whether it is with a big group of people or alone. Thinking about beginning my work towards my 10k that I want to be able to complete by springtime.
Peace to you and yours.
Sunday, November 04, 2012
Finally...a break! My car got fixed today. I am so relieved and now recovering from this weekends panic attacks....make that about 6 weeks worth of panic attacks...
I made it to the drug store and got all my scripts and picked up a few things at the grocery store....way better than what we have been eating!
No exercise today, we spent several hours at the mechanic's and I forgot to grab my pears and peanut butter on my way out the door so I didn't have anything to eat until this afternoon, along with being a bit dehydrated from yesterday and this morning along with the panic, I had a killer headache by the time we got home, right along with a ton of muscle pain and the weird pains that I get occasionally that feels like my bones hurt.
I picked up a new filter for my water pitcher and have been trying to drink extra to get re-hydrated and flush out the extra sodium that I have had over the last couple of days.
I love my Zero Water pitcher, but when that filter is full...blech!
Saturday, November 03, 2012
Yes, for today, it is a question.
I went ahead and deleted my last blog because it was nothing but venting bordering on whining.
Suffice to say that I HATE being without a vehicle and I LOATHE being stuck! The car did not get fixed today and I sat around all day and waited for the mechanic to call...so I did not go jogging, I did not go for a walk, ate Ramen noodles (1600+ sodium), and have ordered Chinese food to be delivered for dinner.
Tomorrows plan is to wait until 10am to hear from the mechanic and if he blows me off again, I will go buy tools, a jack, and a jack stand and attempt to fix it myself. My son gets off work at 10 and he knows less about fixing cars than I do, but he has muscle that I don't.
Tomorrow is another day, I will either get exercise by working on the car all day, or the mechanic will be doing it and I will be going jogging afterwards. Either way, I will be able to get to the grocery store as well.
I will continue taking care of my beau, some days I have to take a step back and breathe...it is hard to take care of someone who is in a tremendous amount of pain 24/7, sometimes I have to remind myself that it is hard for him as well....not only does he have to live with it, but he ALWAYS goes jogging with me, the only two times he didn't go were because he was at work late. He always goes at my pace...which is nothing for him, he is a tiny bit overweight (although I think he looks perfect), but is one of those naturally fit and muscle-y people.
It is what it is and I can only do what I can do. Surely, tomorrow will be a better day and I can get back on track.
Thursday, November 01, 2012
I am fairly pleased with how October turned out for me weight-wise...I dropped 6 pounds for the month, 4 of that 6 was in the last couple of days...since I just blogged about that particular event, I will just leave it be.
I ended up at 600 minutes of exercise for October, which makes another month with even less minutes, I started out with 767, then 619, and now 600. I am still hoping to move my count in the other direction with the cooler weather being in my favor...I don't sweat much and when I am trying to jog/walk out in the heat, I just broil myself.
I went out a few days ago when it was just 40 degrees out there, I wore a t-shirt instead of my usual tank top and it was WONDERFUL! Now, if my feet and ankles will cooperate!
I am also hoping that as I continue to lose weight, I will have less pain in my ankles and feet. I walked/jogged 5k the day before yesterday and could not have done anything other than come to work and go home yesterday.
I have been rice'ing my feet and that have improved but I still have a LOT of residual pain.
Its weird how my priorities have changed...I am not sure how the effect sits with me just yet...I feel VERY selfish since I started taking care of myself. I talk non stop about MY jogging, about MY 5k's, about MY pounds lost, about MY calories, etc...
In some ways, I worry that its taking over, not only my life, but my personality as well. Maybe not a bad thing, maybe not a good thing. I often wonder just how tired people are of hearing me go on and on about it. I mean, skinny people who were always skinny don't seem to do that.
Why is it that I feel the need to blab on about it? Why does it seem to take up most of my waking moments? I am a pretty organized person...I know exactly where my workout clothes are, I know that they are clean and that I have plenty of exercise socks, I know where my yoga band is that I use for stretching out, but I always feel like I have to find my hour a day to be able to get outdoors. I mean...I have the exact same 24 hours in a day that everyone else has, right?
And speaking of 24 hours...I dream about running as well, it started when I first set my goal of a HM in fall of 2013, and I think its the longest recurring dream I have ever had...its not always exactly the same, but its close. The biggest thing is that I am running and able to run pain free. In my dreams, it feels GOOD, and not just that glorious endorphin high that I look forward to now, lol! It strikes me as odd because when I am actually awake and jogging or walking, my pains are always in my feet and ankles, but in my dream, my focus is on just how good my thigh muscles are feeling to be working. Always, in the past, when my pain followed me into my dreams, I hurt in the same place in my dream.
So now my days are filled with fussing over eating too much, or not enough, meal planning, cooking and fretting over what food to bring to work for lunch, when and how long I am going to work out, getting out there and then fussing over my recovery time and how much pain I will or won't be in the next day, etc...
How the heck do people manage this and still have time for anything else?
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
I weighed in at 279 pounds this morning and realized that I am now down by 31 pounds....which puts me at having lost 10 percent of my starting weight!
Somehow, I dropped 4 pounds over the last couple of days...well, not, somehow, I know how, it's been the extra stress lately. When I am over stressed, I under eat. I have been trying really hard to keep my calories on target though. Also, when I am nervous, I move around a bit more....not voluntary movement, like walking, its involuntary like shaking hands, bouncing legs, and I also spend a lot of time with clenched fists, etc....not to mention that most anything is immediately moved through me by my digestive system.
Granted, this is a most unpleasant way to drop pounds, and it may not stay gone, but for today I am at 10% and thrilled about it!
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