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Wondering if I have bitten off more than I can chew....

Sunday, October 07, 2012

No pun intended.

My goals are to do a 5k by the end of the year, a 10k in the springtime, and a half marathon by fall of 2013.

I am wondering if I am asking more than my body physically is able to do.
So far, I am able to WALK a 5k.
In my c25k program, I have not been able to progress past week 2. I was able to jog for 3 whole minutes ONE time, in all these long weeks. I went for my first jog/walk on July 3, 14 weeks ago.
Granted...I CAN tell a difference between then and now and I KNOW I am much improved, but except for that one single time of jogging for 3 minutes, I usually don't make it much past 1.5 minutes.

I don't understand why either. I know that I have had a few falls and other assorted mishaps, but they are livable, I know that I am still 285 pounds and that is asking a LOT of my lower joints and muscles...and I know that I shouldn't compare myself to anyone else, BUT I see people who weigh more than I do and they don't seem to have any problems.

Today is also the first time in a LONG time that I punished myself. I MADE myself walk 5k, just because I my body did not WANT to get out the door to do even 1 mile. I keep telling myself that my body needs to do what *I* want it to do because I am the boss now.

But the whole time I was out there, I was wondering if my goals are unrealistic or will EVER be realized.
I have a 5k picked out for November 21 and all I can imagine is me having to walk the entire thing. I haven't even dared to imagine how I will accomplish a 10k and a HM at this point is almost unthinkable.

My mindset tonight is that I am not afraid to try....but I am terrified of failing.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YESCURLYCAN 10/9/2012 3:16AM

  Mobii you got remember that you have made great progress in this battle. You couldn't do what you are doing now and walking a 5k is emoticon, be proud of that. You gotta walk before you can run right? The other thing is that it seems like you are "wondering if you have bitten off more than you can chew" right now because you do indeed have a fear of failure and by "punishing yourself" you participating in a little self fufilling prophecy. See if you punish yourself, and then get injured, you will say "see I failed!". Basically its like sabatoge.

Don't punish yourself with the extra exercise. Thank your body for carrying itself the distance while weighing what it weighs. Thank your body for being strong and capable to do 5k's in the first place. Be kind to yourself. I think those goals aren't far fetched. We believe in you, so how about believing in yourself? emoticon

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UP2ME_CC 10/8/2012 6:35PM

    So what if you end up walking the entire 5K; at least you're out there.

I will make a prediction. After the 5K you will tell us that you jogged/ran 1/2 of the race.

emoticon emoticon

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IM2READY 10/8/2012 4:52PM

    Don't be terrified to fail because if you keep trying you are not failing yourself. It may take a few tries but you will succeed. You don't want to hurt yourself either because you will have to restart again when you are better. Push yourself just enough you will succeed. I think you are an inspiration and I admire your pushing through! emoticon emoticon

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FIT@401 10/8/2012 10:19AM

    I to have that same goal. My first was to run a 5k in August. Did not happen. The second was to run a 5k this coming weekend. That is not going to happen. But I do know I will be to this goal. Each week I find myself getting stronger and having more energy as the weight is dropping off. You will find this also. I started where you are now in terms of weight. Just keep working at it and you will find you can achieve it. I have a friend who was pushing herself and she has a stress fracture in her foot and has been on crutches since 7/4/12 and not able to walk or run. So I say do what you can and just keep moving you will get there.

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POSITIVELY_EB 10/8/2012 9:16AM

    emoticon Be easy with yourself! By "easy" I mean that pushing is one thing - punishing is quite another. Even SparkGuy will only do 10 minutes if he's not feeling up to it!!!


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SHOES17 10/8/2012 2:23AM

    YOU CAN DO IT!! Hang in there .... I got so busy writing a blog you inspired, I just now got back here to comment! You can do it!! Chew slowly...

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FEMISLIM 10/7/2012 11:01PM

    Take it easy,. Walking a 5k is amazing enough. If you keep walking and the weights keep going down, you might eventually find the jogging easier. Don't stop trying but don't push yourself into injury. It is well with you.

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NEWKATHYNOW 10/7/2012 10:36PM

    Slow and steady usually gets you there. If you push yourself you're risking an injury and that would sideline you a while. There's no shame in walking part of it if you have to. You're out there doing it and that'a what counts!!

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GETSALONG 10/7/2012 9:31PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon2 people come to mind... ~Indygirl who walked her 1st 5 k with a walker, i think... and Ontovictory... not sure if he walked it or partly or at all but he has built up and is now training for ironman! I *think* even if you end up walking, that's ok, it's important to respect your body & push enough, but as beth says, not push yourself over!!! (or into injury :) The rest will come as you keep at it! Hang in, you'll get there, 1 way or another, even if that means adjusting your goals tailored to your real needs ~ that's not failing... it's realistic & when you do get there, it will be Sparktacular! & partytime to celebrate :)

Comment edited on: 10/7/2012 9:34:43 PM

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.DUSTY. 10/7/2012 9:28PM

    Punishing yourself is just not right! You should rethink that.

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Reclaiming my kitchen!

Saturday, October 06, 2012

Since the room mate started moving, I got to put MY kitchen back together how I like it!
I washed out the fridge and filled it up with healthy food...I think it looks B-E-A-UTI-FUL!

I also got all my grain jars washed and filled back up, looking all pretty on the countertop. I am SO glad the junky food is gone, healthy stuff looks so much prettier! I love having my kitchen back!

Amaranth and quinoa, speckled beans, flax meal, flax seeds, steel cut oats and wheat mix for mornings, and jasmine rice....my favorite!

Oh, I tried something new for breakfast today as well....I made french toast using 15 whole grain bread...in the waffle iron! You make everything the same but cook it in the waffle iron instead of frying it. I got the idea from ravenous.runnersworld.com/#
The only thing I added to the recipe was a few drops of almond extract...it was super yummy!

I hope y'all have a great weekend!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RITA61MOODY 10/9/2012 11:55PM

    No more junk food emoticon
That means less temptation ! !

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SHOES17 10/7/2012 10:05PM

    emoticon That looks so good and I love almond!! My kitchen is soooo jealous!!

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ADARKARA 10/7/2012 7:23PM

    that french toast looks delicious!

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LADYPIXEL 10/7/2012 12:14PM

    I'm working on my kitchen. It'll come together eventually. :) Good for you!

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YESCURLYCAN 10/7/2012 2:05AM

  Love the french toast in the waffle maker idea and your kitchen looks great. It's so nice having things the way you want them emoticon

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POSITIVELY_EB 10/7/2012 12:34AM


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MAHGRET 10/7/2012 12:22AM

    Thanks for sharing, now I feel inspired to clean and arrange my kitchen. Also to make french toast in my waffle iron!

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GETSALONG 10/6/2012 10:31PM

  emoticon Luv the sparkly kitchen overhaul! French toast in wafflemaker ~ what a clever idea! Thanks for sharing!

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Finally, Finally, FINALLY!!!!!

Friday, October 05, 2012

I stopped at the store after work...something I have been trying to put off due to...well, a lot of reasons. I got a text from my beau while I was there "guess who is moving out this weekend."
Thank God, the room mate has started to move her stuff! She took her bed and about half of the stuff in her room and will be getting the rest tomorrow.

We were out walking tonight while she was moving her stuff, my brain keeps trying to tell me that I am a bad friend for not offering to help her load stuff into the car....but then again, I would never take advantage of a friend the way she has, so, I really don't feel bad.

I had intended on walking 5k tonight, but we had a truck that passed us twice and was spraying for bugs (PeYew!), we finally resorted to walking back and forth in front of the apartment for awhile and watching her move stuff out. I was worried about a couple different things, for one...she has my desk in her room, a desk that she moved into her room "for one night", which was a several months ago...and I don't want it walking out the door with her. My anxiety got worse and worse until I finally told my beau that I was done with walking for the night. I don't think it would have been so bad if I had not been burned before, I have had room mates walk out with my things, things my dad gave me, my dishes, etc....I even had one walk out with every single bit of food in the house, down to the last can of beans.

I got 1.88 miles done with a 19'44 pace. I started out with my elastic ankle/foot braces on, thinking I would be nice to my ankles and before we got a half mile, the bottom of my right foot and ankle were screaming! I pause my Nike app and yanked the brace off...it was IMMEDIATE relief!
I can't wait until I get to the doctor on Monday so he can check it out, at this point, I would even take a shot in it, if that would help!

Things on the food front are going pretty good still, I got a bunch of good-for-us-stuff at the store today!
I also got a couple of sweet treats...I have been doing very well with portion control and have never had a problem with binging. I have a bigger problem overeating carbs than I do with sweets.

Tonight's dinner was turkey Italian sausages with baked tater tots (sweet tots for my beau) and some roasted fresh broccoli, and dessert was 2 devil's food cookies at 50 cals each, yummy! I had them along with some really good hot tea that I found. Its made by Lipton, its orange blossom hibiscus flavor...decaf and it has rosehips and other good stuff in it.

Now that I have my kitchen back to myself, I can get all my good stuff back in order. I have all of my grains and seeds back on the counter in their pretty jars, flax, amaranth, jasmine rice, flax meal.
I also have my big jar of a mixture of steel cut oats, wheat, flax seeds, and groats that I make in batches for breakfast throughout the week. Pop a couple cups of that stuff in the rice cooker and set the timer for the next morning...its perfect! (I don't even make rice in that thing!)

I have to work for a couple hours tomorrow and then when I get home, I am planning on cleaning out the fridge and moving all of our stuff back from the little fridge into the regular one. (she had so much junk food in there we ended up buying a small camping fridge just for our healthy food.) We will put the little one to use by putting our pre-made containers of food in there, then all we have to do is grab and go in the mornings before work!

My beau and I have a lot of hard work to do to catch things back up financially, but I am sure we can do it. We have been through rough times before and I am sure that we will get through this one as well.
We can do anything together.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWKATHYNOW 10/6/2012 8:38PM


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POSITIVELY_EB 10/6/2012 9:40AM

    I've been in your situation and am so glad you finally got your home back! You will enjoy it all the more for the experience!!!


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GOULDSGRANITE 10/6/2012 9:17AM

    My Mama always said, "There's no house big enough for two families". In my life, it sure has turned out to be fact! Glad to see you are getting a fresh start bump! My DH and I face tough financial times and we usually end up playing our own version of "survivor". Keeps it a little more fun to be broke, ya know?!? emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ADARKARA 10/6/2012 8:02AM

    I've had some horrible roommates! I had two at once that hated each other and waged a war against each other. I moved out a week before the one, and when I got the electric bill for that month it was $800!!!! FOR ONE MONTH! He'd had the heat turned up to 85 the whole week! I swore I would never live with ANYONE I was not sharing a bed with. =P

Glad your stinky roomie is moving out. =) *hugs*

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UP2ME_CC 10/6/2012 8:00AM

    It sounds like you got just what you deserved......your freedom! emoticon

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JENAE954 10/6/2012 7:33AM

  Looks like you will be doing the happy dance this weekend.
Room mates can be a problem.
Had one years ago who was in her early 70's.
She didn't tell me she was a sex addict.
There were men coming and going all the time. Pardon the pun.
It took an act of congress to get rid of her and it was a costly experience for me as well.

Good luck with the doctor on Monday.
Please keep us posted.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 10/6/2012 7:34:15 AM

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FATBASTICH 10/6/2012 7:31AM

    Good to hear all around!

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DREAMINGIRL 10/6/2012 7:25AM

    Glad to hear that things can get back to normal at home for you again! I like your "little fridge" idea with pre-made stuff! Sounds like you have a good plan, and just remember....you're sparkfriends are just a click away!!!! And....now maybe you can walk at more ease today, knowing that you have less stress! emoticon

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Its that time of year again!

Tuesday, October 02, 2012

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOULDSGRANITE 10/3/2012 10:58AM

    Thank you!!! emoticon

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GETSALONG 10/3/2012 8:13AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

(i luv winnie the pooh too & blustery days, lol.. have a gr8 Oct! :)

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FATBASTICH 10/3/2012 5:32AM

    save second base is my favorite slogan. though I'll admit I thought you were going to talk about honeycrisp apples finally being available again! :)

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POSITIVELY_EB 10/3/2012 12:12AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MAHGRET 10/2/2012 10:00PM

    Thanks for the reminder.

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The 3 R's...Recap, Resolve, and Renew

Monday, October 01, 2012

September is completed.

1- Complete 1500+ minutes of fitness.
I fell even shorter on this goal than I did last month with only 619 minutes. I missed 12 days of exercise in September...so I improved by one day but my average times were shorter.
I know it is better than nothing, and I KNOW it has been a difficult month (6 weeks actually), for me with falling and whatnot, but to sit here and say that...it sounds and feels like a copout.

All I can do is what I can and as long as I am continuing forward, I can accept it.
I am renewing this goal yet again for October.

2- Lose 7 pounds.
I lost 3....I am not sure what to say about this. My first instinct is to be disappointed, but I am just glad that I lost any.

3- Lose 2 more inches from my waist.
I lost 1 inch...I'll take it! (Again!)
The goal is still 2 inches for October!

Since September's routine was not effective to my satisfaction, my new change-ups are:

1. Jogging/walking every other day, so will be out 3 days one week and 4 days the next.
2. Distance we will be doing is 5k every time, no more 1.25 miles at 22-24 minutes each.
3. Every OTHER day that we go out, I will be doing jogging intervals as long as I am able. I should be able to jog a bit longer each time.

I feel that I am doing quite well in what and how much I am eating. I will have to try to find time to track it again though, because I think that I am actually coming up short on calories most days...which might be causing my body to hang on to everything.

In other news...
I have a doc appointment on Monday, I plan to ask him to check my hearing...because everyone else mumbles, lol!
I also need him to check on all my bumps and bruises from falling...I actually have several unexplained bruises, I know I got them when I fell but they are on my shins, which I did not hit.
Also on the agenda is having him check on my knees, ankles, and right foot, I am worried that I have either another heel spur or plantar faciitis. He can give me a splint, or tell me how to massage it (tennis ball isn't working), or give me a cortisone shot....what he is NOT allowed to do is tell me to stop jogging or walking.
Yes, I know staying off of it, or off of hard surfaces is probably going to be the answer, but he will have to work around that one! Besides, all I have is hard surfaces to walk on...we have concrete floors at home, so another treatment will have to be found.

The room mate should be moving out at the end of the week, she pretty much let us know last night that she would not be coming up with any money any time soon and gave us a vague 'when I have money, I will pay you back' statement.
She did offer to sell my son a sofa that she has in storage for his apartment though....I went over there and verified that I heard correctly...to SELL it to him and I told him over my dead body. If he decides that he needs one, we will help him get one.
We have come to terms that we got screwed yet again for helping someone, and we will just mark one on our 'we're too nice for our own good' slate and move along.
C'est La Vie!

I am happy that October is finally here. Autumn is my favorite time of year, I am always more at peace in the fall for some reason.
As I sat at work today with the door open and smelling the clean air, I couldn't help but thinking what a perfectly fall day it is! It was cloudy and cool this morning but the sun peeked out here and there during the day. The wind picked up for a little bit this afternoon so that I could hear it blowing through the equipment outside which always reminds me of Winnie the Pooh and the blustery day!

Enjoy your cooler temps, changing leaves, pumpkins, and take advantage of the great outdoors!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENAE954 10/2/2012 9:06AM

  Sorry you are having a rough bump in the road.
Room mates can be trouble when they have a sense of entitlement.
Life gives us many opportunities to learn and grow if we pay attention.
Sounds like you did. Congrats!

Now about the muscle and joint pain you are experiencing...
I am a rehabilitative massage therapist and have found a non-addictive way to help the pain.
This is not to advertise but just to share what has worked for me and many clients.
It is a cream called Sombra. It comes in both 'cool' and 'warm'.
I use the 'warm' one all the time.

Results are really great and being in constant pain for years have finally found relief and it is all natural.
If you are interested, look it up on line since you will probably have to order it online.

Wishing you the very best. Please keep me in the loop. Want to know how you are doing.

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YESCURLYCAN 10/2/2012 3:03AM

  *warning long comment ahead* lol

Your re-vamped goals sound great and September wasn't too shabby either. Every
time I read a blog I think, "woohooo! She is running!". That is a major accomplishment. emoticon

I have had plantar fascitis and got rid of it on my own. My podiatrist wanted me to do 6 weeks of physical therapy and I passed because I used to be a massage therapist, so I could do that myself. If you do have PF, then the night splint of course is great, and ice will be your best friend; trust me. Get an empty water bottle and put it in the freezer. When frozen, place it on the floor and roll your foot over it. I did this all the time. You get a massage and it brings down the inflammation. You should do this for about 10 minutes at a time, no longer. Also get into the habit of stretching your calves and foot. In the morning (when PF is the worse, hence the night splint) take a small towel or belt, and wrap it around the top of your foot, then gently pull your foot toward you. This stretches the band that runs along the bottom of your foot. These methods will greatly inprove the condition. I have not had PF come back, and it has been 6yrs. Good luck Mobii

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FIT@401 10/2/2012 1:48AM

    The tennis ball didn't work for me. A friend gave me a golf ball and that worked better for me. It hurt when I was using it but it would eventually loosen it up.

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KAREN608 10/1/2012 11:40PM

    Your heel: have you tried GOOD insoles? I don't mean wally world el cheaps or dr what ever they are, useless really...I mean better ones like
Spenco PolySorb Total Support Premium Insole

amazon has? like $30 but really good. That brand has lesser models of varying thickness. I bought some 15 yrs ago and we still buy them once in a while. Long lasting. I just ordered some for hubby. Since we are really big people, running insoles really help our heels.
Hope the tip helps. I would never give up my insoles!!!

I love autumn also. Keep to your goals, one day at a time.

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POSITIVELY_EB 10/1/2012 10:10PM

    I love fall, too! The smell of the leaves and the sights and sounds!!! Just wonderful!


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