Saturday, March 15, 2014
I am here and I am doing alright.
I am still complaining regularly about things that I 'cannot eat'...using quotes here because while I am sure that I CAN eat them...I feel like I shouldn't because I lack self control about certain items. For me and my mindset right now....it is easier to not have these things at all, instead of having a tiny bit of them and then taking it away. THAT is what makes me feel like I am depriving myself. I am just trying to keep my thoughts away from my triggers.
I have been very short on calories for several days this month, but have been tracking and doing a little better. I am still under my minimum according to SP, but my minimum was just moved up when I started my job because I had myself listed as sedentary, and now I am moderately active because I am on my feet and walking a lot at work.
I have been trying very hard to work more calorie-dense (and nutritious) foods into my diet as well since I still don't have too big of an appetite.
Work has been going pretty good, I have been trying to pick up extra hours as often as I can. This weekend is crazy though...we are having a Star Wars event and people were just insane today! The cos player outfits are outstanding and I love seeing all the little kids when they see Darth Vader or Chewbacca! Chewbacca scared the diaper off of a poor baby though, not on purpose, he just tried to give him a card and when the baby reached for it, he reached first and THEN looked up and saw this 'thing'...I thought he was going to start screaming so I hugged Chewie and pet his arm and we told the baby how nice he was and that he could pet him like a big puppy...which he finally did!
I don't have any pictures to post yet because I can't have my camera out at work, but my beau is coming with me tomorrow and I will give him my phone to take pics. When I have my uniform on, I can't pose for pictures, but I might be able to change after work and get some! I am hoping that my sister and family decide to come tomorrow too, I think my nephew would love seeing all the cos players as well as all the Lego stuff!
I had an issue with one of my managers today and will get it taken care of Monday, but after work I was so MAD, I was thinking about how I used to handle it. I would insist that since he was acting like an a-hole, I deserve to go out to dinner or something nice like that....and I realized that I didn't WANT to go out for junk to eat. I have spent long enough acting like a dog and giving myself FOOD for REWARDS.
Well....I'm NOT A DOG!
I am a person and I will be happy/sad/po'ed/mad/whatever and just DEAL WITH IT!
The big girl undies have been donned and I am ready for whatever I need to be ready for because it's 'game on....
Do you hear that, Life?
Thursday, March 06, 2014
I have decided that I need more hydration, and by "I", I mean, my doctor and my blood tests say that I am dehydrated (among other things).
I had been doing really well with my hydration for a long time, then when I started with drinking coffee first thing in the morning, I struggled a bit. When I started my job in January, one of the 'policies' is that we drink out of a company branded sport while at work.
Don't get me wrong, I understand branding, also the fact that a sport bottle doesn't spill if knocked over, but I have also come to realize that this thing only holds two cups of water and I cannot seem to drink enough water to keep myself hydrated. Not only is it small, but I do better when I can gulp my water down. My (not company branded) water bottle holds a bit over 3 cups and has a wider mouth on it that I can actually drink from.
Since I have been sick and drinking a LOT of hot tea, I started bringing in my own water bottle, thinking that if pressed about the matter, I could always say that I wasn't sure about the other one holding up to the heat for my tea. But today I noticed that I am not the only one who doesn't use their sport bottle...there is even one guy there who is a gym-rat and he drinks water straight out of a gallon jug, lol!
So I have decided that if it becomes an issue, I am just going to cite health reasons and hand them a copy of my bloodwork report!
Today went pretty good at work. I am definitely feeling better since I got some solid sleep last night with no coughing...I only had a bit of a cough today, until this evening that is. I was sitting at dinner and as I was swallowing, I got a tickle in my throat. I tried to cough into my napkin and could tell right away that wasn't going to work. I bolted from the table into the restroom and started coughing like I was trying to eject a lung. It was to the point that I couldn't draw a breath back in and my chest started to tingle and finally I forced myself to pull in a breath of air.
This kept up for a few minutes but seemed like a lot longer and I was a bit worried about passing out and maybe braining myself on the commode...how tacky. I can almost picture my headstone epitaph "She brained herself on the toilet and ruined dinner for everyone".
Needless to say, I managed to save myself, but am not feeling as froggy as I did this morning. In all honesty, all the effort kinda sapped my little energy reserve that I had today but I really had to get on here and blog about my water issues, lol!
Wednesday, March 05, 2014
OMG! I am still sick and I sound like ^ that when I talk now! I have been sick for...ten (?) days now? I don't know. However many days it is is that many days too long!
Sorry if my blog zigzags from subject to subject, but I have a lot of cold medicine running through my system right now, lol!
My 10 hour shift last Saturday actually went ok and I would have kicked some serious booty if I had not been sick.
I was a bit perturbed because they kept moving me around and then I was put on the register because everything was broken and the girl who was scheduled didn't want to deal with it.
The bottom line is that we need a new computer up there. It kept locking up, overheating, and shutting down...even with a big fan in the cabinet with it.
I heard today that we actually got the new computer, but it hasn't been set up yet, I am hoping they will have it set up when I get in tomorrow.
While I am on the subject of work....I decided today that all of my co-workers (the ones who share my workstation) are oinkers. I know I am picky about how neat my work area is, but would it kill someone to take out the trash or pick up the bits of paper off the floor once in awhile, sheesh!
I actually had to call in to work on Monday because I was feeling THAT badly. I LOATHE calling in to work, but I was up all night coughing and trying to force my lungs to work that there was no way I could make it in. I ended up sleeping most of the day. Even though I have been progressively getting better sleep at night, I am still exhausted most of the time and have been trying to take it easy on myself until I can get rid of this cold.
Our weather has turned bad again, snow and cold, so that means cab rides to/from the bus. Expensive, but the weather should get better within a couple more weeks and then I can walk or bike.
I still haven't made a decision about the lap-band program. In all honesty, I have been too busy being sick and babying myself to really sit and research everything on it. One thing the doctor wanted me to do is to get rid of some of the carbs in my diet....white rice, white bread, pasta, etc.
Boo I say, BOO!
But I did it....well, I have done it for a week so far.
I don't much like it, and have voiced this opinion pretty much at every meal, lol! My beau just tells me "You didn't like it last time either, but you liked the results."
Seriously though, it really isn't THAT big a deal, or it wasn't until I thought about sushi. I LOVE sushi but have consoled myself with the fact that I can have seared tuna instead!
I will just be having veggies on the side instead of a roll.
On the up side of all of this is that I have lost 3 pounds in 4 days. I am pretty sure that I am still a bit dehydrated and will actually wait until I am feeling better and I am better hydrated before counting it as a real loss.
Friday, February 28, 2014
I have tried a few times to start this blog because I am still sorting through my emotions. What I want to do is throw myself on the floor and kick my feet and have a tantrum for 30 seconds until I start berating myself.
I think I will just start at the beginning and sort through the emotional stuff later.
Sunday was date day for my beau and I. We got up early, had a light breakfast, drove to the train station and headed downtown. We decided that our first day out would be to the Field Museum of Natural History.
They opened at 9 and we got there just after they opened. I decided that since we hardly ever get out...we are going all out. We got all access passes so we could see everything.
There is no way to describe everything, but my absolute favorites were:
Sue, the T-Rex. She is the most complete T-rex skeleton in the entire world, they found over 90% of her bones.
They are unable to tell is Sue was male or female and 'she' is named after the paleontologist who found her.
Her skull is not actually mounted on the display because it is too heavy to mount (600 lbs), there is a replica on the skeleton and her skull is in its own display. She is 42 ft long and 14 ft tall at the hips.
I decided that after being so awesome, Sue deserved a bit of an appetizer so I decided that my cave-beau UggaBugga was a fitting sacrifice.
She has very short arms, lol!
But certainly had the teeth for the job....
As awesome as Sue is/was we moved along to see many, MANY other things. I loved the Egyptian mummy display as well, very interesting, but I decided not to post pictures because they can be disturbing to some people. We saw jewels from around the world, I think my favorite was the black opals.
We saw many other skeletons, of course, the dinosaurs were the most impressive...they had a brontosaurus femur out on display that we were allowed to touch and I cannot describe the feeling of running my hand over something out of history...it was once ALIVE and even over so many ages...it is here for me to touch, to have a connection....Added to the fact that when I was in junior high school, I wanted to be a paleontologist. *Le Sigh*
And along the same lines of having a connection with history....Lucy was there at there, well, not her specifically, but a replica. Lucy toured the U.S. for 7 years and is now back home in Ethiopia where she lived 3.2 million years ago and was discovered in 1974.
They recovered 40% of Lucy's remains and she was named after the Beatles' song "Lucy in the Sky"
As we came towards the human part of the world timeline, I saw a couple of guys walking away from a display case and snickering...I just knew it was something about boobs and knew who I was coming up on.
Meet Lucy. She is hominid and walked upright on two legs, just like us.
There is so much more that we saw, we stayed until 5 that night when they closed....and we still didn't see everything. We will be going back there probably this summer and will see everything we missed. We made sure to get all the 'extras' in first, so when we go back we will be able to just get basic admission tickets.
One weird feeling that I got towards the end of our visit was that the more we saw, the more I felt that my part in the world's history is insignificant. I talked it out a bit with my beau and eventually shook off the feeling. Maybe in a few million years, they will excavate my bones and I will be of great scientific importance.
I usually wear my spark tracker on my sock, but I put it on my shoe and I think it tracks better on my sock. For Sunday, after 8-ish hours of walking, it only tracked 9,552 steps. I know I wasn't walking for 8 hours straight, but we covered a BIG area and I have a short stride. I think from now on, I will keep wearing it on my sock.
Moving along in my week....
By Tuesday, I could tell I was coming down with something and by Thursday, I was convinced it was the plague. I have been drinking OJ like it was going out of style and trying to eat even though I am not much hungry.
I went to the doctor today for my followup for all my blood work...and this is the hard part. The good part is that my blood pressure was lower this time, still high (for me), but it is down to 136/86. My normal was always around 110/80.
The bad part is that I am pre-diabetic.
I wanted to scream at the doctor. I'm scared and pissed off...all I said though was 'My dad had it.'
I figure that my new meds must be working because there was no uncontrollable bout of crying and no screaming.
Don't get me wrong, I cried after I got home, but normally I would have had another meltdown.
We talked a little about diet and exercise and she also suggested the possibility of lap-band surgery if I am interested (portion control is one of my big downfalls). It is also covered by insurance which is a big pro, along with many others that I need to sit down and write out....my list of pros and cons, along with getting some research done about it.
After my doctor appointment, I headed over to the hospital and got my mammogram done.
All in all, it's been a very full week, physically and emotionally which will all accumulate tomorrow with a 10 hour shift at work. With being sick, I want to call in, but that is almost half of my scheduled hours this week and I was short last week because they were closed for remodeling so I really can't afford to take it off.
Oh well, it is what it is. I am still thankful that I have a job...and an awesome one at that!
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