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Commit to the process redux

Saturday, August 23, 2014

What am I really doing day after day?
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The scale has not budged in one year.
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I have been in my new job 4 months now and I still am not losing any weight. I told myself I would probably buckle down once I settled into a routine but that’s not true. I continue to have to wear the same clothes that I managed to gather together, pants I really would like to toss but cannot because they are the only ones that fit and jackets that don’t close at all. I still make excuses each day that tomorrow will be different and having this one designer coconut donut is okay because after all they don’t come around the office every day. I still watch Extreme Weight Loss but sadly don’t get the motivation anymore that it could be me up there changing my own life. There seems to be always one more last meal or reason that today is not the day to start making any changes that will impact my life.

One month ago, I blogged about committing to the process and really believed that was the answer. Since then I have not managed to string two good days together. I do feel I have everything to gain from losing weight. So why can’t I do what needs to be done?
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Incidentally I have done this before, ( losing weight I mean) by fore going even a lifesaver because it was not on plan. Back then explaining it to someone struggling just like me was hard… because all I could say was I just do it.
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Could Nike be right? Just do it! Stop the navel gazing, pondering of why or why not and just commit to take each and every day, one day at a time. Plan the meals, commit to what you planned and stick to it tomorrow and just see what happens.
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Let’s see if I can do that day after day. Let’s see if I can budge the needle on the scale.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CTUPTON 9/12/2014 3:39PM

    This must be truly frustrating! emoticon chris

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CHERIRIDDELL 8/25/2014 3:25AM

    It really isn't easy. I think perhaps because you are not really happy with the job you are at you need the comfort of the donut.I have a tendency to do that with the pain console myself when things are not going great in some other area. You can do it though ,Jus get to the right mind set !

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CLAIREINPARIS 8/24/2014 12:40PM

    Yes, it is tough... :( As you say though, you have done it before, so you know you can do it again! emoticon

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WISHICOULDFLY 8/24/2014 9:39AM

    I think the time has come for us to stop trying to figure out WHY we are failing and just friggin DO IT. Plan our meals in the nutrition tracker in advance for the next day, make sure we have everything on the plan ready and shoot for 10 minutes of some activity EVERY DAY. We both know if we do this, the weight WILL come off sooner or later. emoticon

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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 8/23/2014 3:59PM

    I could have written this--though not as eloquently as you do. I say stick with it; the measure of weight is only one aspect of health. To keep on the journey even if you never see any discernible progress might mean that your heart is healthier, your lungs are healthier, your inner sense of well-being is better even if you are chastising yourself. It is a journey which lacks maps and has few signs...

Best wishes!

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1CRAZYDOG 8/23/2014 12:45PM

    It's not easy, but you do definitely have to take it one day-at-a-time. Habits take time to establish and that's really what it's all about.

Hang in there.

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JMARIES51 8/23/2014 11:08AM

    I have to say that my best times of reducing have come when I just stay consistent, count the calories, count the exercise minutes, nose to the grindstone, yada yada yada. It really isn't rocket science, it is just sweat equity. All the rest of it seems to be psychological. I struggle everyday with this same question, Colette. Why don't I just do it and stop eating the things that are keeping me trapped in overweight land? I think that is why SparkGuy always says to commit to just 10 minutes of exercise, knowing full well that if you do 10 minutes it will likely lead to more. Surprisingly I also did better when I was paying for Spark Coach. I think for me, paying out my hard earned money sometimes makes me feel more committed? I hate to think it is true, but I know the same is true for when I joined a fitness center. I hate paying out money and not getting my money's worth. Perhaps the reverse could work, also? Many years ago a friend and I started weighing in with each other once a week. We devised some sort of payment system for losing and a penalty for gaining. It seemed to work. I have thought about doing this again to see if it would work again.
Anyway, I do not want to discourage you. I want to inspire us both to push ahead. I do know that being active on Spark helps me no matter what. Even if it is just to maintain and not gain. emoticon

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TEXASFILLY 8/23/2014 9:52AM

    emoticon Ah~ this is the rub of the human condition. "Where the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." (Matthew 26:41). The interesting word in this verse is that willing translates to "ready" from the original text. WOW! So our spirit is ready, but the flesh is weak.

What if you made just one small change today? Say drink your water. Or measure your food. Or even better, change your food. When I went organic in early December last year it was the only real change I made. By the end of April I'd shed 16 pounds. Not quite a pound a week, but I am 16 pounds lighter by making that one significant change.

Now that I've added daily swim time and water aerobics, I've gotta tell ya, I'm hooked on my exercise in the water. It has made all the difference in the world for me. That and eating organically. Recently I've begun to experiment with juicing. Wondrous feeling of well being when I juice.

Am I 100%? Heck nah! I'm human remember. *LOL* As long as I can adhere to the 80:20 rule, I'm moving in the right direction. And please, PLEEEEZE don't set yourself up for failure by making the scale your god as a measure of your success. There are so many non~scale victories (NSV) to be found on such a frequent basis that I dare say it is not coincidental, dear heart.

So just pick one small change that you could make today and just do it. Then rinse and repeat tomorrow. Pretty soon those clothes (great NSV!) will be falling off your beautiful body! emoticon BB~
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Comment edited on: 8/23/2014 11:13:36 AM

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_RAMONA 8/23/2014 9:42AM

    emoticon

I've been here at SparkPeople for 6.5 years, and have eliminated only 70 pounds... in the last 3 years... the first 4.5 years where concerned with clearing the drama out of my life so I could focus enough to even get this priority of mine on the list. When I started I had over 100 pounds to eliminate.

Despite being an undisputed contender for the slowest loser trophy (daily I am FRUSTRATED by the fact that I can do what everyone else does to get the weight off, and yet I lose NOTHING), I am still really proud of the fact that since joining SparkPeople I have not gained ANY weight. Immediately before joining I managed to gain 50 pounds in 4 months.

For me the first step was learning how to not gain weight.

Then it was learning to maintain whatever I managed to lose (I'm currently on a two year plateau, but I maintain effortlessly).

The next step was creating the life I want. To keep that life, I need to eliminate the fat.

So, here I am NOW hopefully streaking exercise... something I have never in my life done before (exercise... at all)... and I am ridiculously proud of those 10 minutes a day.

The thing is, 6.4 years ago, I was dying... mentally and physically (my before pictures still terrify me). Today, I am really happy, I love my life, and I have pride in myself I have never before had. Not in a million years would I sacrifice that for a donut, or anything else. I may be the undisputed slowest loser, but every year here I finish it out lighter, stronger, happier than the last. And I'm not done.

You're probably wondering what my point is.... For me the reasons for doing this had to be so much more compelling than not. I needed to be living the life I wanted FIRST... you can't be fat if your lifestyle doesn't support it.

Fat is not the problem, it's a symptom... mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally.

You need to do this because you love our body and your life, not because you are unhappy with both.

Day in, day out, I had to wake up and recommit... no to losing weight, but to having the life I want... and really loving myself within it.

Maybe the first step for you is new work clothes... clothes that fit and in which you feel attractive. It's really hard to find the energy to resist the donut, or do the exercise when you don't REALLY see the point. When you're unhappy, momentary pleasures will always win over long-term nebulous goals... especially ones where the outcome is unpredictable (calories in - calories out, just do it... have not been true for me).

I think it takes a number of different strategies... just do it some days, trickery on the days that doesn't work (I had to 'trick' myself into finishing the exercise challenge... yes, even though I am ridiculously proud of those 10 minutes a day)... other days... something else is required.

I'm sorry if this is too much of a ramble. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone, and that the process you are going through - and yes, one day at a time - is a lot more important the weight loss.... and you are not alone.

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SHRINKINGALISON 8/23/2014 5:51AM

    Hi there! Your blog sounds so familiar to me! I think as well as wanting to lose weight, we have to feel deep down that we deserve it, which obviously we do! My motto is "one day at a time" - you're welcome to use it too! emoticon emoticon

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CTUPTON 8/23/2014 4:53AM

    Facing the problem is the first step. I bet you have at least one little habit you can change without trauma. What thought is going through your head when you eat something you think you should not eat? You said those donuts only come by once in awhile. Maybe analyze that thought . Are you feeling deprived if you don't eat it? Or is there some other reason you want that donut?

I lost 30 lbs----but it took 5 years!!! Now that means I am eating lots of things I shouldn't. I need to take my own advice. Now for me yesterday I ate a pizza-like thing instead of sticking to my plan for the day. I need to analyze why that thing was so important to me....... emoticon

Hang in there. Eventually the good advice from your spark friends will stick.

chris emoticon

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A_RARE_BEAN 8/23/2014 2:02AM

    Yup sometimes it really does come down to just following the routine, doing what works and hunkering down until the changes inspire you to keep going, to motivate an expansion and investment in the process.

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DAIZYSTARLITE 8/23/2014 1:47AM

    emoticon

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Commit to the process!

Saturday, July 26, 2014

If you want to lose weight then focus on the process not the goal.

When you're working toward a goal, you are essentially saying, "I'm not good enough yet, but I will be when I reach my goal." The problem with this mindset is that you're teaching yourself to always put happiness and success off until the next milestone is achieved. "Once I reach my goal, then I'll be happy.

The solution is to focus on a daily process and stick to it rather than worry about losing that 50 lbs. When you focus on the practice instead of the performance, you can enjoy the present moment and improve at the same time. You might think your goal will keep you motivated over the long-term, but that's not always true. When all of your hard work is focused on a particular number at the scale, what is left to push you forward when you get there?

Maintaining weight loss is often considered more difficult because it can set up a vicious circle of yo-yo dieting. Give up the need for immediate results and just focus on your plan every day. Like a true control freak, I know first-hand what it's like to start a regime, planning out where we will be and when we will make it there, it's thrilling.

Instead of setting goals and trying to predict how quickly we can make some progress build a system that indicates when you need to make adjustments. Follow a diet/regime plan for a week, if you lose do it again, if you gain…adjust. This will allow you to keep track of your progress without fixating on whether or not you are closer to that goal of losing 50 lbs or not.

It is all about consistent, methodical progress rather than chasing a goal for a few weeks and then burning out. Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short-term, but concentrating on the being on track with your fitness and eating will win out every time.

Committing to the process is what makes the difference.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SIMONEKP 8/6/2014 3:16PM

    emoticon

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WISHICOULDFLY 8/3/2014 4:20PM

    Thank you Colette! This is all SO TRUE! emoticon - Connie

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CLAIREINPARIS 7/30/2014 6:51PM

    This is sound advice... Now I just need to DO it!!! emoticon emoticon

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SUKIE40 7/28/2014 9:54AM

    I like that - "Committing to the process is what makes the difference." I am gonna have to steal that one! emoticon

You are so right my friend and that is why I am changing habits and not focusing on the scale. It really does make a huge difference than "being on a diet". It is all about choices and mindset.

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LISACHOSECHANGE 7/27/2014 4:07PM

    You are so right. i do exactly that and i need to change

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JULIA_211 7/27/2014 8:30AM

    This makes so much sense! Thank you! emoticon

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A_RARE_BEAN 7/27/2014 3:51AM

    completely agree with this and it's pretty much how I've been trying to do things this time around, forget the numbers! emoticon

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CHERIRIDDELL 7/27/2014 2:45AM

    This sounds like what I need at the moment.I want to lose more before my hip operation but obviously I am in dire straights to need the hip replacement so my previous methods aren't working. This was the timely message I needed thank you!

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TWESTEN1 7/26/2014 10:59PM

    Love that - it all makes sense, now let's get it to work! I know we can do this - we just need to stop making it harder than it is :)

Here's to a great new week ahead!

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SJM1027 7/26/2014 9:31PM

    This really hits home with me. When I read (When all of your hard work is focused on a particular number at the scale, what is left to push you forward when you get there?) Thanks for that!
Steve

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1CRAZYDOG 7/26/2014 9:12PM

    AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME!

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ANAWESOMELIFE 7/26/2014 8:49PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Looks like you just had another great aha moment! This is something that I too need to do. Thank you!

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CHIROMOM214 7/26/2014 8:47PM

    Wonderful!!! I needed this tonight =)

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_RAMONA 7/26/2014 8:23PM

    EXCELLENT blog... and very timely for me... I am currently honing my own process. I got over focused on results and almost quit entirely. I've recommitted to PROCESS and I'm doing fine. THANK YOU!

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JMARIES51 7/26/2014 8:22PM

    You are so correct. I think this is true about everything that you are working to achieve. I just don't know why it seems so difficult with weight loss.


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TEACHFIRST268 7/26/2014 7:56PM

    Well said!

I'm committing to TODAY! Then I'll do it again tomorrow.
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DAISYBELLEKIA 7/26/2014 7:41PM

    So very true!

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Getting to know your Spark Neighbour

Sunday, June 29, 2014

It's time for another get to know your Spark friends.

Your go to chewing gum flavour… spearmint

Best time of the year… Indian Summer or what autumn should be like leaves falling nice temps

If you were a toe nail polish what colour would you be…. classic fire engine red

Favourite pie.. Flapper pie-google it simple prairie recipe from the depression era

First record you ever bought… weird as it might sound a Bill Cosby comedy album “I started out as a child” and I was practically a child!

Current perfume you use.. Cartier Baiser Vole

Do you have any trophies or awards….I once got a trophy for selling the most raffle
tickets (the start of my life in sales) and that is a tough sell in a small town where every kid knows the same people.

Worst day of your life… My dad’s funeral April 1969

Do you cuss and swear.. too much but only when absolutely necessary emoticon

Celebrity crush you would get a hall pass for… Keanu Reeves

What is the new reward if it isn’t food anymore The alternate has been clothes for a very long time and will continue to be so.

What makes you the Zodiac sign you are.. Scorpios secretive, sensitive, capable of the scorpion sting if provoked, don’t like small talk but prefer deep emotional entanglements.

What is your goal weight.... 199 lbs

Do you think you are a giver or a taker… I think people see me as a taker and I might agree

Beach house or Mountain cabin.. Beach house

If you monogrammed your towels...... CEE

Someone offers you free plastic surgery, what do you do…. decline until I need a tummy tuck and I think I will need a tummy tuck when I get to goal

I might be tempted to time travel back to…. 1940s it might be a step back in time but I kind of like pencil skirts and getting my door opened for me.

Nick name in high school.... one teacher gave me Motormouth and it caught on with some of the other faculty ....argh lol

Now cut and paste this but I want to see your answers...or feel free to post your own blog.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANAWESOMELIFE 7/13/2014 2:31PM

   

Your go to chewing gum flavour… peppermint

Best time of the year… fall ... Love the change of color!

If you were a toe nail polish what colour would you be…. Bright red

Favourite pie.. Cherry with vanilla ice cream on top or coconut cream

First record you ever bought… I don't remember but I loved the Stones as a kid

Current perfume you use.. I prefer essential oils, citrusy or rosemary

Do you have any trophies or awards… I had lots in school for athletics but I never held onto any of them. Not sure why.

Worst day of your life…December, 2008, When I was told my backache wasn't just a backache. It was stage 3 cancer. Funny how my perspective on life changed ... It was in reality a new beginning.

Do you cuss and swear.. Like a sailor! I know it's a bad habit but it's also who I am.

What is the new reward if it isn’t food anymore: Life, with all the chaos and heartache. It's all good if I remember that I know how the story ends.

Celebrity crush you would get a hall pass for ... Colin Firth, ever since I saw him in Pride and Predjudice I've had a crush on him.

What makes you the Zodiac sign you are.. I'm Aquarias ... Intellectual and a trail blazer ... But lazy too :)

What is your goal weight.... I don't have a goal weight, I have a goal feeling. When I get flexibility, balance and health back I know I will have arrived. P.s., I don't ever think I'll arrive - I'll just visit daily :)

Do you think you are a giver or a taker… mostly a giver but learning to take too. Taking takes trust and a belief that someone's got your back.

Beach house or Mountain cabin.. Beach house

If you monogrammed your towels...... PMD

Someone offers you free plastic surgery, what do you do… I'd rather spend the time and investment on really accepting and loving me no matter what the scale says no, I'd take a pass. I've chased the dream and finally woke up to realizing I'm good enough exactly where I'm at at any given time. Of course I have to constantly remind myself of this :)

I might be tempted to time travel back to…. The young girl that I once was. I'd definitely whisper in her ear that everything will turn out even better than she imagined. Don't stress over anything. It all turns out good.

Nick name in high school.... Patty and Pow-wow ... Forgot all about the 2nd one emoticon


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MINEA999 7/1/2014 2:24PM

   

Your go to chewing gum flavour… spearmint

Best time of the year… fall.

If you were a toe nail polish what colour would you be…. turqoise

Favourite pie.. pecan

First record you ever bought… Cyndi Lauper's "She's So Unusual" 1984

Current perfume you use.. Happy Heart by Clinique

Do you have any trophies or awards….lots of participation ribbons for sports events in elementary school. HAHAHA

Worst day of your life… the day my close friend died. January 7th, 2010.

Do you cuss and swear.. tall the time. F8ck is one of my favourite words. :)

Celebrity crush you would get a hall pass for… lately it's Charlie Hunnam from Sons of Anarchy. YUM!

What is the new reward if it isn’t food anymore: I don't know. I guess new clothes.

What makes you the Zodiac sign you are.. Gemini. I don't suffer fools lightly and I hate to have my time wasted.

What is your goal weight.... don't have one.

Do you think you are a giver or a taker… depends on the situation. I'm probably a taker for the most part.

Beach house or Mountain cabin.. Beach house

If you monogrammed your towels...... TSN

Someone offers you free plastic surgery, what do you do….meh. I'm kinda wary about that stuff. I guess if I lost a significant amount I might need a tummy tuck but that's some pretty serious surgery.

I might be tempted to time travel back to…. 1740s Scotland.

Nick name in high school.... the nice ones or the mean ones?



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CLAIREINPARIS 6/30/2014 5:08PM

    Ah I LOVED this!!! Thank you, I'll have to do it as well one of these days!
I am wearing bright red nails right now (not toe though, on my hands). emoticon

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SUKIE40 6/30/2014 3:34PM

    Okay Motormouth emoticon I'll do mine in a blog! Thanks for sharing!

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LIZZIE138 6/30/2014 6:32AM

    Your go to chewing gum flavour…strawberry-watermelon
R>Best time of the year… Fall...Cool crisp days

If you were a toe nail polish what colour would you be…. warm coral..which I have on right now!

Favourite pie. Strawberry-rhubarb... Yum!

First record you ever bought… The Monkees

Current perfume you use.. Oscar

Do you have any trophies or awards…. I won a spelling bee in 4th grade.

Worst day of your life… FInding out my mom had passed away while I was on vacation.

Do you cuss and swear.. Yes... Usually when I am alone.


Celebrity crush you would get a hall pass for…Hugh Jackman

What is the new reward if it isn’t food anymore... My latest was my ipad

What makes you the Zodiac sign you are..I'm a Leo and not many of my personality traits fit that sign.

What is your goal weight.... 146 lbs.

Do you think people see you as a giver or a taker... a giver, sometimes too much so

Beach house or Mountain cabin.. Beach house

If you monogrammed your towels......EDA

Someone offers you free plastic surgery, what do you do…. get my batwings removed

I might be tempted to time travel back to….the 1970"s... Free love and all that stuff!

Nick name in high school.... Lizard


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LJCANNON 6/29/2014 9:05PM

   

Your go to chewing gum flavour… I Have NEVER chewed gum, I hate it!

Best time of the year… Fall, but Spring is a VERY Close 2nd Place

If you were a toe nail polish what colour would you be ... Purple or Multi Colored

Favourite pie ... Pecan

First record you ever bought… Not sure, but it was probably either the Statler Brothers or Charley Pride

Current perfume you use ... White Diamonds, always!!

Do you have any trophies or awards ... Perfect Attendance at Nursing School

Worst day of your life ... ???

Do you cuss and swear .. On Occasion

Celebrity crush you would get a hall pass for ... Billy Graham

What is the new reward if it isn’t food anymore ... Shopping for Clothes or New Workout Equipment

What makes you the Zodiac sign you are ... Libra, they are easy going and want nothing more than Peacefulness with those around them

What is your goal weight.... 145 - 150 pounds

Do you think you are a giver or a taker .. Probably most people would say I'm a Giver. I think it depends on the situation.

Beach house or Mountain cabin ... Mountain Cabin, with a Summer Cottage at the Beach

If you monogrammed your towels ... LJC

Someone offers you free plastic surgery, what do you do…. Arms

I might be tempted to time travel back to the Victorian Era (temporarily, of course!!) I LOVE their clothes and the Art Work

Nick name in high school ... I don't think I had one.

Now cut and paste this but I want to see your answers...or feel free to post your own blog.


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DBEAU57 6/29/2014 8:47PM

    Posting in a blog -- this is fun! emoticon

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WISHICOULDFLY 6/29/2014 8:39PM

    Your go to chewing gum flavour… Pretty much avoid gum. TMJ problems AND I am avoiding artificial sweeteners!

Best time of the year… When you KNOW the depressing winter is OVER

If you were a toe nail polish what colour would you be…. Revlon's Chilliest Rose (circa 1973)

Favourite pie.. Coconut Cream

First record you ever bought… The Beatles: Hello Goodbye ("'I Am the Walrus" was the B side

• Current perfume you use...None...BUT would use "Andron by Jovan" IF I could get my hands on it...

Do you have any trophies or awards….Years Ago I was the "Chahita Queen" at a Chi Chis restaurant in Delaware for selling the most Chahitas (Fajitas)

Worst day of your life…Can't really say...

Do you cuss and swear.. YES. Damn it.

 

Celebrity crush you would get a hall pass for… Tom Petty

What is the new reward if it isn’t food anymore "If only Marijuana were legal…"

What makes you the Zodiac sign you are.. Taurueans are creative, earthy and loyal

What is your goal weight.... 157 pounds

Do you think you are a giver or a taker… GIVER...and I sometimes resent that I am hardly ever on the RECEIVING end...

Beach house or Mountain cabin.. Beach house 

If you monogrammed your towels...... CLR

Someone offers you free plastic surgery, what do you do…. Get my VERY thin lips pumped up to NORMAL (not Melanie Griffith or Lisa Rinna Puffy - just NORMAL!

I might be tempted to time travel back to…. Take school more seriously and earn a scholarship!

Nick name in high school....OX (devastating to say the least!)


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LISACHOSECHANGE 6/29/2014 7:26PM

    ok posting in a blog

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TWESTEN1 6/29/2014 4:28PM

    Your go to chewing gum flavour… cinnamon

Best time of the year…Spring ~ love when everything turns green again

If you were a toe nail polish what colour would you be…. deep blue

Favourite pie.. chocolate or blueberry

First record you ever bought… Robert Hazzard - Escalator of Life

Current perfume you use.. none

Do you have any trophies or awards….not that I can recall

Worst day of your life… I honestly don't think I've had it yet...

Do you cuss and swear... very rarely - except when I'm on a girl's weekend & then there's no telling what will come out of my mouth :)

Celebrity crush you would get a hall pass for… Tim McGraw, no - Orlando Bloom.... maybe Luke Bryan or Blake Shelton... wait - Jason Statham or Channing Tatum (think I have a few crushes?!)

What is the new reward if it isn’t food anymore ...face and hair products

What makes you the Zodiac sign you are.. I'm Taurus, the bull... think maybe I'm a bit stubborn?!

What is your goal weight.... 150 lbs

Do you think you are a giver or a taker… definitely a giver - have a hard time being a taker. Must be the nurturer in me :)

Beach house or Mountain cabin.. I'm in the mountains, so I'll stick with that!

If you monogrammed your towels...... DLT

Someone offers you free plastic surgery, what do you do…. decline until I need a tummy tuck and I think I will need a tummy tuck when I get to goal YES = LOVE your answer!

I might be tempted to time travel back to…. hard one - have no desire to go back in time. Happy now. Not sure of another era I would prefer :)

Nick name in high school.... don't remember any

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1CRAZYDOG 6/29/2014 4:08PM

    Your go to chewing gum flavor . . . . peppermint or spearmint

Best time of the year . . . . Autumn and Spring.

If you were a toe nail polish what colour would you be . . . . classic fire engine red

Favourite pie . . . . pumpkin pie

First record you ever bought . . . . Abraxis (Carlos Santana!)

Current perfume you use . . . . No scents for me.

Do you have any trophies or awards . . . . no

Worst day of your life . . . . My brother’s funeral February 10, 1982.

Do you cuss and swear . . . . sometimes. Not often.

Celebrity crush you would get a hall pass for . . . . didn’t really have that.

What is the new reward if it isn’t food anymore . . . . Clothes, new work-out equipment.

What makes you the Zodiac sign you are . . . Pisces . . . I do love water!

What is your goal weight . . . . 100 lbs (have maintained for going on 4 yrs.)

Do you think you are a giver or a taker . . . . probably some of both, actually. Maybe heavier on giver.

Beach house or Mountain cabin . . . . beach house

If you monogrammed your towels . . . . BAL

Someone offers you free plastic surgery, what do you do . . . . gratefully decline. I am comfortable w/who I am just as I am.

I might be tempted to time travel back to . . . . 1970’s – it was an awesome time in my life . . . . college, my career ahead of me then establishing myself in my career. Awesome!

Nick name in high school . . . . Shorty – no denying that – at 4 ft. 10.5 in. I AM short! LOL


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RASPBERRY56 6/29/2014 4:26AM

    Your go to chewing gum flavour… NONE - I *hate* gum! :(

Best time of the year…mid-spring (after all the trees and flowers have sprouted, and the allergy risk has let up)

If you were a toe nail polish what colour would you be…. clear, probably (I'm not a toenail painter)......

Favourite pie.. tie between Boston cream and *pizza* :)

First record you ever bought… weird as it might sound a Bill Cosby comedy album “I started out as a child” and I was practically a child!

Current perfume you use.. Cartier Baiser Vole

Do you have any trophies or awards….earned a basic award as a former Toastmaster, and there have been a few internal corporate awards from time to time......

Worst day of your life… there are several ties - every day I lost a $#!@# JOB, essentially....... :( :( :(

Do you cuss and swear.. occasionally (I've never claimed to be Pollyanna), but I do actively watch what I say on general principles........

Celebrity crush you would get a hall pass for… nobody (I'm not really the "star-struck" type).......

What is the new reward if it isn’t food anymore ....... I'm not much into rewarding myself, but if I did, it would probably be *books* :)

What makes you the Zodiac sign you are.. .....hard to say, since I'm close to being on the cusp, and also came into the world a bit premature.......but, as a Sagittarius, I absolutely *detest* seeing or hearing about any injustices done to decent, hard-working people (this world is truly going to Hades in the proverbial handbasket, if you ask me)...... :(

What is your goal weight.... 140 sounds good to me.......

Do you think you are a giver or a taker… hard to say.......I could probably make a case for either, but I suspect others would see me as slightly more of a giver.....

Beach house or Mountain cabin.. Definitely *beach* (and I've endured the h*ll of Superstorm Sandy - while living considerably *inland*)!

If you monogrammed your towels...... nah, I wouldn't, really - don't see the appeal of it.........

Someone offers you free plastic surgery, what do you do…. definitely decline!

I might be tempted to time travel back to…. 1970s (after HS, of course).......

Nick name in high school.... none.......

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Be careful what you wish for….

Friday, June 20, 2014

There just might be something to this ‘Law of Attraction’. Last year when I endured foot pain and was scheduled for surgery I just wanted it to be back to normal. I was worried about deformity and foot size and was concerned it would never be the same. Well as most will attest to I am doing okay and Frankenfoot now 9 months later is doing great since it takes a full year to go back to normal or close to it. To be honest I am pleasantly surprised that I am (for once) an example of best case scenario.

Enough of a back story let’s move on to how I am designing my own particular universe. When I started job hunting in February I knew that it would be tough because I had not been working for almost 3 years. This has been addressed in previous blogs and for those of you who are new, all I can say is I blame the bad judgement years on peri-menopause. My intention and hope was to just get a job that gave me a pay cheque, not too bad of a commute and where there was a minimal amount of time being on my feet. It didn’t matter what I was doing, I just wanted to be a cog in the machine. Guess what? I am doing a really mindless administrative job, I get paid a lousy salary and to top it off I have to work with the most bitter woman I have ever encountered in a job situation. From day one she has not hidden the fact that she does not like me and to top it off I have had to rely on her to train me. For the record she has been there 4 years and with the exception of a handful of people has top seniority so that might tell you something about the organization….4 people have left since I started mid-April in a staff of 30. My point being that is all I asked of the universe and that is exactly what I was handed back…the bare minimum.


I am not sure where or when I thought it would be wise to settle for things ‘just being okay’ but it’s been part of the way I operate my whole life. I recall in my youth whether it was concerning school work, home life or friends and play, I just wanted things to be okay. Maybe if I asked for too much I would be disappointed that I didn’t get what I truly desired or perhaps I didn’t think I deserved everything that I saw others enjoy.

Truth is I need to practice dreaming and scheming for everything I truly want…because the universe is listening. If you ask for things to ‘just be okay’ then low and behold do not be surprised when that great job/promotion or super nice guy/girl does not come your way. I need to realize the sky is the limit even at my age! If you don’t ask for what you want in this life then can you really complain when you don’t get it?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEXASFILLY 8/23/2014 10:01AM

    O! You nailed it here, darlin'! One of my favorite inspirational posters reads, "You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling." Go for, Colette! You've got everything you need right there inside you to make your life exactly what you would like it to be.

For the longest time, I used cop-outs to justify the non-pursuit of my dreams, with my biggest dream to become a teacher. I finally went for it. Was it easy? No. Was it quick? No. Was it painful? At times, still is for that matter because this life is not perfect~ (The one to come is!). Was it worth it? You bet! Because I proved to myself that I have the power to make my dreams a reality.

Don't give up on yourself, sweetie~ you are such a beautiful soul~ inside & out. You are a child of the Universe and you have every right to be here. Besides, I know that Father wants you to live life abundantly and joyfully because you are His child emoticon BB~
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Comment edited on: 8/23/2014 10:22:21 AM

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CTUPTON 8/23/2014 4:56AM

    Great blog! It gave me plenty to think about. I want to sell our condo. But others in our complex have been going for way less than market value. One was sold just to get it sold. That low price wrecked the prices for the rest of us who want to sell. I need to start thinking how valuable this place is! chris

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TEACHFIRST268 7/22/2014 12:51PM

    Wow. Great blog! You're absolutely right. Work on sprucing up/updating that resume and start reaching for the stars, baby! YOU deserve it!

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SUKIE40 6/23/2014 2:00PM

    It is funny how our mind works. The negativity that has seeped into every cell and you are right that we do not want to be considered greedy and ask for too much, its been instilled in our brains.

I have been working on being more positive, more grateful for the things that I have and to finally let go and be honest about what I want.

Great blog my friend, thanks for sharing!

-Sue emoticon

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CLAIREINPARIS 6/23/2014 12:55PM

    I cannot even start to tell you how familiar all that you wrote sounded!!! I have been the same all my life, never feeling that I deserved anything good in my life. I am convinced it is linked to the way we were raised. Yes, I was blessed with a wonderful job which I love, but that is about my only 'success' really... So I'll very much try and embrace the idea that I deserve the best in all areas of my life, and I believe the same for you. Go Colette!
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CHERIRIDDELL 6/23/2014 4:09AM

    Awesome,create the world you want. Things are going our way!

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JMARIES51 6/22/2014 11:27AM

    I had to smile big at your latest blog. I have been working exactly on this for the past few weeks. I have been restudying the law of attraction and have been doing some scripting (which is writing your life out exactly as you want it) - My focus has been on little things lately. I wanted to manifest hummingbirds. Yesterday while I was meditating, I heard a whirring noise. I opened my eyes and there in front of me was a hummingbird that stuck around for about 5 seconds. It was as if the universe was telling me, see, it all works. I burst into tears of joy.
Hope you will be attracting all the really wonderful things that you want very very soon.

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WISHICOULDFLY 6/21/2014 7:15AM

    Oh. My. God. Colette, you absolutely gave ME the proverbial "Eureka Moment". Now that I think about about, anything I have ever REALLY wanted, I have gotten. I believe there really is something to the "laws of attraction". I think I have been too distracted and scattered that I had not been really deciding WHAT I WANT in my life. You cannot go after something if you are not even aware that you want it.

Thank you so much for starting my Part III chunk of June on such a positive note! emoticon

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SIXFOOT1 6/20/2014 11:46PM

    Really loved how you finished your blog with that last paragraph. So true! If you get the change, google Jim Carey's graduation speech he did recently where he talked about his father's career choice. It was a good one and relates well to your message here. Enjoy your weekend!

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TWESTEN1 6/20/2014 7:34PM

    Very valid points... we should not "settle". We should not expect less for ourselves for any reason. Reach for the stars, my friend. You deserve success, happiness and a work environment where you're not surrounded by bitterness. I'm rooting for you!

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LISACHOSECHANGE 6/20/2014 6:11PM

    I hate when we get what we think we want...lol. but it is a learning experience..you are worth so much more. Gooodluck at work

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_BABE_ 6/20/2014 5:37PM

    Thanks Travelgo for the shout out!


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AMBERLICIOUS88 6/20/2014 4:43PM

    So true. Makes me think about how many times I have sabotaged good things possibly because I subconsciously believe I don't deserve it. We do deserve everything we dream about. Unfortunately sometimes it takes patience. And it means we can't get depressed when our expectations aren't fulfilled too. We just have to wait and keep believing we deserve it and that it will happen. Great blog. Hugs. Hope u can find a way to butter up the grumpy woman :)

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SHANTODD420 6/20/2014 3:59PM

    Great blog thanks for sharing and I might some day have to get back into a full time work force fro now I am fortunate to stay at home.

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TRAVELGO 6/20/2014 3:46PM

  Such great thoughts!

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A_RARE_BEAN 6/20/2014 2:41PM

    Oh yup, the universe is a listening there's definitely a little something to getting back what you put out there. Dream big! I hope you find something better or I should say I hope you attract exactly what you desire emoticon

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JULIAMOONCHILD 6/20/2014 2:32PM

    It has always been simmering on the back burner of my mind what I read/heard once (or a read/heard a million times, perhaps) - that our brains are basically our own computers which we program. And your blog today once again brings home the fact that I suck at programming my computer with things that would vastly improve my day-to-day life. I do NOT program my brain with positive thoughts and great expectations, but instead, with negative thoughts and little expectation.

Today I stood next to my bathroom sink and peering into the mirror I said out-loud, "You are UGLY! I hate this f**kin' life! I hate how I look! I hate everything about me!"

I ranted and raved to myself and told myself that nothing is ever going to change. And I believed it. And now I will be honest and say, "at this particular moment, I still believe it. Still believe nothing is going to change in my life. I am feeling like the biggest loser. And so I am leaving SP for a time. I just can't be here anymore like this.

Yet, while I am gone, I have hope. I KNOW that I can program my mind with better thoughts - and I will work on it. So, I am glad that you have written this blog, Babe, it says a lot - We really do get in life what we believe we deserve. The brain believes whatever we tell it. I need to have a good talk with mine - I need to have a good cry - and then I need to tell my brain all the most positive things I can think of about myself - even if they seem like lies - until one day I believe them to be true. And surely - they will be.

Until I am back - wishing you the very best - and daily positive programming. You deserve more than you have programmed for - Much More!!!



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1CRAZYDOG 6/20/2014 2:26PM

    The self-fulfilling prophecy in action! I don't know if you're still looking, but I wish you much luck. My DH has been searching since October. It's horrendous out there (yeah, I know . . . preaching to the choir, right!?!) But definitely set the bar to where you want it to be. You'll get there.

HUGS and again, sending all good wishes.

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CETANISTAWI 6/20/2014 2:20PM

    Thank you for the reminder. I've been coasting on autopilot, i think. Time to get creating!
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And by the way: age is in conjunction with time, a man-made creation. At our cores, we're ageless.
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I wonder

Saturday, June 07, 2014

I wonder if people know just how tough it is to be fat and lose weight. People being all those who are not fat and do not have to lose weight. Do they realize that somewhere along the way our problems and vices became visible just because we choose to medicate, placate or eradicate the bad things in our lives with food?

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I wonder if those who can mask alcohol on their breathe, hide the fact that they wash their hands 75 times a day or buy a new pair of shoes every time they feel down realize how lucky they are that at least they can move through the world without being labelled by their affliction. We, fat people, are marked as weak and maybe even a little lazy. People wonder what the hell happened and some even think they have it figured out especially after having watched a program on weight loss where the contestants spill their guts about abuse and abandonment.

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I wonder if they realize that what might have been an accident of birth (propensity for heavy thighs and a round abdomen) turned into a problem because it was deemed a problem by everyone around you. I think I have been close to 6 feet tall since grade 6 and for the record nowhere near 300 lbs but as time moves on and food becomes more of a crutch, I went from big girl to morbidly obese woman. I wonder if given the proper guidance and understanding if things could have been different?

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I wonder if these people who avoid sitting beside you on the train even though their skinny butt has more than enough room realize what message they are sending. I wonder when I look at dating sites why men would prefer anyone (including someone with an eye in the middle of their forehead) over some who is overweight. Give me a crack addict; at least she looks good in a little black dress and jeans. I wonder if they know that in addition to making rent, dealing with that demon co-worker and thinking about taking care of your family that you also have to deal with them and their judgement every day.

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I wonder.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEXASFILLY 8/23/2014 10:09AM

    Ditto! Double ditto! Triple dare ditto everything JuliaMoonChild said! YES! You nailed it beautifully, dear heart. *hugs* When I participated in the 12-Step OA (Overeaters Anonymous) program, we had a saying about how our addiction really shows in our bodies. Where an alcoholic can abstain and survive because drinking alcohol is not a necessity to life, OAs had to take their tiger (food) for a walk around the block three times a day.

You are a brave and worthy soul, Colette. I love your insight and depth of expression that so many of us feel. Thank you for sharing~ emoticon BB~ emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JULIAMOONCHILD 6/19/2014 3:31PM

    I won't repeat everything others have already said here, but I gotta tell ya - this is a masterpiece that should be published. SERIOUSLY! If you could at least submit this to your local newspaper - letter to the editor type thing - and possibly get this out there that way, I think it would be a huge eye-opener for a lot of people who never thought of what its really like being over weight and what it feels like to be judged because of it - and a huge blessing to those who do walk in the same shoes.

This was truly insightful and in spite of the sadness it invokes, it was beautifully written and deserving of much more attention that it is getting here.

You are a beautiful person and very talented writer. I hope you will decide to share this with many others. In fact, and this might sound crazy, but I'd like to see a copy of this sent to every business and organization in the country. Imagine walking into a gym and seeing this posted on a wall. Imagine being over-weight and seeing what you never had the words to say - said for you.

You are an Ambassador! I hope you will use your talent to reach out to both the over-weight and the skinny asses out there. There is good and bad, I'm sure, in both groups, and both groups could benefit from your words!!!

BEST BLOG EVER!

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1DERLAND14 6/14/2014 1:01PM

    These days everyone has an opinion about EVERYTHING. I do get tired of people labeling the person I am based on my weight. It's hard to pretend you don't notice or even care. I suppose that's why I still fight... not to fit in to everyone elses mold of what they deem as "normal" but to become my own normal. To feel comfortable in my own skin and not give a damn about what anyone thinks about me. I do think that proper nutrition growing up would have helped me a great deal. When I started this journey I felt so uneducated about food... even now there are days I struggle. I am glad that you posted this because it helps me to know I am not the only person that has felt this way!

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CLAIREINPARIS 6/12/2014 5:32AM

    I am so sorry, Colette... Hang in there... It is true that I didn't have a clue how complicated and crual life as an obese could be until I became one myself. I am lucky that people are very rarely showing in their behaviour that they think I am fat. But it is still painful.
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CHERIRIDDELL 6/11/2014 4:02AM

    You know I feel the pain in this post but I was skinny until my accident and I can tell you honestly when I look at your picture what I see is a beautiful person, you are well groomed ,you have a lovely face. You are intelligent.I would much prefer to sit beside you on the train than most others (if I could still get on the train !) I can't emphasize enough that in my opinion you are 100 times prettier than most.For what it is worth anyone who makes that kind of judgement , it is their loss.

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WISHICOULDFLY 6/9/2014 7:35PM

    Colette, all I can say is that I am so sorry that people can be such A$$holes. We need to ignore their cruelty and spread as much positivity as we can to equalize it. emoticon

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AMBERLICIOUS88 6/9/2014 11:16AM

    If only those people realized that we walk around all day self conscious of how we look already and don't need their added rudeness. That we are consumed constantly by it and all it takes is one rude comment to throw us into a horrible depression. I may not be morbidly obese however I am cursed with being an "apple shape" with no waist and even 5 lbs goes right to my belly. I see people looking at my belly and I feel so self conscious about it. I wish I had a big bum sometimes..it's a more acceptable female body type to the world. All we can do is to continue to push thru and keep at it. Great blog sweetie. I swear you nailed how I'm feeling today. :)

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ANAWESOMELIFE 6/8/2014 8:26PM

    My heart aches reading this. I know it's true. I know that's why we have to support each other .... That's what makes this site so special. I also know that's why we must be patient and kind with ourselves ... Great change can come when we become our own friend rather than yet another harsh critic. At least I keep telling myself this

Babe, you inspire me. emoticon

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RUDITUDI2000 6/7/2014 10:23PM

    I think folks that think badly of others should take a look in the mirror...we all have challenges and struggles. Everyone needs compassion, the kindness of a savior...love the song that says this! It rings so true!
Keep on keeping on Babe! You are worth the effort to be your healthiest! You are a beautiful woman!


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LISACHOSECHANGE 6/7/2014 7:21PM

    When i was in high school a girl gave a speech and said she hated fat people because they obviously didnt take care of themselves. I have always been fat. I looked at her and thought you dont know what i have been through and you judge me by my appearance. It is sad that being fat is disgusting but being a drunk is someone who is sad and needs help

Comment edited on: 6/7/2014 7:22:25 PM

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SIXFOOT1 6/7/2014 5:50PM

    I had never thought about that before...how other people are able to hide their afflictions for other things. Imagine if they had to wear a scarlet letter of sorts. Interesting idea

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JMARIES51 6/7/2014 5:35PM

    It seems to me that even though there are more TV shows that help educate people about what it means to be overweight, the more society judges. It is the same with bullying. The more attention that is drawn to a problem, there is good that happens from the attention, and on the flip side, there is more bad attention. So I am not sure what the answer is other than taking care of yourself, no matter what is going on around you, and showing yourself that what all those other people think - just doesn't matter.

Life can be very painful and hurt a lot - and on the flip side it can be a wonderful journey full of personal growth and achievement. It takes a lot of energy to stay strong during the tough times. However once you get the ball rolling and the momentum picks up - you will hardly notice what society thinks because you will be creating your own reality.

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TWESTEN1 6/7/2014 3:18PM

    It is a shame that our society labels everyone who isn't "perfect"... we're fat slobs, they're retarded, they're druggies b/c they need help with depression or bi-polar, etc. And the media keeps pushing perfection as well. If we would all sit back and realize that NO ONE is perfect, wouldn't it be a nicer world to live in?

A couple of weeks ago on my MSN webpage there was an article about the world's "ugliest woman". I cried while reading it. She had a rare disease and could not gain weight. She found a web page that had listed her as the ugliest woman & said she should put a gun to her head to spare everyone else from having to look at her. Thankfully, she was raised in a loving and supporting house and chose to use that as a way to speak out - against bullying, labeling, etc. I admire her.... immensely!

But I feel your pain. I'm in that boat too. Fortunately there are some people who do realize the struggle we're facing, but I think a lot more tend to automatically put us down. Imagine a world where no one judged other people :)


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KAKONOLADY 6/7/2014 2:41PM

    aw!!!! I know how it feels! No one is a bigger judge of myself than me however!! I am learning to work through my food addiction and to put myself and my needs in front of the needs of my family!!Children included! I had the worst MD visit in January after I was referred to a lung doctor because of an MRI result. Well instead the MALE doctor did nothing but make me feel like a fat worthless slob!! The snide look on his face will never be forgotten! I put in a complaint and it set me in the lowest place that I have ever been until 5/31/13! I will use what happened as motivation to reach my goals!! emoticon

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LJCANNON 6/7/2014 1:35PM

    emoticon Nobody really has a Clue unless they have personally worn the Shoes and Lived the Life with a particular problem/addiction. Maybe one of Our Responsibilities is to Educate those around us about Our Addiction/Problem? Not sure how we would accomplish that .....

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1CRAZYDOG 6/7/2014 1:19PM

    Judging by the judgmental actions and words . . . NO . . . I don't think so . . . at all.

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