Monday, February 20, 2012
Seems I find some comfort in my little, proverbial pit because it's familiar and I am learning that I resist change in a big way!!
I do have the desire to change...maybe change isn't the right word though. I think it's more like connecting to who I am rather than "change." I have become someone that isn't true to my deepest values and beliefs!!
I think the pit is safe because it allows me to remain neutral, zombie-esque if you will. Yet, all around me, the Divine is sending me so many messages, so many encouragements. If I continue to ignore the circumstances with me, He may deicide to leave me alone altogether until I'm ready. I AM READY...
The pit is beginning to stink of deceit and false comforts. The darkness is actually beginning to breed fear in my mind and soul. I don't want to be a person that settles into the pit and never gets out from it's illusions of comfort and safety!!
I pray that God will continue to send encouragements but most of all I pray for His strength in my weaknesses!
On a brighter note, tomorrow is the final celebration of Carnival which is most commonly known as Mardi Gras (Shrove Tuesday, Fat Tuesday, Pancake Tuesday, etc). This is the final party before many Christians go into the Lenten season which I plan on participating in fully this year...
I want to "sacrifice" my addiction to sugar as well as commit to getting back into church. I have to put my old grudges aside and begin focusing on faith and community!
What are your Lenten plans?