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Still missing.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

So, I've had some rough days lately, and rough moments, but outside of those moments I am truly feeling a lot better. I've had some good epiphanies and I feel in control of things to a certain extent again. And I also feel I'm getting to a place where I might be able to let go of some of those things I can't control again, which is good.

Food is good. Exercise is good.

Although I went on my first real run today and I think I tried to go too far -- started having that same pain again. :P *DOH* Next time I try to start running I'm starting with ONE MILE. Even if that sounds wussy to me, I said I'd do that this time and I didn't and after about 2 miles of my 5K route I was trying to do, it started. :P


Still felt like I got a great workout today -- still sore.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARLIE13 2/12/2009 12:07PM

    emoticon for Rocoe.

emoticon Corporate lawyer trainer defines "wussy" as someone who gives in to negative thoughts about a mile being just for "wussies". The antonym of wussie is "rockstar". Used in a sentence? Dana is a rockstar because she listened to her body and ran a great mile so as not to injure herself as she gets back into running.

Be an injury free rockstar and not a wussie wreckanator! You've got this girl!

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SWEETZMIX 2/12/2009 10:36AM

    Dana I know u have been going through a lot. But I had a feeling you are starting to slowly feel better. Sorry to hear your pain started up again. Start slow girl, don't want you to be out of commission!!

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MISSROCKABILLY 2/12/2009 12:42AM

    Thanks so much for the kind words on my blog. I absolutely hear you about needing to get your head together and letting go of things that you can't control. That is exactly what I am struggling with right now as well. I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better.

Sending good thoughts and positive energy to you and yours.

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WHATAGRL42 2/11/2009 11:08PM

    aw roscoe. I hate it when pets go missing. The not knowing is a killer. My coworker's brother runs a successful website that reunites missing pets with their owners. It's a national database... not sure how it works, but I'll ask wendy for the url.

I adopted a "stray" kitty that to this day ,I am sure was someone's beloved cat. He had no collar and no chip according to the vet I took him to. If someone does have your dog, i'm not sure why they're having such a difficult time finding you. My cat began hanging around my parents house, and was just there more and more. Mom tried to find out whose cat he might be-- he was just a hair older than kittenhood, but had been neutered- a sign he had owners who cared for him. He was a beautiful cat (we would later find out his breed: a Maine Coon). Flyers went up, we checked with the humane society, put up fliers at petsmart, went door-to door, etc. After a month of nobody coming forward, I kept him.

I've had him for 7 years now. He's a spoiled boy. I've had plenty of cats and dogs go missing- some with collars/tags, some without and none with microcips. But I did derive some sense of comfort thinking with each and every one of them, they landed themselves a loving home, with people who tried to find me, but we just didn't connect.... and they're happy... and warm... and well fed... and loved. The ache does dull, but it's a bummer. Our pets are our family. I hate to see how Santosh fairs when our beloved Black Lab, Kaleigh, passes. It will be a very dark day in the Joseph household.
Let's hope R is one of those miracle dogs who finds his way home!

Comment edited on: 2/11/2009 11:13:10 PM

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LAFTERSFREE 2/11/2009 9:37PM

    but the real question is.... how did u like ur new mp3 player?!?!?!?!?! !!!!! :)

im really glad u are feeling better overall. It's good to try to force yourself out of a slump and try to take control again. I think exercising really helps, i've been finding that for myself lately. It keeps me from sulking too much or dwelling on negative things... im too busy being sore lately!!! LOL. have a great day tomorrow! see ya fri night!

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SLCOLMAN 2/11/2009 8:58PM

    Glad to hear that you are doing OK and working through things. Sorry about the running pain again though :(

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Still missing, doing pretty ok.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

So last night I had an internal battle of the wills for a moment to stay within range, but I DID IT.

And today might have been tough, but by planning out dinner I think I've figured out how to make a very filling dinner for few calories and set myself up for success. (Check out the tracker -- I will be adding some flavoring ingredients to the dinner but it won't add too much cal, not sure which sauce (black bean&Garlic or Teriyaki but about 30cal each for my portion) and or garlic/ginger....)

Workout last night was tough -- I was so sore from the video yesterday it was hard, but I got some calories burned and I'm taking today off to recover.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SWEETZMIX 2/11/2009 10:18AM

    YAY!! I AM GLAD TO HEAR YOU ARE DOING OK DANA!! I know Roscoe is still missing but I am glad you are sounding more like you. We are still praying for you!!

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LAFTERSFREE 2/11/2009 1:31AM

    i am SO sore today, everywhere. i could barely move in wateraerobics today... soooo im thinking yeah,,,,, i need to realllly start stretching more!!! my legs feel the worst!!! i hope i make it through tomorrow !!! emoticon

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TRACYZABELLE 2/10/2009 6:14PM

    It is good that you exercised more to burn off the extra you ate yesterday. Everything is good with Garlic! I am making a pork loin in the crock pot tomorrow with garlic! YUMM!

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_RAMONA 2/10/2009 5:36PM

    I so admire you, and your graciousness! Thanks for your wonderful example!

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}

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HOPERY 2/10/2009 5:29PM

    I'm so proud of you! You are doing so well in spite of crappy life situations. You are a real warrior princess!!

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Still missing....

Monday, February 09, 2009

... sorry if I let my ugly out with that rant, but I had to get it out of my head. And now it's over.

I'm feeling SLIGHTLY more head screwed on straight. About to head to BAND and then the GYM. I'm quite sore from yesterday's video! Especially my hamstrings! I think it's from the plyometric circuit.

Tonight I'm making homemade chili cheese dogs. (OK, so um... the homemade part is the chili. But still!)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCYA8 2/10/2009 1:17PM

    hi sweetie - your rant was totally understandable. sometimes nice isn't the answer.

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BRUIN2 2/9/2009 8:32PM

    Oh how I love hot dogs.

Hope you have fun at band and have an awesome sweat at the gym!!

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TRACYZABELLE 2/9/2009 7:49PM

    Any leftover chili you can make taco salad with tomorrow! YUM! You don't need to add taco chips-- just lettuce, tomato, onion cheddar and chili! YUM! (I like other veggies in there too )

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All the well-intentioned people...

Monday, February 09, 2009

... who suggest someone took in my dog without attempting to find the owner...

Just fill me with anger. What moronic hillbilly person is going to just take someone's dog and make no attempts AT ALL to find the owner? If they made the BAREST effort, they'd find us. Chances are he still has his collar on, which has our info, even if not, I have ads spread all over the internet, in the newspaper, on the lost and found hotline, flyers in every vet and shelter and petstore... All they'd have to do is make the TINIEST effort. And I'm scouring the "Found" information in all of these locations as well.

OH not to mention that if they were intending to take good care of him, I'm sure he'd at least need a vet visit after being in the woods/on the streets so long, just to check him out... and he's MICROCHIPPED. So if they took him anyplace around this area, I checked with them they ALL scan for microchips.

If this is the case I'd be so angry. It is NOT comforting to think that instead of me not having my dog because he's wandering living life as a stray and avoiding capture, it's because some other family decided to declare him THEIR DOG. You know?

Anyway. I know people mean well when they say that and I am not upset at their intentions.

But it frickin ticks me off.

This weekend was mostly good. Got in my birthday gift of Jillian Michaels' two new DVD's. I tried the "cardio" based one and it kicked my butt, per usual JM standards. I burned like 602 calories in 51 minutes or something, and that's including about 10min of warm up cool down. YEAH. And no equipment. JM is a vicious task master.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLCOLMAN 2/9/2009 7:06PM

    Sorry about the stupid people....
Awesome about the new DVDs!!!

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SWEETZMIX 2/9/2009 1:36PM

    Dana, u know how it is on the cpu. People leave comments without thinking or not knowing how it is going to be taken. Very insensitive people, I tell ya!!

And that JM DVD sounds wicked!! You gotta give me the name!!

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    are those her newest dvds??? people say dumb things.

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_RAMONA 2/9/2009 1:02PM

    Aw Dana, I'm so sorry for you... my heart aches right along with you. I don't believe I have mentioned it as yet, but it did cross my mind. There are a number of people just this selfish and moronic out there. And no, it's NOT comforting one little bit.... in fact, it's even more disconcerting in some ways. My cousin 'lost' his pure bred, micro chipped, rotwieller puppy... only to find him a year later five houses down the street, still wearing the expensive leather collar HE had bought for him! As he apprehended the dog with no resistance from the thief, she just shrugged. I know, it makes NO sense, but it does happen. I 'lost' a cat for two weeks under similar circumstances. I did (as did my cousin) everything you have done. I went door to door telling people my story. I've been praying that this isn't the case... but.... The good news may be that should this be the case, as in the case of my cousin and myself, Roscoe will eventually make it home to you.

{{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}

Comment edited on: 2/9/2009 1:25:03 PM

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Still missing...

Friday, February 06, 2009

... and I'm just. Not quite right.

I'm being more productive at work, I'm getting in my workouts... but everything just feels less good.

It's like I have this anxiety gnawing at me in the background and I feel this constant need to be amused/entertained/distracted... otherwise I just get bundled into a bunch of nerves.

And the ache in my heart just won't go away. It's like I'm living life on pins and needles. I'm trying really hard to just think about the moment and be very PRESENT. It works sometimes, but mostly in those times when I'm being amused/entertained/distracted.

I need some all encompassing personal project or something.

This weekend I plan to do some things on my computer at home that I've been meaning to do... (load my new MP3 player for running with some music, upload some photos). So maybe that will help.

I'm still not where I want to be weight wise but it's going. I'm not too worried about it, it's just a matter of time.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_RAMONA 2/9/2009 1:00PM

    {{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}

Comment edited on: 2/9/2009 1:01:42 PM

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TRACYZABELLE 2/9/2009 6:14AM

    Hang in there! For him to not come home or show up, it makes me think someone took him in. If he was a friendly dog that is entirely possible. Hang in there!

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SKYFYRE 2/9/2009 2:04AM

    Dana, Sorry you are going through this. I hope distraction helps.
Think of you! Hugs, KRissy

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SLCOLMAN 2/7/2009 10:17PM

    Hang in there!

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MOM2ACAT 2/7/2009 5:52PM

    emoticon That's got to be so hard, knowing where Roscoe is, but still out of reach.
I continue to pray that he will come home to you.

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TRECECOOKS 2/7/2009 3:52PM

    I have been where you are, and I commend you for not eating non-stop; I was a basket-case. I continue to plead Roscoe's case before our Heavenly Father.

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TELERIE 2/7/2009 4:39AM

    emoticon A project sounds good. Something else to think about...

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**PRICELESS** 2/6/2009 9:26PM

    I anxiously await the day I get to open your blog to immediately see ROSCOE'S HOME!!

Until then, take care of yourself hun!

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