Friday, February 06, 2009
... and I'm just. Not quite right.
I'm being more productive at work, I'm getting in my workouts... but everything just feels less good.
It's like I have this anxiety gnawing at me in the background and I feel this constant need to be amused/entertained/distracted... otherwise I just get bundled into a bunch of nerves.
And the ache in my heart just won't go away. It's like I'm living life on pins and needles. I'm trying really hard to just think about the moment and be very PRESENT. It works sometimes, but mostly in those times when I'm being amused/entertained/distracted.
I need some all encompassing personal project or something.
This weekend I plan to do some things on my computer at home that I've been meaning to do... (load my new MP3 player for running with some music, upload some photos). So maybe that will help.
I'm still not where I want to be weight wise but it's going. I'm not too worried about it, it's just a matter of time.