ZIRCADIA   49,130
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Work.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

... SHOULD NOT happen at 6AM.

UGH.

And I'm here for another 3.5+ hrs. BAH. I cannot wait to get out of here and go for that run I've been planning!!!!!!!! :D But I am also so tired. It sucks because by the time I get out of here and done working out practically my whole day is gone, plus I can't stay up very late because I woke up so early. (At least I won't have any problems getting to bed early enough to wake up on time TOMORROW.) It's just a bummer.

BUT! Next week I actually have a DAY OFF, believe it or not. :D We're going to see The Dirtbombs in concert, so yay. I'm excited about that.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LADY_DONKEY 3/29/2008 1:46PM

    I totally agree. My workday starts at 6AM every morning M-F and I hate it. I get up at 4:30a every morning to ensure that I have enough time to get ready and awake for work. Then, I start conking out around 8:30p. It's really embarrassing when you fall asleep before your 9 and 7 yr old.

Just wait until you have kids and your parent job starts at 3a and you're ready for bed at 7p, completely exhausted, with nothing more but a temporarily clean diaper to show for it.

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TRECECOOKS 3/29/2008 12:39PM

    Hope you have a good day, despite the circumstances!

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Emotional Eating Trigger.

Friday, March 28, 2008

So........

this is part of the HP Challenge this week, and I never really realized it until recently what my trigger was.

GUILT.

When I'm angry, I feel like cleaning (I don't get angry very often..haha), when I'm sad, I just feel like moping or shopping or something, but I realized that recently when I've been turning to the food it's been when I feel guilty or ashamed of myself.

The weekend before last we went to my in-laws and I realized at some point that I think I was supposed to teach in church that Sunday. That guilt was tearing me up inside even though I couldn't do ANYTHING about it at that point, I couldn't let it go, and I ate a ton of stuff I really shouldn't have and I wasn't even hungry really. Then this past weekend on Saturday night we stayed up ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL night watching 30Rock on DVD (SO FUN), but I knew I was sabotaging myself for church in the morning. We slept in, didn't go, and I ate most of my calories in CANDY that day. I tracked and didn't go over -- because I was adamant with myself about that point -- but I didn't even TRY for eating healthy.

When I'm ashamed of my actions, do I feel like I don't deserve to eat healthy? I wonder what the specific deep down gut reaction is that causes me to turn to the food when I feel that guilt.

I really don't know, but the more I think about it the more accurate that seems to be. And it seems to be the catalyst for those occasions where I've gone a little bit too far in my eating, and continue to keep going in a binge-type way-- it's because I started feeling the guilt for how I'm behaving and I'm trying to stuff it away by continuing the action. If I can ignore the initial guilt, maybe it will stop bothering me?

I dunno. But I'm glad I've taken the time to think about this and learn something new about myself so I can take a more rational reaction to my emotions next time.

P.S. -- I'm also supposed to think about a reward for the next 6 weeks. I know what I want. Just gotta convince the DH. Ok so let's see -- The idea is for me to reach my goal of 175 in the next 6 week's -- theoretically that's about 1lb a week. When I reach my goal I want that HRM of my dreams! :D

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LANC92 3/29/2008 6:06AM

    If I wasn't an emotional eater, I would weigh 90 lbs. LOL. My inital trigger was 32 years ago (long story) and I STILL can't figure out how to stop it. I've been on a tear this week and can't slow the roll. Honestly sometimes it's one day at a time.

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AKASHA66 3/29/2008 3:39AM

    WHen you know the enmy, you can defeat him--or something like that the quote goes. I'm not sure what a HRM is, but I hope you get one in 6 weeks!

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PITTIEKISSES 3/28/2008 11:49PM

    Yes, guilt can be a bitch. I hope you get over it soon. I have to tell you that I tried your fish tacos and they freaking rock! I just had them tonight. Ah yes, they are yummy.

Also, I want to say that you should be proud of the running thing.

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MISS_BETH12 3/28/2008 10:48PM

    I can understand what your going through. I too am an emotional eater and if I am sad or upset I really struggle to not throw my healthy habits out the window. Given some of the experiences I have been through, it's no wonder I gained weight! (Of course, I didn't realize what I was doing at the time- I am much more in tune with it now.) I think it's good to know these things about ourselves, that way we can make a plan to couterattack. Emotions can be good, but sometimes they are so incredibly evil. LOL Anyway, keep me posted on how you deal with your newfound revelation. We are always discovering new things about ourselves!

*Bethie*

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TURTLE_MOM 3/28/2008 9:52PM

    That is interesting. It's good to find that stuff out about ourselves. Loneliness and stress do it for me. I do think it has something to do with the whole "I'm not worthy" type of thinking. I know that with me when I was single and overweight I wouldn't think I was worthy to date or have anyone else love me - so why not stay overweight to keep people away?

Our brains are some wicked messed up things - but it's all part of who we are and part of our purpose on this earth!

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TRECECOOKS 3/28/2008 8:48PM

    Excellent work, isolating your trigger. I know that guilt is one of mine, too. But more to the point, I'm "not worthy" of NOT self-sabotaging. Ouch!!
Wonderful reward, by the way - I want an HRM, too!!

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MILLER32807 3/28/2008 8:06PM

    That is interesting that it is so specific to that one emotion... I feel the urge to eat quite often, mad, upset, guilty. But I do understand how you feel. I guess it is good that you understand that particular trigger now as it may help you to control that better. Good luck on your 6 week goal... hope you get that HRM soon :)

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CATIATM 3/28/2008 7:10PM

    Hmm ... Interesting that it's so specific to one emotion.

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Friday.....

Friday, March 28, 2008

..... but I have to work tomorrow. BOO!

Also, I didn't get in my ST this morning as planned because I realized I left my dumbells at the gym. So my NEW plan is to hit the gym up tomorrow after my run -- we'll see. I might just do it on Sunday after getting my dumbells at the gym on Saturday.

In any case! I'm ready to go home from work now. Only 2.5 more hours, but I'm ready to go NOW.

  


RUNNING!!!!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Soooooo, I RAN today for the first time in ages. My MP3 player was dead (BOO), so I did it without any musical distractions. And indoors on a track -- it was GORGEOUS outside today, but I was running late and not prepared to run outside (i.e. - SUNBLOCK (I burn like crazy) and extra time to go to where I wanted to run and back to the gym to shower). I WILL do it soon though!!!

So even with all the lame parts, I did 2 miles and I maintained a faster pace than ever before! 11.5min miles! :D So that's pretty motivating!

I plan to do full body strength training tomorrow, and run again on Saturday after work. I'm excited.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRACEFULTURTLES 3/28/2008 7:17PM

    Woohoo! Run Run Run. You are a gazelle! You are the wind. Look at her go :) (I tell myself that to get through the hard parts)

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JARLYNN 3/28/2008 2:27PM

    Congrats on running again.

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TURTLE_MOM 3/28/2008 9:41AM

    Running? What? I have no desire to do that, ever! But hubby told me the other day, that I might be surprised what I'm able to do when I lose weight - well you are awesome proof of that!

You rock!

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AKASHA66 3/28/2008 5:28AM

    Good for you, I don't run, messes with my bad knee, but I wish I could. You must have felt great!

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TRECECOOKS 3/27/2008 10:36PM

    How wonderful for you!! I am so glad that you had such a terrific run!!

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SWEATONCEADAY 3/27/2008 10:30PM

    sunblock???? that made me laugh. not a problem here. glad you enjoyed your run.

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MARLIE13 3/27/2008 7:50PM

    Good for you running...even with all the lame parts. I remember a day a few years ago...when I walked into the gym and discovered my ipod was dead. I turned around and walked out. Wouldn't happen today...but I remember that now and laugh. What a ding dong I used to be...any excuse.

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CATIATM 3/27/2008 5:03PM

    I stayed home from work today and mainly slept. Now I feel like even more of a slug! ;-p Good for you!

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BRUIN2 3/27/2008 4:49PM

    Yahooo!!!

(Though I'm REALLY REALLY REALLY jealous that you *had* to run inside because you didn't have sunblock...there's still snow on the ground here...boooo)

It's so nice to run without any distractions...especially when you're having a good run as opposed to sucking wind. hehehe.



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Making the Cut GRADUATE! :)

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

WOOHOO!! :) I did it!! 30 days and it's kind of zoomed by now that I'm at the end. Well -- I did the whole, measure and take pictures before and after. And while the pictures are not fit for public consumption -- I can see a difference! :) Luckily, measurements are just numbers so they're easier to share. ;) hehehe.

_____BEFORE MTC____AFTER MTC___ Difference:
Bust:. . . . . 38.5. . . . . . . . . . . . 37.5. . . . . . . . . . -1"
Chest:. . . .34.5. . . . . . . . . . . . .33.5. . . . . . . . . . -1"
Waist:. . . . .33. . . . . . . . . . . . . 32.5. . . . . . . . . .-0.5"
Hips:. . . . . . 44. . . . . . . . . . . . .42.5. . . . . . . . . . . -1.5"
Thighs:. . . .24.25. . . . . . . . . . . .23. . . . . . . . . .-1.25"
Biceps:. . . . 12. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11. . . . . . . . . . . . .-1"
Weight:. . . .186. . . . . . . . . . . .181.4. . . . . . . . . .-4.6lbs
Body Fat:. . .26.5%. . . . . . . . . .24.7%. . . . . . . . .-1.8%

Those numbers are pretty awesome, eh??? :D

I was also FINALLY wanting to post my OVERALL before and afters since I've never done that.

_____STARTING SP_____ NOW_______Difference:
Waist:. . . . .44. . . . . . . . . . . . . 32.5. . . . . . . . . . . -11.5"
Hips:. . . . . 56.5. . . . . . . . . . . .42.5. . . . . . . . . . . -14"
Neck:. . . . . .15. . . . . . . . . . . . .12.75. . . . . . . . . . .-2.25"
Weight:. . .290. . . . . . . . . . . .181.4. . . . . . . . . .-108.6lbs

CAN YOU BELIEVE my HIPS are now smaller than my WAIST USED to be?!?!?!? WOAH!!!!!!!!!! :D That is mind boggling to me. :D

I started recording a few other measurements later, although I'm not sure when... so here are those.

_____SOMETIME?_____ NOW_____Difference:
Bust:. . . . .44. . . . . . . . . . . . 37.5. . . . . . . . .-6.5"
Thighs:. . .28. . . . . . . . . . . . 23. . . . . . . . . . .-5"
Calves:. . .16.5. . . . . . . . . . 15. . . . . . . . . . .-1.5"
Biceps:. . . .13. . . . . . . . . . . .11. . . . . . . . . . . .-2"

Now, I don't really know when I started measuring this stuff, but 1" of that bicep loss came during Making the Cut and that is a HUGE deal because my arms have been my least favorite part of my whole weight loss transformation so far, and now I've done something that actually shrunk them!!!! :) I feel much more confident about my arms now.

But those numbers from the start to current on hips and waist are the most amazing to me. I lost about a FOOT from my waist and over that from my hips. I wish I had taken some of the other measurements from the beginning -- especially body fat %. I know it would have been scary back then, but to be able to see the change in that number would be amazing. I can say that when I started measuring body fat % I was at about 29.1%, and now I'm below 25%. :D WOOHOO!!! :D I'm getting closer to my 23% goal.

I have also found out through the calculations at gripiron that since I've started measuring body fat % I've lost 12.5lbs of FAT, and lost only 3.1lbs of lean tissue. When I started gripiron my goal was to lose 10lbs of fat and 3lbs of lean tissue, so I think I did a little better than that. :D WOOHOO!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BMSALYER 3/28/2008 11:50AM

    Absolutely Incredible! Way to go!

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**PRICELESS** 3/27/2008 10:07PM

    You totally ROCK!!!!!
Just want you to know you are a total inspiration! Keep up the Great work!!!

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MARLIE13 3/27/2008 7:42PM

    Holy Freakin' Heck! You're such a rockstar!

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LOBO1978_2000 3/27/2008 11:22AM

    Great numbers. Looking good.

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MRS.SORENSEN 3/27/2008 12:53AM

    Oh wow! How inspiring! You must feel great! I'm gonna look into the MTC book, I've been reading so many wonderful things!

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SWEATONCEADAY 3/26/2008 8:55PM

    welcome to the mtc alumni! way to go!

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CATIATM 3/26/2008 8:51PM

    You rock!

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MISS_BETH12 3/26/2008 8:15PM

    Thank you for sharing your measurements! They are incredible! Keep up the awesome work! I can't wait till I have measurements like those. :)

*Bethie*

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RRTSMOM 3/26/2008 7:22PM

    thats awesome!!!! i soo cant wait to see my results like yours...sooner or later hehe....wtg

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TEXASTITCHER 3/26/2008 6:21PM

    Congratulations. That is great and thanks for being an inspiration.

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LILBITFIT 3/26/2008 6:05PM

    IMPRESSIVE!!!

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MILLER32807 3/26/2008 12:46PM

    WOW, you have done an amazingly, awesome job. I can't believe how much you have changed. You have so much to be proud of.

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SHINYSILVRVOLVO 3/26/2008 12:07PM

    Oh, well done! What a huge amount of progress! It's amazing to look at those numbers and see just how far you've come. Graet job!

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AKASHA66 3/26/2008 12:01PM

    This is all great! Very impressive. I just got out the tape and measured off how much you lost from waist and hips--just amazing!!!

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BRUIN2 3/26/2008 11:53AM

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!

Y
ou did famously!!!! (Yes, apparently I've turned into an old woman and I now use words like "famously").

YAY for YOU!!!

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LANC92 3/26/2008 11:49AM

    FANTASTIC!

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SKINNYSOON13 3/26/2008 11:48AM

    Dana, that is so awesome! That's why measurements are soooooo important!

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